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Cassie Randolph - Bachelor 23 - Discussion

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Post by Zaynab on Sat Sep 12, 2020 3:57 pm

Wasn’t there a Reddit post the day after or so when all of them unfollowed Colton,A source saying there was a bigger more serious reason why they unfollowed him. It’s been more than a month since then. I’ve read some comments on Facebook, saying it’s hard and you have to evidence in order to get a restraining order.
It’s also weird to me how Colton felt entightled for Cassie what she couldn’t do or say in terms of still wanting to associate with the bachelor. I’m not talking about them agreeing not to talk about their breakup but her not even being able to still want to associate with the show, even though I think she shouldn’t want to. As they don’t really care about her I’m sure.

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Post by blueblues on Sat Sep 12, 2020 7:09 pm

Someone on Reddit said that when you file for a restraining order to a court of law, you submit the supporting documentation under oath, under penalty of perjury.
Does anyone know if this is true?

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Post by charmaine on Sat Sep 12, 2020 10:33 pm

Yes, an application for a restraining order is filed under penalty of perjury,   Here's more than you probably want to know.

https://www.courts.ca.gov/1278.htm?rdeLocaleAttr=en


"...Still, a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest...." - Paul Simon

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Post by Astrobach on Sun Sep 13, 2020 12:26 am

Here is my two cents about this. Not very surprised by this turn of events regarding Colton. Although it’s sad that he has not been able to move on again, it does seem like the situation escalated and shows me that instead of learning and growing towards independence and autonomy, he is stuck in hanging on to Cassie for his emotional survival in a very unhealthy way.
Am I correct to remember that his parents divorced when he was a teenager ? I can see in his chart that it profoundly affected him and prevented him from developing and keeping healthy boundaries with others - especially women- as his emotional side was not nurtured sufficiently and makes him clutch stubbornly to what he sees as his emotional security blanket. He needs a lot of constant validation to balance the insecurities that were never really understood and healed it seems. We all saw how his emotions were really strong at the onset of breakups, - Becca, Tia and now Cassie. His moon squaring Saturn are going to be an issue until he faces the music and does the inner work necessary to fortify his own emotional balance so that he can be a more authentic partner that is able to love ‘ the other’ not just for ‘ himself’ or his own needs to fulfill.

In terms of Cassie, she was wise and brave to resort to legal action to protect herself despite the risk of making matters worse at least in the beginning. Colton is undoubtedly feeling betrayed and his pride took a big hit with this TRO no matter if he felt he deserved it or not. The danger is that it makes him even more angry that she involved the legal system after she dared to leave him and that he would seek some form of revenge. Everyone is saying they pray for Cassie and her family, and that’s obvious; but for me HE is the one that needs support and guidance the most and he is gonna feel lost without any of that tightly around him. The next few months are not getting easier for him with Pluto transiting many of his personal planets.
Hoping this calms down with distance and family support.
JMOAA
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Post by Amethyst on Sun Sep 13, 2020 1:18 pm

@Astrobach wrote:Here is my two cents about this. Not very surprised by this turn of events regarding Colton. Although it’s sad that he has not been able to move on again, it does seem like the situation escalated and shows me that instead of learning and growing towards independence and autonomy, he is stuck in hanging on to Cassie for his emotional survival in a very unhealthy way.
Am I correct to remember that his parents divorced when he was a teenager ? I can see in his chart that it profoundly affected him and prevented him from developing and keeping healthy boundaries with others - especially women- as his emotional side was not nurtured sufficiently and makes him clutch stubbornly to what he sees as his emotional security blanket. He needs a lot of constant validation to balance the insecurities that were never really understood and healed it seems. We all saw how his emotions were really strong at the onset of breakups, - Becca, Tia and now Cassie. His moon squaring Saturn are going to be an issue until he faces the music and does the inner work necessary to fortify his own emotional balance so that he can be a more authentic partner that is able to love ‘ the other’ not just for ‘ himself’ or his own needs to fulfill.

In terms of Cassie, she was wise and brave to resort to legal action to protect herself despite the risk of making matters worse at least in the beginning. Colton is undoubtedly feeling betrayed and his pride took a big hit with this TRO no matter if he felt he deserved it or not. The danger is that it makes him even more angry that she involved the legal system after she dared to leave him and that he would seek some form of revenge. Everyone is saying they pray for Cassie and her family, and that’s obvious; but for me HE is the one that needs support and guidance the most and he is gonna feel lost without any of that tightly around him. The next few months are not getting easier for him with Pluto transiting many of his personal planets.
Hoping this calms down with distance and family support.
JMOAA

I'm going to play armchair psychologist here. IMO Colton may still be dealing with the aftermath of a previous trauma (could be a parental divorce, or other family trauma.) On some level, he doesn't feel lovable, so he unconsciously went after a woman who couldn't love him back. IMO he is playing out a previous perceived rejection, and this is fueling his obsession -- Cassie has become "the hill he's willing to die on." But at the same time, she's rejecting him, which on some level he feels he deserves.

IMO he needs professional counseling to get this sorted out, or he may end up being emotionally stuck and unable to move on. He may not have the emotional skills or self esteem needed to form a healthy, supportive, loving relationship.
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Post by Norcalgal on Sun Sep 13, 2020 5:17 pm

@Astrobach @Amethyst Very interesting opinions. While Colton has so much going for him, there is a fatal 'flaw' that is inhibiting his success. I wish him well as I don't believe he is a 'bad' person - just one who needs self-love and understanding.


Been watching this crap show like forever
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Post by leavers on Sun Sep 13, 2020 6:38 pm

@Amethyst wrote:
@Astrobach wrote:Here is my two cents about this. Not very surprised by this turn of events regarding Colton. Although it’s sad that he has not been able to move on again, it does seem like the situation escalated and shows me that instead of learning and growing towards independence and autonomy, he is stuck in hanging on to Cassie for his emotional survival in a very unhealthy way.
Am I correct to remember that his parents divorced when he was a teenager ? I can see in his chart that it profoundly affected him and prevented him from developing and keeping healthy boundaries with others - especially women- as his emotional side was not nurtured sufficiently and makes him clutch stubbornly to what he sees as his emotional security blanket. He needs a lot of constant validation to balance the insecurities that were never really understood and healed it seems. We all saw how his emotions were really strong at the onset of breakups, - Becca, Tia and now Cassie. His moon squaring Saturn are going to be an issue until he faces the music and does the inner work necessary to fortify his own emotional balance so that he can be a more authentic partner that is able to love ‘ the other’ not just for ‘ himself’ or his own needs to fulfill.

In terms of Cassie, she was wise and brave to resort to legal action to protect herself despite the risk of making matters worse at least in the beginning. Colton is undoubtedly feeling betrayed and his pride took a big hit with this TRO no matter if he felt he deserved it or not. The danger is that it makes him even more angry that she involved the legal system after she dared to leave him and that he would seek some form of revenge. Everyone is saying they pray for Cassie and her family, and that’s obvious; but for me HE is the one that needs support and guidance the most and he is gonna feel lost without any of that tightly around him. The next few months are not getting easier for him with Pluto transiting many of his personal planets.
Hoping this calms down with distance and family support.
JMOAA

I'm going to play armchair psychologist here. IMO Colton may still be dealing with the aftermath of a previous trauma (could be a parental divorce, or other family trauma.) On some level, he doesn't feel lovable, so he unconsciously went after a woman who couldn't love him back. IMO he is playing out a previous perceived rejection, and this is fueling his obsession -- Cassie has become "the hill he's willing to die on." But at the same time, she's rejecting him, which on some level he feels he deserves.

IMO he needs professional counseling to get this sorted out, or he may end up being emotionally stuck and unable to move on. He may not have the emotional skills or self esteem needed to form a healthy, supportive, loving relationship.

I’m not sure if you’ve seen pics of Colton in high school. I’m not body shaming but he wasn’t exactly cut. He was kind of overweight and I can imagine if he didn’t have confidence in himself then it wouldn’t surprise me if a lot of his virginity was self-imposed and not just related to religion. I do think he probably has ongoing self-esteem issues and Cassie being his first probably brings out the kind of feelings other people deal with at a much younger age. While I’m 100% believing Cassie and believe he did this stuff to her I don’t think he’s irredeemable and hope he gets help.
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Post by gabriele on Sun Sep 13, 2020 6:46 pm

Good info to know:

Stalking can be physical and/or digital, and could include tactics such as:

making repeated and unwanted phone calls or texts
sending unwanted letters or emails
following or spying on you
showing up wherever you are without a legitimate reason to be there
driving by or waiting around at places (home, work, school, etc) you frequent
leaving/sending unwanted items, presents, or flowers for you to find
posting information or spreading rumors about you on the internet, in a public place, or by word of mouth
looking through your property (including trash cans, your mail, or your car)
taking your property
collecting information about you
taking pictures of you  
damaging your home, car, or other property
monitoring your phone calls, email, social media, or other computer use
using technology, like hidden cameras or GPS, to track you
threatening to hurt you, your family, friends, or pets
finding out information by using public records or online search services, hiring investigators
contacting friends, family, neighbors, or co-workers about you  
This list is not inclusive of every behavior that a stalker might use, as stalking tactics will be targeted towards what will impact the intended victim the most. Threats of violence may be implicit or explicit. Remember, even if the stalker’s behaviors are not considered illegal in your state, their behavior is still abusive and there is nothing that you could ever say or do to deserve to be treated in that way. Stalking is never your fault; it is a tactic the abuser is using to intimidate and frighten you so they can (re)gain power and control over you. Link

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Post by albean99 on Sun Sep 13, 2020 9:22 pm

That is very good info, @gabriele. It’s scary to think about but you hear of these things happening to women all the time. This is an old one but anyone remember the young actress from Poltergeist, Dominique Dunn? Her ex bf stalked and killed her. I’m not saying that Colton is like him or would do anything like that but her case always pops in my head when I hear things like this. I hope that Colton uses this as a wake up call and moves on. Source


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Post by Hawaii Girl on Sun Sep 13, 2020 10:32 pm

RS said on his live that Cassie was granted a TRO against Colton ahead of the hearing. October 6th is when a judge will determine if a permanent RO will be granted.

The fact that she was given a TRO says a lot about the amount of evidence she had. I don't think some people (not on here, mostly IG comments) understand how often women are denied or not taken seriously when seeking protection.
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Post by gabriele on Sun Sep 13, 2020 11:46 pm

@albean99 wrote:That is very good info, @gabriele. It’s scary to think about but you hear of these things happening to women all the time. This is an old one but anyone remember the young actress from Poltergeist, Dominique Dunn? Her ex bf stalked and killed her. I’m not saying that Colton is like him or would do anything like that but her case always pops in my head when I hear things like this. I hope that Colton uses this as a wake up call and moves on. Source
I was looking up info on stalking and domestic violence because Cassie’s TRO was for domestic violence prevention. It’s all quite serious.

While Colton would likely benefit from therapy I think it’s important to remember that the vast majority of people who experience trauma do not stalk their exes. What Colton needs is to understand that he has to respect Cassie’s boundaries and that she is not his possession. He really needs to deal with his completely inappropriate behavior before he does anything else. I know some of you watched his season and probably have fond feelings for him but this is serious. jmo

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Post by sosleepy on Mon Sep 14, 2020 1:14 am

Not gonna lie. A little shocked at people making excuses for Colton here.

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