Nick Viall - Bachelor 21 - Episode 7 Feb 13 - *Sleuthing Spoilers*

lleyki wrote:A little personal story and bare with me because I'm going somewhere with this. I'm an introvert. It takes me awhile to warm up to people I've just met. As a result, I'm often wary of new people and tend to stick to myself until I warm up to them.

When I started a new job some years ago, I was always polite, but didn't engage in lunch time gossip and chatter and just quietly did what I had to do. When it came time for my review, my boss said that after talking to everyone, the response was that I was unapproachable, unfriendly and basically unlikable. Oh and I could tell there was a lot of whispering about me.

Someone who spoke to these people would say that almost everyone had a problem with me so clearly they couldn't all be wrong or clearly there was an issue. Except again, I had never said a single rude and unkind thing to anyone. Oh and yes, sadly to say, they were all women.

Here's my point, I have never bought into the notion that if everyone has an issue with someone then "well clearly there may be something wrong with that person". Sure there are instances where that is the case. But sometimes it isn't because sometimes, as human beings we are prone to cliquish behavior and group think.

Now I'm not saying that is what's happening here because that's just it, none of us knows what really happened. It's a lot of speculation, "wink, wink, nudge, nudge" comments, a lot of hearsay, a lot of commenting on things while refusing to be specific, etc. Me personally, I don't dislike any of these people. I do think some behavior has been slightly petty but whatever.

At the end of the day for me it's simply this. These people were all strangers, thrown into a weird and let's just be honest, frankly creepy situation. It's a twisted environment meant to breed drama, insecurity, jealousy, etc. In that environment of being total strangers to each other, they were all competing for one man. Nothing about this is normal. Nothing about it is reasonable. So if some unreasonable and not so great behavior and personality came out during it, I don't judge any of them for that.

However, they're now all out of the hamster wheel experience. There's no more manipulative handlers whispering into their ears and being cut off from family, friends and loved ones and more importantly, no more delusionally believing they're in love with Nick. In other words, no excuse for any questionable behavior.

So in other words, I judge actions after the show. And again, while I have seen some stuff I think is side-eye worthy and petty, I haven't seen anything to make me truly dislike anyone. Do I think people should move on, sure but I'll give some allowance to the fact that the show is currently airing so they're being asked about things.

But the point is, all I have seen from Vanessa post show is a woman who is living her life...period. She loves her family, her job and seems to quietly be going about her life. So I'm not interested in all the hearsay and gossip and wink, wink, nudge, nudge and the idea that well she clearly rubbed so many the wrong way, so that's telling. I don't agree.

I have seen nothing wrong with Vanessa and until such time as I do, I think some of the judgement against her have been unfair. And I especially think the constant bitch refrains that seem to suddenly be the thing on social media, is really unfair and out of line, IMO.

northernviewer wrote:I find it so amaziing that we're all watching the same show and see things so differently...conclusion....its all point of view ...not point in fact

GuardianAngel wrote:I liked her until she was being let go. Her snarky "you didn't give me a chance" changed my perception of her. Now the last few days, she's coming across very immature IMHO. SM games that teenagers play is not a good look IMO.