Ben Higgins - Lauren Bushnell - Bachelor 20 - Discussion - #4

bleuberry wrote:I think there *is* love but they may not express it like we're used to seeing. Neither of them are passionate or excited people IMO.

Maybe this is fair to say but I think Ben's hesitation comes from wanting the "more." His whole tantrum at Jos atfr shows that nicely IMO. He wanted her to turn to him and tell him that he's the bestest boy ever blahblah, lala, and she couldn't and wouldn't. 

@sosleepy, IMO, yeah I'm sure there are moments of excitement and feelings of some type of love after having sex for months, living together and telling everyone and their mom "this is the ONE," but on a macro level, I don't see "it" and quite frankly neither do they IMO.

As for the bear and whatnot, yeah, I don't think Lauren thought he was going to get eaten by a bear. Just more acting and bs'ing imo.

Does Ben still have a job? I think he is confused and unsettled. I think he is home with Mama so she can help him figure out what he needs to do. Lauren has shown a lot more initiative IMO. It may be photo shoots and selling products on the Internet, but at least she seems busy.

Mgrissom wrote:Does Ben still have a job?  I think he is confused and unsettled. I think he is home with Mama so she can help him figure out what he needs to do. Lauren has shown a lot more initiative IMO. It may be photo shoots and selling products on the Internet, but at least she seems busy.

LOL! While I don't think he's home right now so Mama H can help him sort it out, I definitely think he's a little lost and needs some direction. I think he's struggled (like most ex leads do) to find a nitch post Bachelor. And totally agree, some may snark on her for it, but Lauren found something and she keeps busy. I'd wager she's pulling in more income than he is at this point. I bet his lack of direction for a guy that generally seems to crave purpose accounts for a lot of his insecurities and unreadiness. Just my total speculation.

Personally, I saw that Ben was infatuated with Lauren from the beginning, which is fine and dandy because that's usually how relationships start off, but I never saw that progress to a deeper level from either of them or from what was at least shown on the show. We know how many times Lauren said "Bennnn like you are my dreammm guy." That was rare for me because as silly as this show is, I usually see some depth to the final couple.

I'm sure they love and care for each other as they've been together for a year. Relationships take work, but I do find it funny that in an article I read on the board from the end of November Ben was saying he and Lauren still have communication issues that they're working through a year later. All JMO

LOL I think if you talk to most couples they will tell you they have ongoing communication issues they are working on--like forever. It's life.
I don't know how significant theirs is or isn't, but they aren't alone I bet.

Kashathediva wrote:LOL I think if you talk to most couples they will tell you they have ongoing communication issues they are working on--like forever. It's life.
I don't know how significant theirs is or isn't, but they aren't alone I bet.

True that. At least B&L have been open and honest about their communication issues, whatever they may be, and were (are?) attempting to correct these issues in an adult and respectful manner. Way preferable to me than whitewashing perfect, happy couple all over insta. One year isn't a long time. Sean and Cat had a lot of issues that first year AND their first year married. I appreciated their honesty too, actually. Any new relationship is an adjustment, especially one that goes 0-60. I'm going on a limb here and saying most of these couples have on going communication to work through, especially given how they started. That's life. Being in a relationship takes maintenance and care.

Yes, I agree. Being in any relationship is fluid and takes work. There really is only one couple I don't care for, but they make it work on their level. Good for them.
And then again, what works at one time, may eventually lead to not working. At my stage of life, I am still surprised at couples who choose to split after 30+ yrs of marriage.

Well yeah, any couple will have their issues and relationships take work, which is what I stated, but IMO perhaps their issues wouldn't be as bad if they didn't do the ridiculousness of their show that they did all summer.

We don't know the reason they are spending Christmas apart, if they are, who knows Ben and the Higgins could totally surprise the bushells and show up at their door. Probably not, but the point is we just don't know. And it's fun to speculate both sides. Not just the "they're not spending Christmas together so they must not be in passionate love with one another or each other's priorities." Maybe Ben is being less selfish here knowing that Lauren would be happiest w her family and told her he'd fulfill his family obligation and then meet up with her. They both have grandparents getting up there in age, there could be numerous reasons they each wanted to be with their families on that specific day. I personally like that one didn't have to ditch their family... why does the love of Spouse have to be bigger and better than the love of family. I think why I like Ben and Lauren so much post show was their interactions w family. How they commingled, parents became friends and they found a healthy compromise unlike MM and Josh. They were setting up a good foundation for families who come from different parts of the country.


It's amazing how we see things differently. The way they look at each other, from their first date to the end of HEA, the little things, that's love to me. And I see it in probably alll the couples still together today from this franchise. Some 100 word instagram anniversary post for the world to see is not. They're not over the top and in your face, and that's what's always drawn me to them.

That is one of the great things about discussion threads, imo, all the different points of view.

*******EDITED*****  Lauren is currently filming a commercial for Alaska Airlines. You can see bts photos in @alaskaair IG stories.

What conclusions are we jumping to? Tia.