Ben Higgins - Bachelorette 11 - *Spoilers - Sleuthing* - Discussion #2

I love Ben and sent a letter to Millsy about him being the bachelor. He has responded before so hopefully he does! I think Ben would be great!

stuckinsc wrote:

BlackHalo wrote:

stuckinsc wrote:I respect all of your opinions. But I do look a bit differently at Ben.  His bff is a mean spirited jealous guy.  Who you consider a bff says a lot about a person.

No one else has to share my opinion that is okay with me.  

Let me say, I don't expect Ben to say a word about Nick, but when you endorse K&S and their immaturity as a whole it speaks volumes to me.

I understand where you are coming from. You are the company you keep, right? Idk. Maybe I would feel differently if Shawn were dropping gay slurs, making racist jokes or anything of that nature. As problematic as he is, I do think there is some good there. JMO.

Shawn's fiance continues to make gay jokes about Clint and JJ.  By doing so it is not only annoying to Clint and JJ, but her doing so makes it seem like it would be an issue if they were.  I find that very disrespectful to people who are gay.  Again, just my own bias.

ITA. It is nothing but bullying when K makes gay jokes. It's not a joke. It's not funny. K seems incapable of putting herself in other people's shoes. She is too busy high-five-ing herself in the mirror (something she has said she does when she wakes up).

Ben would be better off distancing himself from Shawn, imo. As would Dr C. I think they are "friends" with Shawn because they think they can be a good influence in his life. Dr C taking Shawn to his church is one example.

Unfortunately, I don't think Ben is much influence at all. S&K just used his name to make themselves look better... and I think Ben, in that room in SA with S&K knew full and well where he stood spinning his wheels. He just wasn't willing to stand up to Shawn or even question him and his getting the king-sized bed but he made sure to bring it up on MTA. If anything, to me, his association with Shawn at all in thinking he looks better for it makes him look far, far worse, imo. Makes me think Ben had a front row seat to Shawn's narcissism and he never called him out on it. A true friend will tell you the truth and keep you in check. TWT

AllAboutLove wrote:

stuckinsc wrote:

BlackHalo wrote:
I understand where you are coming from. You are the company you keep, right? Idk. Maybe I would feel differently if Shawn were dropping gay slurs, making racist jokes or anything of that nature. As problematic as he is, I do think there is some good there. JMO.

Shawn's fiance continues to make gay jokes about Clint and JJ.  By doing so it is not only annoying to Clint and JJ, but her doing so makes it seem like it would be an issue if they were.  I find that very disrespectful to people who are gay.  Again, just my own bias.

ITA. It is nothing but bullying when K makes gay jokes. It's not a joke. It's not funny. K seems incapable of putting herself in other people's shoes. She is too busy high-five-ing herself in the mirror (something she has said she does when she wakes up).  

Ben would be better off distancing himself from Shawn, imo. As would Dr C. I think they are "friends" with Shawn because they think they can be a good influence in his life. Dr C taking Shawn to his church is one example.

Unfortunately, I don't think Ben is much influence at all. S&K just used his name to make themselves look better... and I think Ben, in that room in SA with S&K knew full and well where he stood spinning his wheels. He just wasn't willing to stand up to Shawn or even question him and his getting the king-sized bed but he made sure to bring it up on MTA. If anything, to me, his association with Shawn at all in thinking he looks better for it makes him look far, far worse, imo. Makes me think Ben had a front row seat to Shawn's narcissism and he never called him out on it. A true friend will tell you the truth and keep you in check. TWT

We have no idea what Shawn and Ben's dynamic is or what went down BTS of the show or what happened in that bedroom in SA. We were not there. We were not privy to it. Maybe Ben slept on the cot because he didn't want to share a bed with a grown man. Perhaps they took turns sleeping in the king size bed. Why does everything always turn into Shawn being some massive bully and Ben being his lapdog? Is it not possible that two guys could develop a friendship that was bigger than who was going to "win" the girl? A girl they both spent less than a total of 72 hours with during the filming of this show? They have a "bromance", they talked about "bro" things. Things that had nothing to do with their relationships with Kaitlyn. Why would he call Shawn out? I honestly don't think a guy like Ben, who has a ton of friends and who everyone in the cast speaks so highly of and who stands up for JJ at MTA, would have taken crap from Shawn and is now just associating with him for more recognition. JMO.

I really like Ben and don't say this to question his motives, but it wouldn't be surprising to see him posting and supporting Shawn and Kaitlyn because their support (and that of their fans) would mean a lot to his Bachelor campaign.  They have supported him.  He may not agree with their post show behavior, but he does feel loyalty to them and may want to garner fan support with their fans.

It is not a bad plan... Just a smart one. Why not use the already established fan base of the couple in love?

You are all welcome to your opinions. But, if you have a friend who is mean to others and rude, yup, I do think you should try to help them be better.

It maybe he is, all of you are correct that I do not know. I like Sharleen and have never understood her friendship with the mean girls, but they are their better less self absorbed selfs around her.

Again, this isn't about Nick. Nick might have irritated Ben too. It is gay slur making Kaitlyn, all we are is drunk and peri scoping snap chatting K&S. The recent pics maybe all producer, since it seems like Megan Firestone posting.

I will wait and see, but it gives me pause. As I said before you may think differently than I do. It is allowed.

Just saying, Jared, the precious cutie, is also good friends with Shawn. And says he's a wonderful person and blah blah blah. So, he thinks highly of the guy. So it's not just Ben and Dr. C. Also, Ben Z has said some nice things about Shawn. It seems like the majority of the "main" cast likes Shawn. So, yes, I think these people care about their friendships with him and how he treats them, and dont focus on how he acts with others, cause frankly it's not their business nor do they probably care (especially on this show.)

Ben said himself on the ATFR that he got the cot, and "how did that happen" paraphrasing.

If they were taking turns sleeping in the KSB, I don't think he would have added "how did that happen".

IMO Ben isn't going to create any waves, whether Shawn was the F1 or someone else. Ben is a good guy who won't get involved in anything associated with drama. Not much drama in his edit, and I think that's why. I don't think his friendship has anything to do with using his association with Shawn as TB. Shawn has no say in it. We know at this point they are stringing along two maybe three guys ( if they haven't already decided) . Ben is sitting back waiting, to see if he has the gig or not, and that's all he's doing. He's not promoting himself, he's not retweeting every single tweet that mentions TB, like so many past leads have done because he is just a humble nice guy. JMHO's.

And to me, ^ that is what is refreshing about Ben.

I think Ben is Ben. He's pretty quietly living his life. What does anything Shawn or Kaitlyn say have to do with him?

Is he supposed to monitor very word that comes out of their mouths every day and then take to social media to formally announce his opinions on what they have said that he disagrees with? I'm sure he has much better things to do and other things on his mind and when an opportunity comes up to hang out with people he enjoys the company of he'd do it.

Some people like Shawn. Strange to me that that is a reason to look down on others by association. JMO.

I love your opinion relaxing and agree completely. None of these pple are 2-dimension, everyone has different sides to them and if pple who actually know someone have an opinion about that someone, I will take that opinion above one formed from seeing a highly edited show or a couple of minutes of an interview on tv, all this is just my opinion as always.

lexforlife wrote:I love your  opinion relaxing and agree completely.  None of these pple are 2-dimension, everyone has different sides to them and if pple who actually know someone have an opinion about that someone, I  will take that opinion above one formed from seeing a highly edited show or a couple of minutes of an interview on tv, all this is just my opinion as always.

Good post.

These guys have spent 24/7 with Shawn for a number of weeks and would know him better than us. We only saw a small part and we only saw what TPTB wanted us to see. K/S also commented that Shawn is a funny guy but they only showed him being possessive and jealous.

I do agree with GA, Kasha and relaxing ... although I believe that the type of friends we choose does tell something about us too ... I do have a friend who is similar to Kaitlyn and I'm very different from her, I also have periods when I prefer not to hang out with her, because there is a time & place when I can "handle" her and moments when I have no energy to "battle" hers. And I understand why she's in my life, I know why I like her and what I don't like about her, but I accept it anyway and I get that it's based on my personal view of myself and my character.