Rebecca (Becca) Kufrin - *Sleuthing Spoilers*

pbmax wrote:Well she will get a chance to see whether it is or not, she'll get to see through his eyes and maybe understand where he's coming from.

Especially if she gets to the end and finds herself incredibly drawn to 2 great but very different men and has to grapple with the decision and hope she makes the right one, a decision that has to be made very quickly with the time frame.    I do think most of the leads struggle unless they absolutely are sure and only have feelings for the F1.  

Does not mean what Arie did was okay but she would at least have an understanding of what it is like to be in that position.  Right now she has got to be looking at him as nothing but a selfish douche who should have known what he wanted.  Until you are faced that type of decision it could be hard to understand.

I'm sorry but it honestly sounds like some of ya'll think this woman needs to be taught a lesson because she may have been upset with her fiance who dumped her for another woman. Like how dare she?

bluwavz wrote:I'm sorry but it honestly sounds like some of ya'll think this woman needs to be taught a lesson because she may have been upset with her fiance who dumped her for another woman. Like how dare she?

I would love to see the reaction if a female lead ever pulled anything so stupid and insensitive. She would be crucified.

Of course those who go on to be lead can see it from a different perspective but it doesn't make it any more right on the current show, imo.

I like Becca but it's a tough gig so I'm sure she wouldn't be perfect. I don't expect that but I do want to see empathy in my leads. The thing I like about the Bachelorette (other than the guys), is that the women tend not to get so full of themselves like the Bachelors often do. JMO of course.

So agree with the last few posts.

I can't root for a female to fail or be torn apart to prop up any male.  Let alone one that is IMO indecisive (no matter how many times he says he's decisive) and hasn't been able to settle down into a monogamous, long term relationship in years.

Regardless of how we here view the engagements on the show, we do not know how serious she may have taken it.  If she feels hurt and needs to be sad, then she has every right to be, IMO.  IMO most people IRL would be after a broken engagement.  

She's done nothing so far IMO to be nasty or negative to/towards Arie.  If she becomes overly negative and rude after then I'll be happy to call her on her own actions at that point.  Caroline's comments to Arie at the WTA are on Caroline.  We don't know if she wanted or needed Caroline to go to battle for her.  But IMO real friends often do whether we need them to or not.  

JMO

I give her a lot of credit so far as to how she’s handled herself. I truly believe, and it’s just my opinion, that she flew from Vegas to LA for what she thought was a safe house visit and got blindsided. We’ll have to wait and see, but the evidence points to that. Now do I think she thought they were perfect and no issues, absolutely not. I’m sure she was even questioning her own feelings. But I do believe she thought they’d try and make it work. That’s what you assume when you’re engaged.

After the switch, she was silent, came back and has been nothing but positive on social media. I respect that. She’s by no means infalliable to me as a fan, and I even think she got lost in the bachelor bubble. But she’s been relatable and I really like her backstory and the type of person she remains after all of that. She deserves to find a great guy, and selfishly I’d just like to get to watch. She’s not above what the producers will put her through. But I think no mattter what she’ll remain the down to earth Midwest girl, that mentions she smells like a bowling ball, that many will relate to and cheer for.

I will defend my girlfriends more fiercely than I defend myself. I am very protective of those I love.

As for Becca, she has not been acting badly. No melancholy posts, nothing showing she is sad. She has just kept posting cute and funny stuff from the season.

Picking on a person who isn't even fighting back borders on bullying to me, and if that was my friend being putdown to build up someone else, I might speak out for her too. Just saying.

All is JMO.

I'm not @pbmax but I understood her point that if Becca was the lead and she found herself in that position, perhaps she would understand the difficulty in choosing between two people.

We have heard many times the lead compliments the previous lead because of how difficult it is to be in the lead's position.

If Becca found herself falling for two people, perhaps she would understand, who's to say she wasn't very understanding. I did not take it to mean that she was wishing her any ill will to beef up Arie.

I'm not beefing him up, I'm trying to sleuth and understand how the switch happened.

If Lauren agreed to give the relationship a try, IMO there must be valid feelings on her part. She is the one who will have to be understanding of Arie's actions.

Becca appears to have moved on as they all do which is a good thing.

I don’t see it as Becca understanding or empathizing with Arie if she’s TBette. It’s about if Arie was being decent about it and not going behind her back to scope out Lauren’s IG and starting up some sort of connection with her. IF that’s what Arie did, would he think it was okay if tables were turned? If Becca was blindsided , is there an excuse in this? Especially if some of his other girls feel it’s his trademark .  It’s not about loving two people  in this situation . It’s about how did you go about ending one to explore the other . If the two intersected , similar to having an affair , there is an innocent party and a guilty one. Jmo

So I have read your posts and it is something for me to think about more closely. I think you all make very good points.

GuardianAngel wrote:I'm not @pbmax but I understood her point that if Becca was the lead and she found herself in that position, perhaps she would understand the difficulty in choosing between two people.

We have heard many times the lead compliments the previous lead because of how difficult it is to be in the lead's position.

If Becca found herself falling for two people, perhaps she would understand, who's to say she wasn't very understanding. I did not take it to mean that she was wishing her any ill will to beef up Arie.

I'm not beefing him up, I'm trying to sleuth and understand how the switch happened.

If Lauren agreed to give the relationship a try, IMO there must be valid feelings on her part. She is the one who will have to be understanding of Arie's actions.

Becca appears to have moved on as they all do which is a good thing.

I just feel frustrated sometimes because a lot of the speculation and theories here honestly do feel like an attempt to make Arie less responsible for his own actions when in reality this whole switcharoo really isn't OOC for him IMO. I don't think he needed to be manipulated by TPTB for it to happen. If there was any season where another switch was going to happen it was going to be Arie's season. JMO.

I know Arie liked Lauren's IG posts. I don't know that he went behind Becca's back for anything else. Anyone can see if someone liked a post. I believe someone posted, I forget who that RS said Becca knew there were problems. I don't know when he told Becca he didn't think it would work out. I don't know if Becca felt there were problems and decided they should end it. I don't know that they were engaged and maybe decided to date. Maybe Arie told Becca it wasn't going to work because he has feelings for Lauren.

There are a lot of things I don't know, so I can't label him a cheater, going behind anyone's back or anything else at this point.

To me, he changed his mind very early, three weeks after filming. How he went about that, IDK.