MAFS - Season 4 - Derek Schwartz - Heather Seidel

Linds911 wrote:^^ I zoned out on everything Derek and Heather so don't really recall if Derek and his friends actually said they were stoners or even did something that seems like they are. Is this really a fact or your guess? Just wondering.

I was about to ask the same question. I watched all the episodes and I don't remember hearing anything like that.

Neither Derek his friends or any media outlet have confirmed anyone is a stoner or that Heather isn't. Please use IMO otherwise posts will be deleted in the future. This forum will not take responsibility for incorrect information if that is the case.

Everything is speculation, and until Derek admits that was the issue and he has a problem, it's opinions, and not facts.

I think that Heather has been so heavily edited in every shot since the honeymoon that I have no idea what she said or thought - other than in her confessions. My impression is that she knew what she wanted and it was not Derek. I think that the producers have shown her to be whiny, drunk, and inconsiderate. Derek has been a sad sack and hurt and injured. Whatever it was that made her so uncomfortable and to recoil so strongly was not captured on tape for us to see. I would not even be able to say he was a nice guy because he comes across as an injured party which makes him an unreliable witness (IMO). And I suspect that the only reason Heather shows up to tape is because of contractual obligations. I am annoyed by the show, the producers, the experts, Derek and Heather - in that order. She is not blameless but I doubt that she is telling us what is really going on & I doubt that we will ever find out.

@Jackenzo IA!

This has turned out to be an uncomfortable situation for all concerned. My serious question is: do we really need to know each and every detail? Please don't shoot the messenger, but IMHO it is time to let these people go on with their lives without being subjected to endless gossip and inquiries.

I personally did not form a good opinion of Derek's friends. IMO it is super creepy to ask if a woman has a sister because if things didn't work out with Heather then Derek could have been with her sister instead. Who says that? It was disgusting, not remotely funny, and IMO showed that Derek and his friends view women as chattel.

I finally got to see the Tuesday episode. Perhaps I am a fool, perhaps not, but while I wish Dereck would forget about social media a bit, I can't help but feel he was in it for real and if Heather agreed, he would have tried to see if they could make a go of it. Maybe he is pandering for the camera and saying the "right" things, but I do think that he was genuinely all in, which is more than I can say I have felt about Heather. Even in the interview, IMO, she came across as angry and unapologetic for her feelings.

I am having that same thought too @nuts2uiam.

A person should be unapologetic for their feelings, IMO. I don't think she should have to apologize for being turned off by someone. What I find disturbing is that Derek is unapologetic for his behavior and poor treatment of others, IMO.

Haha. I wrote IMO, but for one reason or another, once was not considered enough. I'll try to do that, too.

IMO, Derek doesn't just smoke weed, he's into that 420 lifestyle. IMO he looked stoned in various scenes. For example, IMO he looked stoned during the wedding ceremony. IMO, his buddies act stoned or are otherwise social idiots --- morons. I say this because Derek and his friends act like stoners acted when I associated with stoners during Jr High School (wasn't called middle school back then), High School, College and until I stopped hanging around stoners and other losers (and I do consider middle aged men that smoke pot regularly losers, because I think they are). Further, I admit to smoking some pot back then, too, except I wasn't a stoner as I never embraced the 420 lifestyle.

IMO, Derek's "smoking" habit is what turned Heather off and this his abnormally erratic and angry behavior when putting down the pipe for the duration (until he was able to light up again) is when Heather decided absolutely no way and was, IMO, for her and any normal, well adjusted non-stoner, a deal breaker. Not a deal breaker to know him or be friends with him, but a deal breaker to be married to him.  

Nonetheless, IMO, if it wasn't Derek smoking an illegal substance, then it would have been something else that would have caused Heather to end the "experiment" after 10 short days. Heather referred to whatever it was as her standing up for her values. Even so, Heather hoped that, perhaps, she and Derek could become friends. IMO, pot smoking makes sense.

Jason referred to whatever it was, it wasn't just smoking, and I agree. An occasional smoker wouldn't have responded so offensively. IMO, our Derek wasn't just an occasional smoker. IMO the behavior we're talking about is resentment (along with withdrawal) that he couldn't continue what he loves (smoking pot) when looking for love.

Also, Derek is a rapper that has rapped about the 420 lifestyle and in one music video I watched, there was a blocked scene featuring Derek smoking a big fat cigarette that, IMO, didn't look like tobacco.

nuts2uiam wrote:I finally got to see the Tuesday episode. Perhaps I am a fool, perhaps not, but while I wish Dereck would forget about social media a bit, I can't help but feel he was in it for real and if Heather agreed, he would have tried to see if they could make a go of it.  Maybe he is pandering for the camera and saying the "right" things, but I do think that he was genuinely all in, which is more than I can say I have felt about Heather.  Even in the interview, IMO, she came across as angry and unapologetic for her feelings.

I totally agree with you. It clicked more when Heather said during Unfiltered that Derek would try to make it work with anyone but I want the one (I am paraphrasing). That was when I knew that Heather was the wrong person for this show and Derek was in for the right reason. IMO

Heather you did not give it a shot, hopefully you dont run again from someone else. Your heart was never in it from the get go. IMHO.