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Monet Bell & Vaughn Copeland - Married at First Sight - Season 1 - Discussion *Spoilers*

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Post by theKeptGrits Wed Oct 01, 2014 12:47 pm

I agree that Black women are portrayed badly. I've never watched Atlanta Housewives, but I did watch Married to Medicine and could not believe it.
I am white, but my son in law is Black and I am friends with his family and know them well. NONE of the strong women in that family would EVER think to act as Monet nor MTM or Housewives women have on screen.
Now if reality tv could find someone like Clair Huxtable on the Cosby Show...they might be closer to changing perception and finally help it be more positive. Will that ever happen is the question.


:soapbox Follow your heart, use your head, listen to your soul, keep dreaming :detective
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Post by GuardianAngel Wed Oct 01, 2014 4:17 pm

Ok I'm confused. So was Vaughn right or wrong in asking her what she thought? He asked Monet if Black women are portrayed in a negative manner and she flipped.

I personally have never thought in a million years that there is any difference between any race. White women have done their part going ballistic as well when dealing with challenging issues.

Was this his opinion, or did he ask her what she thought?


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Post by atem Wed Oct 01, 2014 4:27 pm

nuts2uiam wrote:The experts obviously did their homework as 2 couples were a success.  I wonder where the experts train fell off the tracks with this couple.  Did he wind up being more opinionated than they were aware of?  Did she come off more independent than they thought?  Wish, they would answer this.  

Also, would love to know from them, what was the order for success in their minds.  Of course, they all were paired off otherwise they would not have gone ahead with the couple but would love to know the experts "bets" on which couples would make it. Would the order for staying together have been Courtney and Jason, Jamie and Doug , Vaughn and Monet or some other.

I really have no idea why they paired them up. Even his Mom knew the very first night she met her it wouldn't work. scratch
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Post by Norcalgal Wed Oct 01, 2014 6:12 pm

An interview with Dr C that I read indicated that Monet and Vaughn had the highest compatibility scores - 90%. He didn't indicate what the scores were for the other two couples. He also didn't give specifics on WHICH test he used to measure their compatibility. Mama usually knows best though.

One other take away from the interview with Dr C was the 4 experts required production to give them 100% control over casting. That was a deal breaker for the professionals. He was very complimentary of casting.


Been watching this crap show like forever
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Post by Amberish Wed Oct 01, 2014 6:57 pm

From my point of view, both wanted a traditional relationship. However, his idea of traditional seemed to be a wife that cooked and she wanted a husband that had a clear career path towards the future.

IMO, the couple just didn't click. If it did, they wouldn't have tripped so much over what the other wasn't bringing to the relationship.
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Post by dw_a_mom Wed Oct 01, 2014 7:54 pm

I think the problem was in how each defined "traditional," as Amberish said.  Monet said in the finale that she has realized now that she didn't really understand what that meant.

I found they both often used terms in odd ways that, no doubt, contributed to inappropriate answers on the tests and, thus, distorted compatibility scores.  These tests are only as good as your ability to be use the terms in ways that are consistent with the understanding and intent of the author of the test.

I also don't know if it would have been possible for the testing to pick up on their fighting style, where they both, as noted by Dr. Pepper, quickly grab for grenades. That is just destructive no matter who is involved.



Just give me something that looks like a real love story to help me escape into my own version of fantasy for a while. And maybe against the odds one of those stories will actually survive real life. Nothing wrong with a little hope, right?
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Post by Lovedaddio Thu Oct 02, 2014 10:58 am

luvlady345 wrote:First of all Lovedaddio, Black women are not the only ones who deal with cheaters, abusers, addicts and deadbeat dads believe or not. And Black women are not the only women who have raised children alone.  And thirdly the Atlanta Housewives are not the only Housewives show that have wealthy and affluent women who  act like fools... And the fourth point IMO you entire post is cloak in racist stereotypes, I take it you didn't mean to offend, but still.

Luvlady345, First of all I am a Black man, so to say my comments were cloaked in racist stereotypes is ludicrous. I'm not sure you fully got my point. I certainly am aware that White, Latina, or Asian women would probably have some of the same complaints that black women do, But we're not talking about other races, we're talking about Black women. If you read all the way thru my comment I clearly stated that I thought the stereotypes were totally unfair. That Black women not being afraid to voice their displeasure of the behaviors of Black men should not be construed as being argumentative. I thought it was a legit question of Vaughn to ask Monet if he thought Black women were more argumentative. Sure there are other poor representations of other races. Something like Honey Booboo comes to mind.

I wish you had focused more on what I wrote about Vaughn and Monet specifically, but you are certainly entitled to your opinion regarding my post.

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Post by luvlady345 Thu Oct 02, 2014 2:55 pm

Lovedaddio wrote:
luvlady345 wrote:First of all Lovedaddio, Black women are not the only ones who deal with cheaters, abusers, addicts and deadbeat dads believe or not. And Black women are not the only women who have raised children alone.  And thirdly the Atlanta Housewives are not the only Housewives show that have wealthy and affluent women who  act like fools... And the fourth point IMO you entire post is cloak in racist stereotypes, I take it you didn't mean to offend, but still.

Luvlady345, First of all I am a Black man, so to say my comments were cloaked  in racist stereotypes is ludicrous. I'm not sure you fully got my point. I certainly am aware that White, Latina, or Asian women would probably have some of the same complaints that black women do, But we're not talking about other races, we're talking about Black women. If you read all the way thru my comment I clearly stated that I thought the stereotypes were totally unfair. That Black women not being afraid to voice their displeasure of the behaviors of Black men should not be construed as being argumentative. I thought it was a legit question of Vaughn to ask Monet if he thought Black women were more argumentative. Sure there are other poor representations of other races. Something like Honey Booboo comes to mind.

I wish you had focused more on what I wrote about Vaughn and Monet specifically, but you are certainly entitled to your opinion regarding my post.  


Well thanks for that... To answer your question regarding Vaughan I didn't like him because I felt he was a hypocrite and didn't give their relationship a fair chance, IMO opinion when he felt challenged by Monet his ego, couldn't handle being challenged and he also didn't respect her or their relationship, (threesome talk) I just don't think he was into her....


 

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”

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Post by Lovedaddio Thu Oct 02, 2014 4:21 pm

luvlady345 wrote:
Lovedaddio wrote:
luvlady345 wrote:First of all Lovedaddio, Black women are not the only ones who deal with cheaters, abusers, addicts and deadbeat dads believe or not. And Black women are not the only women who have raised children alone.  And thirdly the Atlanta Housewives are not the only Housewives show that have wealthy and affluent women who  act like fools... And the fourth point IMO you entire post is cloak in racist stereotypes, I take it you didn't mean to offend, but still.

Luvlady345, First of all I am a Black man, so to say my comments were cloaked  in racist stereotypes is ludicrous. I'm not sure you fully got my point. I certainly am aware that White, Latina, or Asian women would probably have some of the same complaints that black women do, But we're not talking about other races, we're talking about Black women. If you read all the way thru my comment I clearly stated that I thought the stereotypes were totally unfair. That Black women not being afraid to voice their displeasure of the behaviors of Black men should not be construed as being argumentative. I thought it was a legit question of Vaughn to ask Monet if he thought Black women were more argumentative. Sure there are other poor representations of other races. Something like Honey Booboo comes to mind.

I wish you had focused more on what I wrote about Vaughn and Monet specifically, but you are certainly entitled to your opinion regarding my post.  


Well thanks for that... To answer your question regarding Vaughan I didn't like him because I felt he was a hypocrite and didn't give their relationship a fair chance, IMO opinion when he felt challenged by Monet his ego, couldn't handle being challenged and he also didn't respect her or their relationship, (threesome talk) I just don't think he was into her....


Thank you for recognizing my point. Isn't it so nice when Black women and Black men get along....LOL. I agree that Vaughn is not used to, nor does he like being challenged by a woman and we all know Monet is not afraid to challenge him when she feels its warranted. I think he went into it wanting to respect her and the relationship, but as soon as they were on the honeymoon and he didn't feel like he was getting the attention he deserved from her he started pouting, which to me shows a level of immaturity on his part. I don't know if I would call him a hypocrite. He was very clear about what he wanted. I just still scratch my head over how these two were rated over 90% compatible. They have MAJOR philosophical differences about relationships. And I thought I read an excerpt from the Jet magazine interview that said that the "threesome" comment was more a product of how it was edited. That they were talking about wild and crazy sex stuff but it looked on camera like he was asking his new bride to do a threesome. I could be wrong. If anyone can post Vaughn's Jet interview I'd love to read it in full.

What did you think about my comment that Monet squeezing him into her apartment was a rather telling metaphor for their relationship? That she didn't mind being married and him being there as long he didn't upset her perfectly crafted life and cramp her style so to speak.

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Post by luvlady345 Thu Oct 02, 2014 5:33 pm

LOL, isn't it nice, OMG how could anyone rate them 90% is beyond me. See for me I am just speaking from a woman's point of view was that something happened to make Monet check out of the relationship early on because she was unwilling to compromise (bend) any for the relationship. I describe Monet as a woman who is good at putting up a front, this hard exterior but is a marshmallow on the inside if Vaughan would have displayed an ounce of being all in Monet IMO would have bent over backwards for him/the relationship. Watching them was like oil and water they just didn't gel.


 

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”

― Bernard M. Baruch
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Post by Lovedaddio Thu Oct 02, 2014 6:00 pm

luvlady345 wrote:LOL, isn't it nice,  OMG how could anyone rate them 90% is beyond me. See for me I am just speaking from a woman's point of view was that something happened to make Monet check out of the relationship early on because she was unwilling to compromise (bend) any for the relationship. I describe Monet as a woman who is good at putting  up a front, this hard exterior but is a marshmallow on the inside if Vaughan would have displayed an ounce of being all in Monet IMO would have bent over backwards for him/the relationship. Watching them was like oil and water they just didn't gel.

Oil and water?? How about chitlins at a bar mitzvah....LOL. I think when she realized how confused she was, was the beginning of the end for her, though it still could have been salvaged. I think that's when she had serious doubts. She even said, "when I give him space, he wants attention. When I give him attention he wants his space". The absolute death blow for Monet was when Vaughn said he was just trying to remain civil. At that moment Monet checked out for good.

I tend to agree with your assessment of Monet. She has a hard exterior at time, but I think beneath that she is quite vulnerable. Though I wonder if she would really bent over backwards for Vaughn. We now know what she truly meant when she said she wanted a more established man. Vaughn doesn't make enough money or have the potential to do so for her taste. At least that's what I got form her statement when Kevin Frazier pressed her on it.

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Post by luvlady345 Thu Oct 02, 2014 6:39 pm

Lovedaddio wrote:
luvlady345 wrote:LOL, isn't it nice,  OMG how could anyone rate them 90% is beyond me. See for me I am just speaking from a woman's point of view was that something happened to make Monet check out of the relationship early on because she was unwilling to compromise (bend) any for the relationship. I describe Monet as a woman who is good at putting  up a front, this hard exterior but is a marshmallow on the inside if Vaughan would have displayed an ounce of being all in Monet IMO would have bent over backwards for him/the relationship. Watching them was like oil and water they just didn't gel.

Oil and water?? How about chitlins at a bar mitzvah....LOL. I think when she realized how confused she was, was the beginning of the end for her, though it still could have been salvaged. I think that's when she had serious doubts. She even said, "when I give him space, he wants attention. When I give him attention he wants his space". The absolute death blow for Monet was when Vaughn said he was just trying to remain civil. At that moment Monet checked out for good.

I tend to agree with your assessment of Monet. She has a hard exterior at time, but I think beneath that she is quite vulnerable. Though I wonder if she would really bent over backwards for Vaughn. We now know what she truly meant when she said she wanted a more established man. Vaughn doesn't make enough money or have the potential to do so for her taste. At least that's what I got form her statement when Kevin Frazier pressed her on it.  

Chitlins LOL!!!!!!! I think she would have bent for him because she doesn't strike me as someone who just wants a status man who would keep her in diamonds and furs (high maintenances) I just didn't get that from her.... I understand her need for stability because we all want that.....Relationships at the start just shouldn't be as hard as it was for them, they said they were compatible in one area of the relationship, but I didn't see it.... I think I would have enjoyed each of them with different people but them together just wasn't enjoyable.....


 

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”

― Bernard M. Baruch
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