Becca Kufrin & Garrett Yrigoyen - Bachelorette 14 - Discussion

IMO the time when a person changes, a belief or trait, and that change sticks is when that person chooses to or self-initiates the change. IMO people who change most easily (or evolve) over a lifetime are open to new information and adapt as they engage in new experiences.
I think everyone changes to some degree. It’s part of maturity. This situation where Becca and Garrett have focused on different things related to the same situation probably plays out in other households as well. Definitely a TBC.

As I am listening to this podcast -- Rachel is so much more articulate than Becca. Becca seems to be talking in circles. The fact that Rachel is even talking to Becca about this and Garrett -- she has a lot more patience than many might give her credit for. I get that Becca is in a hard position, but it is her choice to be with Garrett. It's hard for me to feel a lot of empathy for her. Just because people meet on the Bachelor doesn't make their relationship above reproach. Rachel said that she would rather Garrett and others be blatantly racist than be "neutral". That feels powerful to me. IMO.

Yeah, Garrett’s such a big macho man he’s been living off of Becca’s Bachelorette earnings and fame and running errands and posing for lovey dovey pictures for a living for two years. 

He’s exactly who I always thought he was and I know she’s making a futile attempt to defend him but I still say, IMO Becca’s too smart to live her life with this albatross forever. She’ll get wise after he continually fails to secure steady employment and carry his own weight. After she finds she cannot grow and develop and optimize her opportunities within the little box his limited mind cannot expand beyond. 
Eventually, she’ll recover and get out of this mess but, first she has to come to terms with reality. I believe she will. All IMO.

I keep hearing about how smart Becca is all the time. Maybe she’s also dumb in love or simply with men. What’s her dating history like? Has she done this before, putting up with and for chitty men?

I’m not so sure of the in love situation with Garrett. I think she’s in major lust with him as that he does it for her and she likes that.

Not sure about her whole dating history but the one who showed up on the Bachelor Arie's season that she dated for a long time didn't seem like such a great catch imo.

bluwavz wrote:

"You have to admit that you made a choice to not see it. … A message what Garrett posted totally contradicts the movement that we’re trying to push forward. And to see so many people ‘like’ it … the thinking that Garrett has is a bigger problem.” https://t.co/3Ql6SgvWh8

— Us Weekly (@usweekly) June 9, 2020

https://twitter.com/usweekly/status/1270373677742391297?s=20

This, explains it all in a nutshell. Great recap.

If one is not racist, you wouldn't even dream of doing or saying anything remotely related to racism. (Like slipping the N word while singing a song, without giving it another thought) The fact that Becca has to have discussions and educate him, is a scary thought. I give her a lot of credit, personally I couldn't do it because if someone is racists it's going to take a heck of a lot of work to change their minds. The quickest way is for them to experience some of the social injustices other's have experienced over the last 100s of years.

It's been a couple of years since the famous like's and they are still discussing? Those kinds of discussions between couples, must be very difficult.

makeover wrote:Not sure about her whole dating history but the one who showed up on the Bachelor Arie's season that she dated for a long time didn't seem like such a great catch imo.

@makeover
I forgot about him but, now that you said that, I recall she had wasted six years on that goofdrop that showed up on Arie's season sooooooooo....

the only person you can change is yourself. it sounds like becca just needs to admit that he has some truly troubling views but she has decided to stay with him anyway. all this talk of conversations and he’s growing or whatever rings hollow. it doesn’t sound like she is being honest with herself and is consequently twisting herself into a pretzel trying to explain away his behavior. jmo

@GuardianAngel Thanks for posting the article covering essence of the interview. I haven't had time to listen to the podcast.

Garrett was raised differently than Becca and posts like these show those differences but his ignorance is really appalling! I hope that Garrett wants to change, for himself, rather than for Becca alone. If he becomes an EMT, he will have a lot of interaction with law enforcement and could be in a position to intervene in potentially violent activities. Education is never too late -

gabriele wrote:the only person you can change is yourself. it sounds like becca just needs to admit that he has some truly troubling views but she has decided to stay with him anyway. all this talk of conversations and he’s growing or whatever rings hollow. it doesn’t sound like she is being honest with herself and is consequently twisting herself into a pretzel trying to explain away his behavior. jmo

Agreed. She needs to remember she is NOT his mother, she is his girlfriend. And that he is a grown up, not a child. I'm not saying grown people can't learn but it's not her job to educate him or have conversations with him time and time again. I hate to say this, but I've always felt after the Arie incident, Becca is just happy to have someone love her so much like Garrett does. IMO.

Lots of info in the link. It sounds like her family was not happy.

“For those who are curious about my relationship with Garrett at this point, all I can say right now is that I don’t know,” she said. “I can’t give anything more than that. It’s something that we are trying to work through and discuss and do work on at home at this time and that’s where the work will remain and that’s really the best I can give you at this point.”

https://etcanada.com/news/657537/becca-kufrin-says-that-she-doesnt-know-where-her-relationship-with-garrett-yrigoyen-stands-after-his-controversial-post/

#Bachelor alum #BeccaKufrin says that she doesn’t know where her relationship with #GarrettYrigoyen stands after his controversial post https://t.co/VbMVYhPVlk pic.twitter.com/hSUTVnqhiA

— ET Canada (@ETCanada) June 17, 2020

https://people.com/tv/becca-kufrin-talks-her-relationship-with-garrett-yrigoyen-apologizes-to-rachel-lindsay/