Becca Kufrin & Garrett Yrigoyen - Bachelorette 14 - Discussion

The absolute beauty and joy for me about this time in history is the international, multi-ethnic, multi-generational, multi-faith voices and minds that have come together as they have been severely and strategically manipulated NOT TO DO. The past few years have been difficult but, it feels so wonderful to see that evil has NOT won. To know that at our core as Americans, we are not totally divided as designed but, unified and powerful and largely aligned. 
It must be disappointing to our enemies - both internal and external to see their hard work has not worked because we have millions and millions, especially among our young citizenry who are too smart to fall for it. 
My prayer now is that this brutal virus will not take any of the people we need to continue to dig us out of this dark time and lead us into a brighter future.
I am excited and hopeful and loving this safe place to discuss it with all kinds of smart people.  

I would hope that the tone deaf, UN-woke Garretts of the world would continue to be largely marginalized as they attempt to change the narrative. 
All IMO.

@leavers

I really like how Bekah countered it by making a donation in Garrett's name to a police reform cause.

pavalygurl wrote:@leavers

I really like how Bekah countered it by making a donation in Garrett's name to a police reform cause.

@pavalygurl
That's a perfect response. That is a smart girl, for sure.

I just hope any Beccett fans who came hard for Hannah are putting some of that energy toward criticizing Garrett's actions as well.

Idlemess wrote:snipped..
If anyone wants to or have the time, listen to Jane Elliott (White woman/ teacher) who did the blue eye brown eye experiment. What she says is an eye opener for white people.

I came across that the other day. It was such an eye opener and a brilliant experiment.

My pup who will be 14 yrs old this year has mellowed in the last few years. He is not crazy about some other pups and shows his displeasure by giving little growls. I always say, "he doesn't have social skills" as a joke.

This is how I see Garret. He's like a 10 year old who doesn't have any social skills. Posting the DM and making it public that he is forbidding Bekah to their home IMO he is displaying what he thinks is a strong man taking control. Where as in reality it's childish small minded behaviour.

"You have to admit that you made a choice to not see it. … A message what Garrett posted totally contradicts the movement that we’re trying to push forward. And to see so many people ‘like’ it … the thinking that Garrett has is a bigger problem.” https://t.co/3Ql6SgvWh8

— Us Weekly (@usweekly) June 9, 2020

https://twitter.com/usweekly/status/1270373677742391297?s=20

Has anyone listened to the newest Bachelor Happy Hour podcast yet? Becca and Rachel talk all about this. I haven't had a chance yet.

@suzq I just read some parts of it on Reddit and Becca's recent Instagram.  Sigh.  IMHO she (Becca) is still "defending her fiancé" and does not seem to comprehend that while she thinks Garrett has good intentions and is not malicious, he also is not really apologizing or comprehending why folks would be upset at his actions.

No secret I have never been a Garrett fan.  I have loved Becca and have tried to see her happiness at being with him as a plus.  However, once again Garrett has shown us who he is (Refer to Maya Angelou about when people show you who they are, believe them the first time).

Now I am shm.  I wonder why she always seems to be the one and having to explain his behavior.   He is her fiancé, not her child.  Living in the public eye is often a double edged sword.  I don't envy the time ahead for her.  But if she truly wants to be a progressive, feminist, "woke" woman, and not just play one on tv/SM, IMHO, she needs to take a long,hard look at him and his behavior, not just his intentions.

No more smoothing over his rough edges when it comes to things that matter, like Black Lives.

I did. All of it is important but I think it’s about the last 40 minutes they talked about Garrett’s post.

She said that Garret has a cop friend who’s partner got shot in the head during one of these riots and he wanted to support his cop friends and family. She said she didn’t agree with his post and especially the timing of it was tone deaf but she knows Garrett and knows it’s not coming from a malicious place. As the podcast went on, little tidbits came out that to me gave me the perception that Becca does see that Garrett does exhibit that white privilege and he’s not impacted by what blacks are experiencing because that’s not the bubble he lives in. His group is white and he has lots of family and friends that are in law enforcement so he primarily sees that side. Rachel said there are lots of Garrett’s around that aren’t impacted by what’s happening and has happened to blacks for hundreds of years. Rachel is more affected by Garrett’s behavior than blatant racism.
Rachel talked about how to make changes locally by voting.
Becca continued to talk about how her and her family continue to have daily conversations about this with Garrett. It’s more than just becoming educated but wanting to change.

@FMG2015 Thanks for including all of this.  I am especially concerned about the last line..."It's more than just becoming educated but wanting to change".

So many folks on various SM platforms are discussing this, so I guess BN is helping in some way to at least begin a dialog.

I know relationships require compromise and give and take. I think Garrett believes he is compromising in some areas, but are they the ones that matter? What is a deal breaker for Becca?

@pavalygurl I also saw Becca's post and read some things on Reddit. They said Rachel started crying on the podcast and in turn Becca thinks she didn't defend Garrett enough? She made her post more about her than the actual subject at hand. I think Becca is just "stand by your man" no matter what person. She probably doesn't want to be single and start over again. However, if she thinks that she can "change him" -- wouldn't count on it. He doesn't seem real motivated, too.
I think she got a pass because of what happened with Arie and people wanted her to find love. I truly hope she doesn't get a pass this time. I hope that she gets called out by viewers and that Rachel thinks seriously about whether she wants to stay as her co-host. I just watched both Just Mercy (free this month on streaming platforms including Amazon Prime Video) and the documentary 13th on Netflix the past few days. They were eye opening to say the least (not that I didn't already know that systematic racism existed before the last few weeks. I most definitely did, but I am continuing to learn more) . All JMO. I am getting ready to listen to this podcast now.

@pavalygurl And that statement - wanting to change- is probably at the core IMO as Becca keeps defending him and educating him, and catering to his ego, he is not being threatened deeply in his beliefs as it is still reinforced: he is getting love and defended by her. He has no real incentive to change if this is what he gets, a loving, forgiving wife who loves him however askewed his deep prejudice maybe. It takes dedication and personal reflection to dive down and attempt to change our subconscious programming. I’m not seeing how Garrett has the will or sees the necessity to do so. His world is too comfortable to risk altering it and in the meantime, he will just hope this blows off as it did 2 years ago. Except, this time the whole world is waking up and the pressure is quite different and more global. It’s up to Becca as well to decide what’s her bottom line and IMO she never really contemplated WHAT IT WOULD BE to have a partner who would truly match her values and empower her on another level than this seemingly unbalanced pair.
JMOAA