Bachelor In Paradise Australia - Season 2 - Episodes - *Sleuthing Spoilers*

American Caroline arrives and takes Richie on a date.  She waffles unconvincingly about how much hotter AU guys are than US guys, as if someone's going to pop up and revoke her VISA if she doesn't stroke our collective national ego.

Cass is a little freaked out but maintaining a realistic perspective (others could learn from her example *cough* Rachel *cough*)

Meanwhile, Ivan is being a possessive creep.  Tenille puts it more politely but the footage speaks for himself.  He's manhandling her and she looks really uncomfortable. I find myself wishing the producers would bust in and rescue her.  



Jules is ignoring Alisha. I like Jules but he's being a massive dick. You'd think when the weird guy who's never had a girlfriend finally meets a girl he clicks with, he'd be thrilled, appreciative and loyal.  But you'd be wrong.

You see, Jules has this thing called a p*nis.  The p*nis cares not for the witty banter and genuine affection from Alisha, it just wants to get closer to Tenille.  Jules appears powerless to resist the commands of his phallic overlord.  

Jules tries to make it sound like some cosmic destiny for him to "explore" things with Tenille.  He says he's "aware" of Alisha and is "working towards a solution".  Alisha is taking it like a trooper but it's clearly wearing her down.

Nathan takes Tenille off for a chat and Ivan cranks up a notch from Casual Stalker to Glenn Close.  It's actually scary to watch.

After the break, Tenille is playfully tracing words on USAlex's back and smoke is coming out of Ivan's ears.  Tenille is being so polite and diplomatic, but it's clear she's freaked out.  She uses the word "scary"  

[Hey producers, a cast member just used the word "scary" - hope you noticed that]

USAlex tries to calm Ivan down by saying he's not interested in Tenille.  USAlex says he finds him scary, and he's making people uncomfortable.

[YO, PRODUCERS!]

Ivan sneaks into Tenille's cabin WHILE SHE'S IN THE BATHROOM, sits on her bed and conceals himself in shadows, waiting for her to come out.  



The toilet flushes, Tenille comes out and screams.  The editors choose to put comedic music over the top of this scene which is the only thing that makes it feel less like a horror movie.  

Tenille says she wants to reel things back a bit.  Ivan says, quote, "I want to protect the connection I have with Tenille, but I'm not the kind of guy to let people just do what they want".  

He says "why would I want to let someone ruin what I have, what we have?"  Umm... she's allowed to "ruin" it if she doesn't feel the same way, you possessive nutbag.  What a creep.

Richie and Cass come back and Richie takes Cass off straight away.  Aww.  

Jules does this:

Confusion, tears, and long sighs. Is this the end for Jules and Alisha? #BachelorInParadiseAU pic.twitter.com/NkWNOL02ki

— Bachelor In Paradise Australia (@BachParadiseAU) April 23, 2019

Bad Jules.  Bad.

Source

Tenille comes up and tells him to stop being such a drama queen.  "If you want to hang out with me, let's hang out", she says.  Part of me thinks she's just using this as an opportunity to escape Ivan's clutches (although Jules would be an odd choice of bodyguard).

Preview for next ep.  Ivan is a lunatic.  Tenille looks like a Hollywood goddess.  Jules stops the ceremony.  Since we have screen caps of him & Alisha still to come, I presume he tells Tenille he doesn't want her rose.  If Alisha picks him after all this, he's damn lucky, IMO.

SNEAK PEEK: Stock up on the popcorn Bach fam You’re going to need it for tonight’s rose ceremony. #BachelorInParadiseAU 7.30 on 10. pic.twitter.com/nPYdF8xTUk

— Bachelor In Paradise Australia (@BachParadiseAU) April 24, 2019

Source

If you’d told me at the beginning of the season that I’d be wanting the best for Alisha I would have said you’d had rocks in your head. But here we are folks, I actually care for Alisha. And Bill must be breathing a sigh of relief that he gets a reprieve tonight.

Jules continues his pursuit of Tenielle, and does the “right thing” by having the break up discussion with Alisha, who is devastated, and is delighted when new boys come in. Jules takes Tenielle away for a chat, where she promptly friendzones him. 

Ivan’s continued possessiveness towards Tenielle ensures that he will leave Paradise single, and any woman who has seen the show will run away screaming. So many red flags! He thinks that Tenielle is his possessions, he punches the wall when she goes with Jules, and he intimidates Nathan into not taking her on a date. Geez,if Nathan is feeling intimidated, how must Tenielle be feeling?  

Alisha plans to give her rose to anyone BUT Jules, however he takes her aside before and during the rose ceremony and somehow convinces her to choose him, but she is so conflicted and upset, it’s really difficult to watch. Sorry Wes lovers, he is sent home early again.

Preview show Canadian Daniel coming in and spending time with both Alisha and Tenielle. And Tenielle lays down the law with Ivan, I hope that TPTB had security in place when that went down.

ETA : I totally forgot that Ivan gave Tenielle some sort of lap dance that was literally him rubbing his c*ck all over her and marking his scent on her, which disgusted me, and I’m not at all prudish. She didn’t seem too bothered by it, but maybe she was just being polite, I don’t know, it was pretty icky 

Dirty Street Pie wrote:If you’d told me at the beginning of the season that I’d be wanting the best for Alisha I would have said you’d had rocks in your head. But here we are folks, I actually care for Alisha. And Bill must be breathing a sigh of relief that he gets a reprieve tonight.

Jules continues his pursuit of Tenielle, and does the “right thing” by having the break up discussion with Alisha, who is devastated, and is delighted when new boys come in. Jules takes Tenielle away for a chat, where she promptly friendzones him. 

Ivan’s continued possessiveness towards Tenielle ensures that he will leave Paradise single, and any woman who has seen the show will run away screaming. So many red flags! He thinks that Tenielle is his possessions, he punches the wall when she goes with Jules, and he intimidates Nathan into not taking her on a date. Geez,if Nathan is feeling intimidated, how must Tenielle be feeling?  

Alisha plans to give her rose to anyone BUT Jules, however he takes her aside before and during the rose ceremony and somehow convinces her to choose him, but she is so conflicted and upset, it’s really difficult to watch. Sorry Wes lovers, he is sent home early again.

Preview show Canadian Daniel coming in and spending time with both Alisha and Tenielle. And Tenielle lays down the law with Ivan, I hope that TPTB had security in place when that went down.

ETA : I totally forgot that Ivan gave Tenielle some sort of lap dance that was literally him rubbing his c*ck all over her and marking his scent on her, which disgusted me, and I’m not at all prudish. She didn’t seem too bothered by it, but maybe she was just being polite, I don’t know, it was pretty icky 

I agree with everything u have said!! I can't watch this show live anymore i need to fast forward anything with Ivan and Bill they just make me sick

I can't believe Wes didn't last longer than bachette literally he flu in and was out faster than i could see his beautiful self    probably for the best he left this sh!t show..

Oh and Jules bloody better kiss the ground Alisha walks on because the way he has treated her is so sad so disappointed in him. I wish Alisha or Flo saved Wes instead of Mack (eeeww) oh well...when the hell does this show finish? i don't know if i can take it anymore.

Episode 8:

Cass is obsessively working out because she's sexually frustrated.  I'm enjoying Cass this season; she's been level-headed and cute IMO.  I have a feeling Richie will tap out and leave as friends but I think Cass has come across well.

Ivan is an controlling nutcase who seems to find it necessary to ask his girlfriend-of-4-days, a grown woman, if she needs to go to the toilet.  I would like to request he be added to some kind of watch list please.




Seriously dude WTF.

Source: Tenplay.

Tenille says she's feeling "a little bit smothered".  I don't know if she's considered going into politics but she could be the most diplomatic person in AU right now.  Since Tenille won't say it I will: Ivan's being an aggro, possessive creep.



Source: Tenplay

Flashback to last night of Jules being a pr*ck.  Alisha seems to have misplaced her bikini bottoms so is instead wearing a folded serviette held in place by a couple of pieces of dental floss.  Brave, Alisha.  Very brave.



Source: Tenplay

Jules is talking about some "weird sparkly connection" he feels with Tenille but I think the only weird sparkles are happening in the vicinity of his underpants.  He says he feels like he and Tenille are on the same page.

Cut to Alexnation asking Tenille if she sees a connection with Jules.  "No" she replies, without hesitation.  Jules' pant sparkles are in peril.  She says she wants to get to know Nathan but hasn't been able to due to her owner Ivan.

Jules takes Ivan off to let him know if he gets a date card he's taking Tenille.  Ivan, predictably, loses it.  Jules is dead to him, and he goes to let off some steam by sipping a cocktail and dancing aggressively at the ocean.

Nothing like a calm down boogie to soothe the soul, right Ivan? #BachelorInParadiseAU pic.twitter.com/I8O5UUlKW4

— Bachelor In Paradise Australia (@BachParadiseAU) April 24, 2019

Source

Next, Jules takes Alisha away to let her know he's not going to "pursue her" any further.  He seems to be spending WAY more time talking to other people about Tenille than he is actually talking to Tenille.

Jules dumps Alisha and she handles it like an absolute boss.  @Dirty Street Pie I am right there with you - Alisha has won me over too.  I feel like she's one of the few people showing any GENUINE emotion.

With all obstacles removed, Jules begins his mission to get weird and sparkly with Tenille.  He sits down at a table with her and Alexnation immediately calls Tenille away.    Better luck next time mate.

Cass is saying she can see Nathan and Tenille together.  Nathan feels like he missed his chance.  Nathan receives a date card.  Clearly the producers want him to take Tenille and cause Mt Ivan to erupt.  

Tenille sidles up to Nathan and BEGS Nathan to take her on the date.  "Have you got the balls?  Please do it" she whispers.  It's like watching someone being held hostage trying to signal with their eyes that they need help.

Ivan says "Tenille is mine".  He flat out THREATENS Nathan not to ask her.  



Source: Tenplay.

Nathan panics... and picks Shannon.  She's confused.  Everyone's confused.

Connor waves them off and handles it like a normal person.  Tenille says Ivan has cockblocked her and I don't think I've ever heard the word used more appropriately.  I have decided I like Tenille very much.

The gang are playing truth or dare.  Caroline says she's attracted to Alex.  Bill says he's slept with 100 girls.  Jules lures Tenille away from the group with the promise of toasted cheese sandwiches (would work on me too TBH).

Ivan LOSES HIS SH!T.  He calls Jules all manner of names and punches some walls.  Jules and Tenille have a pleasant chat.  She says she thinks of him as a fun  girlfriend.   Oh man, that's brutal.  

He ruins the casual cheese toastie vibe by asking if she's feeling it with him.  Tenille frantically searches her Mental Encyclopeadia of Diplomacy to find the right reply.  There isn't one so she just sits there making this face while Jules digs himself into an even deeper Hole of Premature Emotion.

 

Source: Tenplay

Tenille finally finds the right words.  She tells him she wants to get to know everyone, if it works out that's great, but at this point in time she doesn't see it heading in that direction.  Seriously, give this woman a job with the UN.

Unlike Ivan who clearly can't take any kind of hints or subtle cues, Jules immediately understands what she means.  It's not going to happen.  He's messed up big time and his face says it all.  Sh!t.



Source: Tenplay

Nathan is on his date with Shannon and the crickets are chirping loudly.  I'm sure it wasn't quite as awkward as the editors are making it seem, but it's amusing to watch so I'll let it slide.



Source: Tenplay.

Jules and Tenille return to the group and Ivan immediately reclaims Tenille as his property by smearing a fresh layer of funky Croatian pheromones all over her.  I wish I hadn't chosen to eat while I watch.

We can't unsee this. #BachelorInParadiseAU pic.twitter.com/BKXdZErJVG

— Bachelor In Paradise Australia (@BachParadiseAU) April 24, 2019

Source

Flo is being her usual straight talking sour bitch self and I love it.  The "couples" are driving her nuts and she's not interested in any of the men so she decides to sleep the day away instead.  

Osher strides in to announce there will be a rose ceremony. Jules realises he's in trouble.  Flo is complaining that there's no men there for her.  Mack suggests they team up and her face says it all.  



Alisha Beyonce's her way into the ceremony. In an ITM she says "one thing I am sure of is that I am NOT giving my rose to Jules".  Even if I hadn't seen the spoilers, I would immediately know that Alisha is 100% giving her rose to Jules.



Source: Tenplay

Jules, seeing the writing on the wall, decides it's "winning her back time".  He takes her away to f*%^ with her head chat.  He lays it on thick and Alisha deflates in front of our eyes.  She goes from Confident Sass Queen to Insecure Teenager Who Just Wants to be Loved in the space of one conversation.

Going..



Going...



Gone.



Source: Tenplay.

Alisha tries to stay strong but Jules' ear worm has wriggled firmly inside her brain.  She says "obviously, for me to have any form of self respect, I can't give you my rose tonight", but even as she says the words her resolve is melting away.  She shuffles closer to him on the day bed and begins stroking his arm.

To camera she says she thought she would fall in love with Jules, and I believe her.  She says she wasn't always confident but she forced herself to be confident on BiP, to know her self worth, and Jules took it all away.  This is not the cocky Mean Girl we saw on Nick's season.  She's off script and ugly crying and it's REAL.  



Source: Tenplay.

The ceremony begins.  

Alisha looks like she's going to be ill.  Jules, suspecting he hasn't quite manipulated her enough, stops the ceremony and takes her off to finish the job.  He says why give your rose to someone you know there's no chance with, when you don't know for sure if there might be a chance with me?

It works.  By the time they return she's a withered husk of a woman.  She picks him, but it's obvious IMO she hates herself for doing it, and that for me is the saddest part.  The second saddest part is since Jules gets to stay, Wes and his luscious man bun are toast.  NICE ONE JULES.  




Source: Tenplay.

That was the worst part for me @Bobette was seeing Alisha giving Jules her rose, for whatever reason, and hating herself for doing it

@Bobette loving the recaps    better than the show

notarose wrote:@Bobette loving the recaps    better than the show

Thanks @notarose though let's face it it's really not hard to be better than the show this season.  

Episode the Ninth:

Alisha is confused, upset and annoyed with herself.  She says she hates Jules but what she actually means is "I adore him, even though I know he's a twat".  As someone who has adored more than one twat in my lifetime, I shall not judge.

Flo, ever the voice of straight-talking wisdom, echoes my exact thoughts: "We've all been there.  Every girl can relate".  If this was a war movie, Flo would be the grizzled old veteran with one arm.  She's seen some things in her romantic life IMO.

The next morning, the boys frolick in the pool pretending to be porpoises while the girls have a pow pow to gossip.  The school bell rings and everyone scurries off to biology class.  Canadian Daniel struts into camp like a pigeon on 'roids.



They recap his various BiP escapades and play a montage of people calling him a douche, just in case it's not already clear that he has been sent in with one mission: to shake things up.  

The girls are... unimpressed.  

Alexnation says, quote, "to me Daniel's just like this condom stuffed full of peanuts" and I have to rewind the scene and watch it again to make sure I get that quote exactly right

Alisha seems to be into peanuts because she thinks he's a "pretty good looking guy".  Ivan, of course, immediately assumes he's there to steal Tenille and hence hates him before they even meet.

Daniel walks up with a date card and everyone assumes he's going to ask Tenille.  Ivan mentally choreographs the Dance of Daniel's Death.




He asks Alisha and everyone is surprised, though not as surprised as Florence is when she notices her twin sister sitting on the adjacent swing.




I presume TPTB are now advertising for a new continuity editor.      

Alisha is thrilled.  



She packs her bikini up neatly into her bum crack and off they go.



Source: Tenplay