Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #6

Book update:  I've now listened through chapter 15 on the audible book (free trial).

Chapter 13, 14, 15- She needs a restraining order...against herself.  28 days post breakup and she's stalking #26 on SM. She gets ticked that he unfriended her and is now following some blonde models, so to spare the 1% of dignity she feels she has left, she decides to "detox" her ex from her system by deleting all their IG pics and unfriending.  He texts her the next morning and she assumes it can't be good so she refuses to read his text and instead has Kelly read it and delete it promising her that she will never tell her what it said. She then changes his number to "regret" in her contacts.

Let's talk about sex....oh, where this chapter goes. There is almost too much to highlight here.  Basically Andi has no regrets about sleeping with two men in a week and feels as a woman she should be able to have sex whenever and with whomever she wants.  She also believes in test driving before you buy.

#26 texts her while she's in Miami and the conversation goes like this:

#26 : "Did you sleep with anyone else on the show".... "Because if you did, this is over. No way I can handle that".
After thinking about her options
Andi: "Nah."
#26:  Cool. Just checking. How's Florida?"

Two weeks later she says that he called again while she was in a car headed to MTA.  He asked again.  This time she told the truth.  He was devastated, angry and hurt.  She apologized profusely and gave her but... here's why I did it (enter her feminist rant) and went into full lawyer mode defending why she spread her legs. She said the conversation was touch and go for hours and it ended with her feeling like she could have been more sympathetic to her hurting fiance. However, her primary defense mechanism kicked in....justification. She said it took a lot for them to move on from the argument that by every indication would ruin their relationship, but at the time she was "pleasantly surprised by his ability to accept her apology and agree to disagree on the merits of the situation."   "Even though he could have walked away, he didn't and handled the conversation like an adult."

This of course changed after the ATFR revelation and the topic then became an issue for the rest of their relationship, ultimately leading to their breakup.

More to come......

Or she didn't mention the Murrays because having to state that Josh continually chose her over them, that he gave up most family events to do what she wanted and spent his first Christmas in many years with her family in Vegas instead at church with his doesn't fit her abused girlfriend narrative. And yes, the UGA family still loves the Murrays and always will. They do good things for the school and the community. Perhaps MM is overly involved in their lives, but if you don't like that then don't chose someone whose closeness to their family annoys you. I like MM, I wouldn't mind a MIL like her. And yes I still follow her on FB. She is a pretty positive and uplifting person. She does the Advocrap stuff, but she also gives back to the community and helps others. Unlike Empress MeAndi.

I am sure Josh has a temper as does MeAndi, but placing all the blame on him and none on herself too me smacks of her book being a bunch of her self delusional lies.

All JMO.

As the one who read her book . For sure the main problem of their rel as engaged couple was Andi's sex with #25 . The issue about her sex with him never resolve. It is funny that on her atfr  she made sure that #26 knew about it and able to make sure he was okay with it. Oh boy he never ever forget about it and still an issue all along . I would think if andi told him about her sex with #25 before the engagement , no proposal ever happened. Jmo

Well it's nice to see that our sleuthers are once again proved correct. She confirms we nailed it last year when we were speculating that she was trolling his SM and messing with his accounts. I just find it hard to believe that a college educated woman in her late 20's acts like this. This is like some preteen girl whose hormones are messing with her thinking. About as far from empowerment as it gets.

I haven't written an Amazon review but this is my favorite. As a mom, this is exactly how I feel about this book too.

1.0 out of 5 stars but no one over 15 years old could enjoy this book
ByPink Lily on May 18, 2016
Format: Hardcover
The reviews here are correct. She tries to come across as an experienced woman who can give advice how to survive relationships, but no one over 15 years old could enjoy this book. If you've raised teens, or even just knew any 14 year old girl, maybe one who is a bit immature, spoiled and blames everyone else for all her issues, then you've already heard this story. The biggest take away from the book is she is so far away from being ready for an adult relationship, and in no ready ready for a marriage. She needs to spend her time growing up and becoming a woman before she tries to give her knowledge to others. Put it this way, if my own teen daughter had a mentality like this, I would be ashamed that I had failed. If my adult child did, I would just turn in my mom card. I was embarrassed for her while reading it.

Beach Lover wrote:Book update:  I've now listened through chapter 15 on the audible book (free trial).

Chapter 13, 14, 15- She needs a restraining order...against herself.

ITA. Her justification for her behavior is pure narcissist. Jmo

I bet it's just eating at her, he won't give her a response

I can't help think she may have been tipped off about the ATFR confrontation by #25. Why wait till two weeks before the MTA to fess up? She obviously held on to the secret as long as she could, and if IMO she wasn't tipped off, she never would have admitted it, jmho just the way I see the way her mind works. They made a big deal, CH included, about how good it was they were always honest with each other so hey no big surprise for #26, he already knew, yeah, two weeks before.

#25 struggled with the question, which always led me to believe, he was coached along on what to say. The letter the question, IMO was all pre planned. Someone knew it was going to go down that way, and someone must of warned her of that possibility.

lovebites8727 wrote:As the one who read her book . For sure the main problem of their rel as engaged couple was Andi's sex with #25 . The issue about her sex with him never resolve. It is funny that on her atfr  she made sure that #26 knew about it and able to make sure he was okay with it. Oh boy he never ever forget about it and still an issue all along . I would think if andi told him about her sex with #25 before the engagement , no proposal ever happened. Jmo

If her FS date with Josh was first maybe things would have been different. But she was not engaged to Josh when she slept with Nick and I am sure Josh has slept with plenty girls before Andi also. Josh knew how this show worked and he should have been prepared that this might happen. IMO of course.

Andi and Josh BOTH seem very enmeshed with their own families. I don't think either one has a less tangled relationship.  I bet Andi talks too and receives support financial and otherwise from her family on nearly daily basis as well.  Andi is so proud that Hy would kill and bury any guy who wronged her.  I guess Josh is lucky he is still walking around.  If someone was publicly trashing me I would delete any positive comment about them from my SM too. No winners here that I can see.  

JMO

GuardianAngel wrote:I can't help think she may have been tipped off about the ATFR confrontation by #25. Why wait till two weeks before the MTA to fess up? She obviously held on to the secret as long as she could, and if IMO she wasn't tipped off, she never would have admitted it, jmho just the way I see the way her mind works. They made a big deal, CH included, about how good it was they were always honest with each other so hey no big surprise for #26, he already knew, yeah, two weeks before.

#25 struggled with the question, which always led me to believe, he was coached along on what to say. The letter the question, IMO was all pre planned. Someone knew it was going to go down that way, and someone must of warned her of that possibility.

I thought TPTB were trying to break them up, that they wanted Josh as the bachelor. I wonder if CM felt bad for her and warned her? JMO.

stuckinsc wrote:

GuardianAngel wrote:I can't help think she may have been tipped off about the ATFR confrontation by #25. Why wait till two weeks before the MTA to fess up? She obviously held on to the secret as long as she could, and if IMO she wasn't tipped off, she never would have admitted it, jmho just the way I see the way her mind works. They made a big deal, CH included, about how good it was they were always honest with each other so hey no big surprise for #26, he already knew, yeah, two weeks before.

#25 struggled with the question, which always led me to believe, he was coached along on what to say. The letter the question, IMO was all pre planned. Someone knew it was going to go down that way, and someone must of warned her of that possibility.

I thought TPTB were trying to break them up, that they wanted Josh as the bachelor. I wonder if CM felt bad for her and warned her? JMO.

I always felt Nick sent the letter and asked the question since he was the show puppet after the airline video. I figured he did not have much of a choice, but who knows.