Bachelor 19 - Kelsey Poe - Discussion

I just watched the episode and she totally freaked me out! :shocked!:

MiaHawk wrote:The following is merely my personal opinion.

A story is made up of many pages.  Each page is filled with words.  Is a word on page 100 more valuable than a word on page 1?  I don't think so.  It takes all the words combined to complete the story.  

The same goes for a life lived.  It is the sum of years, days, and moments lived.  Let's face it, a person's life story isn't ever complete until they're in the ground. You are growing and evolving hopefully til the moment of your last breath. Should noone speak of themselves, their experiences, their life along the way?  Until some predetermined number of days have been checked off on a calendar?

Also, I personally have no problem with people discussing loss, death, tragedies.  From the beginning of time, that's what people have done.  If not so, then William Shakespeare would never have had even one of his plays performed, Plays like Rent would never be smash hits in modern day, and movies like Terms of Endearment or Last Tango in Paris would not have made a dime. Telling tragic stories is what we do as a people. And, I for one, am happy to live in a world where people are free to share their personal stories, tragic or otherwise, because I am somebody who is always curious about others. But then again, I'm not much of a sports fan, so I tune that kind of jibberish out.  To each their own, I suppose.

**edited**.. so Mia, thanks for responding, because I love reading your thoughts and you're absolutely right ... there is no timetable prearranged of how many days have to pass to be able to talk, move on, start dating again, get married again .... no, I believe in "let people find their own way" ... and since we are not the same and our paths are not the same no matter how similar some facts might be ... each takes its own tool.

That said ... I don't back away from the words I've written. I've read around the web, seen some other stuff that Kelsey wrote and how she is expressing herself and frankly, she is full of it. The way she is wording and telling her story it's just as over the top as Britt's facial expressions of excitement. And considering Kelsey is very good with words, very good, she knows what she is saying, it doesn't just come out innocently, she's there with a purpose like her facebook page description ... she's a WRITER.
She's writing her poetic tragic story, where she is perfectly innocent victim of tragedy, who finds hers strength and puts a smile on her face everyday.
The problem is ... we've seen how she knows to fake smile also.
So I question her survival story so much more. And she is overkilling it.

But you're right Mia ... each of us has a chance and a possibility to tell their own story. No one should deny their right to do so.
I guess it's my fault. I should just switch off the program if I can't handle the BS (what I would call it) that someone wants to sell it to me as a highly spiritual inspirational story. (PS.: I actually love reading inspirational stories, since my favorite are autobiographical stories and I'm thankful to some self-help/positive thinking books)

eirekay
- I'm agreeing with you also: very type A personality (which doesn't bother me at all, as long they don't start judging and criticizing everyone around for not meeting their standards - and BTW, I am just like that at times, so I'm not putting myself above all, guilty just the same)

happygolucky wrote:

MiaHawk wrote:The following is merely my personal opinion.

A story is made up of many pages.  Each page is filled with words.  Is a word on page 100 more valuable than a word on page 1?  I don't think so.  It takes all the words combined to complete the story.  

The same goes for a life lived.  It is the sum of years, days, and moments lived.  Let's face it, a person's life story isn't ever complete until they're in the ground. You are growing and evolving hopefully til the moment of your last breath. Should noone speak of themselves, their experiences, their life along the way?  Until some predetermined number of days have been checked off on a calendar?

Also, I personally have no problem with people discussing loss, death, tragedies.  From the beginning of time, that's what people have done.  If not so, then William Shakespeare would never have had even one of his plays performed, Plays like Rent would never be smash hits in modern day, and movies like Terms of Endearment or Last Tango in Paris would not have made a dime. Telling tragic stories is what we do as a people. And, I for one, am happy to live in a world where people are free to share their personal stories, tragic or otherwise, because I am somebody who is always curious about others. But then again, I'm not much of a sports fan, so I tune that kind of jibberish out.  To each their own, I suppose.

I can only guess that my "please shut up" made an effect .... so Mia, thanks for responding, because I love reading your thoughts and you're absolutely right ... there is no timetable prearranged of how many days have to pass to be able to talk, move on, start dating again, get married again .... no, I believe in "let people find their own way" ... and since we are not the same and our paths are not the same no matter how similar some facts might be ... each takes its own tool.

That said ... I don't back away from the words I've written. I've read around the web, seen some other stuff that Kelsey wrote and how she is expressing herself and frankly, she is full of it. The way she is wording and telling her story it's just as over the top as Britt's facial expressions of excitement. And considering Kelsey is very good with words, very good, she knows what she is saying, it doesn't just come out innocently, she's there with a purpose like her facebook page description ... she's a WRITER.
She's writing her poetic tragic story, where she is perfectly innocent victim of tragedy, who finds hers strength and puts a smile on her face everyday.
The problem is ... we've seen how she knows to fake smile also.
So I question her survival story so much more. And she is overkilling it.

But you're right Mia ... each of us has a chance and a possibility to tell their own story. No one should deny their right to do so.
I guess it's my fault. I should just switch off the program if I can't handle the BS (what I would call it) that someone wants to sell it to me as a highly spiritual inspirational story. (PS.: I actually love reading inspirational stories, since my favorite are autobiographical stories and I'm thankful to some self-help/positive thinking books)

eirekay
- I'm agreeing with you also: very type A personality (which doesn't bother me at all, as long they don't start judging and criticizing everyone around for not meeting their standards - and BTW, I am just like that at times, so I'm not putting myself above all, guilty just the same)

The thing is that I don't care for Kelsey either. Her behaviors appear to be arrogant, condescending, cunning, and manipulative. I'm just searching for alternative ways to understand her, to look at her from a different perspective.

Like Eirekay, I tend to cut a 27 year old, stunned, grieving widow a little slack when she sits down to write her husband's obituary (that reads more like a eulogy that an obit). Sometimes in times of shock and disbelief (like when someone you love suddenly drops dead at a young age with no warning), you grasp onto the things you do know and the life you did understand (that he was your loving husband and that he stood by and shared in your accomplishments). Again, these are all things that are perfectly acceptable to say in a service's eulogy when loved ones stand up and talk about the deceased and their relationship. Yes, the obituary was unconventional. And at first or second or third read, appears to focus more on Kelsey and Sanderson as if they were one unit, but I think that's how she has described him and their marriage in clips on TB too. Also, from a practical point, when you have to pay large fees to put an obituary in a local paper (and they can cost a lot) based on how lengthy they are, perhaps she felt it more important to describe him as her loving and supporting partner than to list a bunch of facts from his childhood. Yes, listing her graduation school and degree used up words (and money) but perhaps it was what she could mentally process at the time as being real versus surreal. Just some food for thought. She may possibly be the most narcissistic woman on Earth, but maybe there are other explainations, too. Just trying to make for a discussion, for those that care to discuss.

Happygolucky, If I weren't an old time veteran of this show and of this board, I might have been personally offended by your statement that Kelsey, her sister, and "everyone else" should refrain from telling stories of tragic events and of survival and JSU. Afterall, just pages before that I shared my own family's very personal story. I am confident that your anger and frustration is focused on contestants on this tv show that we discuss here. But, again, as a matter of principle I support t he right of anyone anywhere to share their stories. The onus is on them to tell them in a way in which people will relate and care.

Peace.
Mia

One of the reasons we ask posts not be too long in length is because we read every single post, and at times we are on a time constraints and miss things.

The subject post has been edited. It's never ok to advise what people should or shouldn't post.

Apologies to anyone who was offended.

TY

GuardianAngel wrote:One of the reasons we ask posts not be too long in length is because we read every single post, and at times we are on a time constraints and miss things.

The subject post has been edited. It's never ok to advise what people should or shouldn't post.

Apologies to anyone who was offended.

TY

For the record I wasn't offended because I could read between the lines and figured that the frustration was focused on the show and not members here or their posts.

And I apologize (retroactively) for all of my very lengthy posts. Brevity is a virtue that I struggle with.

No need to apologize.

It was my excuse for missing it. Often times I will "skim" over a post so we can get through them all. That's why it was missed.

Carry on.

Oh .. OK, first I didn't get it.
I'm sorry Mia that I made you feel that way. It wasn't intended for you at all. I only read your post later, since I came here to write my "frustration" before reading previous pages.  
I realized reading someone else's post that you talked about your experience and when I finally saw it, I felt it might cause a problem that it was directed at you or anyone on this forum, but it really wasn't. I keep falling in the same trap, when I generalize.

I mostly have problem with certain attitude of similar narrative, that I explained in my controversial post, that public personas (celebrities) use to sell their image and exalt themselves. If I'm explaining myself any better ... what I meant with everyone. I don't like this kind of stories to be used to "play a game of winning" on this show (the same way I felt about Juelia's story being aired).
I'll stop now so I don't make a bigger mess.

And apologies for a thousand times to G-Angel for putting you in this position - and for confusing the author's name of the "quote" - Eirekay ... in a hurry I really don't know what the h*** I saw.

Yeah, I will raise my hand at skimming long posts and being guilty! 

Kashathediva wrote:Yeah, I will raise my hand at skimming long posts and being guilty! 

What in the world are we gonna do with moderators who skim posts? Lord knows we pay you enough that you could read all of these posts in their entirety. Maybe we should deduct your pay....

Kashathediva wrote:Yeah, I will raise my hand at skimming long posts and being guilty! 

me too ... my reason, plain and simple... I'm lazy

I think we're all pretty much on the same page, just wording it different.

For me, it's not about the fact that Kelsey has a sad story, (and I sincerely think she does) it's how she's telling it, and what she hopes to gain from it.

There's been lot's of sad stories told by the leads and other contestants - Chris Lambton comes to mind immediately as the perfect example - but they were told with class and respect. They weren't told dramatically to advance, they were told to explain who they were. My objection to Kelsey, as I've stated previously, is the manner in which she's using it to gain sympathy to get a stinkin' rose! I got the impression that she thought she had F1 position all wrapped up after she left his room. She seemed to almost be hinting at the pre rose cocktail party (that never was) that he was having a hard time going forward with the season now that she talked to him!! talk about being arrogant..... even Britt has her doubts, even though she truly is the front runner at this point in time.

I've seen the 2/1 date preview and I noticed that tptb are still not letting up on her, so she can expect another week of harsh words I'm sure.

Rolly wrote:

Kashathediva wrote:Yeah, I will raise my hand at skimming long posts and being guilty! 

What in the world are we gonna do with moderators who skim posts? Lord knows we pay you enough that you could read all of these posts in their entirety.    Maybe we should deduct your pay....

We know exactly what posts to scrutinize! 
Magic 8 ball tells us so! 

Here's my deal with Kelsey - she's the brittle perfectionist I would have been if I hadn't had my own mini-crisis in College. In the space of a couple of years I lost my brother to cancer, my father to alcohol and my mother to her grief. My parents divorced mid-way through my freshmen yr of college - I was at the Sorbonne in Paris - a hard won prize - and I had to leave at the end of the second semester because neither parent would help cover the remaining tuition on my partial scholarship. They were feuding over money for 5 years. I ended up working my way through college 40 hours a week as a hotel desk clerk while carrying 15 units per semester. My grades suffered, I graduated a year late, and I was absolutely mortified.

Thank God that happened. It taught me to be realistic, accept my limitations and be patient with others. I'm still type A but I now cut myself some slack. I totally get Kelsey - wouldn't want to be her but I totally understand that need to present a perfect veneer.