Fun Times with Bachelorette 7

Trueloveforever wrote:Caption this!

Fleiss: Ugh Ash, this is the 5th take, how many times do I need to tell you that you need to act dramatic for the viewers?
Ash: Sorry!! JP is about to come and this hair is getting in my face. I can't wait any longer. Bring him, NOW!

Trueloveforever wrote:Caption this!

"SHOOTSSS! I forgot I took those pictures for SI on Brad's season. You don't think they will spin that in the mags too do you?! I hope JP's parents don't see that, oh goshhh"

I'll be in charge of their wedding cake, even though they haven't asked me yet! haha

The Bachelorette: Late Night Edition
The Rough Cut Edit
**Viewer Discretion Is Advised**
The lines make more sense if your mind is a trifle depraved…

Last Season On The Bachelor…
Brad: What’s up?
Ashley (covering up with blankie): Retraction
Ashley PI: I wasn’t able to live in the moment.

This Season On The Bachelorette…
Ashley: I’m going in full force and I’m leaving with no regrets. I’m not going to let my insecurities get in the way of my happiness this time!

Intros we are allowed to see:
Ryan: I am looking for the most powerful thing in the entire universe.
Jordan P.: I don't think there's anything I wouldn't do for her
Ames: I’m very get up and go
Ben C.: On a scale of 1 to 10 on how romantic I am, I would give myself a 15, probably a 215.
Ben F.: I’m a total brunette guy.
Bentley: I’m sure the Bachelorette would have a hard time sending me without a rose.
Anthony: Want a slice?
West: I’ve [already] had a great love of my life.
William: I do not want to live like this anymore.

Out of the limo…
Ryan: All I got to say is Brad’s loss is my gain.
William: Sorry. I’m lost in the moment.
Ben F.: New hairdo?
Bentley: I know you are a busy woman, so I’ll talk to you inside.
Jordan P.: I have no props. I have nothing. Just myself and my smile.

Ryan: Ashley's sparkling, a bit of a sparkler. Now's my chance. I'm grabbing her NOW.

Ashley to Ryan: You want to come *do* my house?
Ryan: Yesssss!!!!

Matt (a.k.a. George Clooney Junior): Can I put you on the spot? (sure) What if we call my mom?
Ash: Stop it!
M: Yes. I’m not even joking. (No!) Not even joking.
A: Oh my goodness. OK. Let’s do it.
M: I’ll put you on the spot. (bringing out the Blackberry phone)
A: What’s her name?
M: Gayle. Her name is Gayle.
A: I’m nervous…
Gayle on phone: Hey Matt
M: Hey Mom. I’m sitting here with a beautiful young lady.
A: Hi Gayle!
G: Hi Ashleeeeeey! I’m so happy to say hello to you.
A: Oh that’s so sweet. I’m happy to say hello to you.
G: I think you two are gonna get along really really well and I don’t want to take up too much of your time but, if neither of you mind, I was kind of hoping to give you some motherly advise before I hang up. Is that OK?
A: Yes! Yes! We’d love to hear it.
G: Listen. When the two of you decide that you’re gonna forgo your separate rooms to partake the invitation suite, just remember two things. Number one, your moms are watching and, number two, don’t forget to use your protection.
M: All right Mom!!!!

Ashley to Jordan P.: I promise not to call you cupcake if you promise to call me cupcake.

Episode 2 description on the motherboard: Hearts are wild, as Ashley gambles hers in sizzling Las Vegas

Ashley to William: I’m driving!

William: At this point of time, I’m thinking that she is just hungry. She’s just starving for desert.

Ring saleslady: When’s the big day planned for?
William: Ah… we’re shooting for next summer.
Ash (laughing): No. We’re doing it tonight.
Willie: Oh… well… the official…
Ash to RS: Since we’re in Vegas, we’re thinking of maybe doing it tonight.
RS: That’s what many people do. This is a two carat cut diamond.
Ash: That is beeeeeautiful
RS to Willie: Do you have any idea what your size is?
Willie: No. Not at all. I’ve never worn a ring.
Ash: That’s about to change Baby.

William to Ashley: Where’s your bouquet?

Ashley to Bentley: If you feel something for me, please stick around. Just please, please, please stick around… please, please, please…
Bentley (PI): It’s almost, like, the game’s over before we push the start button. Like, let’s not even play.
Ashley: Oh Bentley! Bentley! Bentley!

Every Bachelor has a sad sad sad story this season…
Mickey lost his mom. William lost his dad. Ben F. lost his dad. Wes lost his wife. Jeff almost lost his life to a brain hemorage. Lucas lost his wife to a divorce. Ben C. lost his eHarmony account. Ames lost a boxing match when his pink getup prompted Ryan to mistaken him for Jordan. Bentley lost interest in the show.
As for Jordan…
After losing the coin toss to Mickey, he’s asked: How do you feel about this?
Deflated! Completely deflated.

Jordan P.: We got to talk.
Ash: Oh no… am I in trouble?

Ash (PI): I’m not one to lean in for a kiss but for some reason I wanted to kiss JP tonight.
Ash: I’m glad you flipped it.
Jordan P.: I’m really glad I flipped it.

William after getting her post-Jordan kiss: Will I see you a little bit later?

Bentley after getting her post-Jordan kiss: Wow. That was kinda boring. It started out good but it sucked towards the end. But it’s more like an expected feeling.

Matt (a.k.a. George Clooney Junior) didn’t get her post-Jordan kiss: Hello Mom. It’s 4AM in LA. You lovely son was just not given a rose and Ashley’s not in love with him, so I’m not getting married. I’ll be coming home. I’m gonna need you to pick me up at the airport and give me lots of love and cook me French toast… so… love you and see you in about five hours. Bye.

Ash (post roasting, episode #3): I’m talking to the guys but I can’t stop thinking about William. All I wanted him to do was just comfort me but instead he wants to leave.

Ryan: What can I do?
Ash: Nothing. You’ve been great. You really have been. Don’t worry about it.

Ash: After talking to Bentley, I believe every word he says and I’m moving forward. I’m not letting this hinder our relationship. Honestly, my heart races when I’m with him. I feel warm. I feel comfortable. I feel secure. I feel protected. I feel like I can trust him forever.

Bentley: So, I’m gonna make Ashley cry. Hope my hair looks OK.

Ash: Is my face messed up?
Bentley: Your face is gorgeous. It makes your eyes sparkle. Walk me out?

Ash: One of the hardest parts is that tonight is the date with JP. It’s not fair to him that this is going to be his date just because I can’t see myself having a really good date tonight and that sucks because JP is a really good guy and he deserves to see the best in me and he’s not going to.

Ash: I just want you to know that if I’m a little bit down today or just kinda feeling like a little more mellow, I’m emotionally drained. I don’t want you to think it has anything to do with you.
Jordan P.: I will do my best to take your mind off it

Jordan P.: I had an unbelievable time and I’m flying! It was an absolutely unbelievable night!

The Bachelorette: Late Night Edition (Part 2)
The Rough Cut Edit
**Viewer Discretion Is Advised**
The lines make more sense if your mind is a trifle depraved…

Blake (episode #4): It is what it is, you know. It’s the nature of this whole beast. Everybody’s kinda going after the same piece of fruit. It’s tough. It is really tough to do it.
Ben: Just be patient, otherwise you’ll drive yourself crazy. (twirling motion)
Jordan P.: I’m on the way…
Ben (mouth full of apple): I can tell, man! I can tell. Your mood-things are a little different.
J: Well... this isn’t normal for me. I mean, it’s not normal for anybody, I guess, but... It chaps my ass, man…

Painting the orphanage walls pink-lavender…
Ash: Am I doing OK?
Jordan P.: You’re a pro.
Ash: Yeah?
Jordan P.: Yeah…

Ash to Jordan, Mickey and William: You guys are, like, hard core about it.
Jordan P.: We’re here to work.
Ash: No messing around…
Mickey: We want to finish it.
Ash: No flirting? Nothing?
Jordan P.: No. This isn’t a time for flirting. We’ll flirt later.
(Ashley moves on to chart new territory…)
Ben F. (later that episode): I feel like she was kind of buzzing around me more than usual.

Ashley: We had a really good hard day at work and we are now here to celebrate what we have done. I feel I owe it to the guys to let them know I really want them to be here.

Ryan: Damn!
Ash: What?
Ryan: Nice outfit.
To come in this really cool bar, sand on our feet, this beautiful girl. But on top of the beauty of it, she’s just freakin’ rad.

Ryan (hand on her leg): What are some things you are looking for?
Ashley: First and foremost, I’m just looking for a feeling. Someone who makes me feel really secure and I also want someone to make me feel like I want to flirt with them and touch them. So I want the physical-ness.
Ryan (shivering): Ahhhh… yeah, well… it’s important…

Jordan P.: When’s my next 1 on 1? I can’t-I’m impatient.
Ash: I feel like I owe you a really good one
J.: No that really was a good one
A: And thank you for putting up with me. That was so bad.
J: That date was perfect
A: I fell asleep on your chest.
J: But that’s how it should be. That date was perfect. It really was and I haven’t stopped thinking about it.
A: Really? I feel you saw me at my lowest point so for you to say that you’re still thinking about it, that means something. Right?
J: I know it was only one date but… it was a perfect date. It really was.
A: That’s really cute.
J: Now, I’m gonna get all shy.
A: Nooo, don’t get shy.
J: Are you getting wet?
A: A little bit. It’s OK

Jordan P.: I think our chemistry is amazing. I’m pretty confident in saying that she’s into me and I’m into her. There’s a-there’s a lot of chemistry there.

Ryan: When JP is carrying her back and walking in front of all the guys, it’s making a real statement. There’s definitely jealousy floating around. It’s gonna get interesting, no doubt.

Ryan (episode #5): The excitement hasn’t begun to wear off! In fact I don’t think it’ll wear off. I mean we’re flying all over the world for love following Ashley. I only hope, keep my fingers crossed, that I’ll be on a date with her this week.

Ben: How beautiful is Ashley. You know I’m beginning to see her as a potential fiancé… Wife of mine?

Ashley: I really feel like Ben likes me, I really do feel that. There’s so much tension building up in this moment, I just want to jump on him…grrrrr.

Jordan P.: If I gotta go in there and take a beating like a man, I’m gonna take a beating like a man. There’s no crying in Muay Thai.

William: I’m losing the rose in this moment. Is everything going OK back there?

Ashley: I thought William and I were so compatible when I first started this and I never thought that I would not give him the rose, but I’m looking for a Man. That’s what I realized.

Ryan kicking William’s luggage goodbye: Take it outta here! Go ahead! Take it!!!!

William: I leave here. I go back to NOTHING. Simple as that. You know, you sit back and you think about it and you wish you could do everything in your power to be a man and not a f*****g idiot. I feel I don’t deserve ANYTHING. I don’t deserve s**t. I’ll probably end up sliding back in that dark hole and stick the rock over top. I want to curl up in bed right now and not wake up.

Ryan moving in on Ash: From the very first night, like… it was just like a rocket-ship!! You know? (frog chirp) Immediately (frog chirp), I was feeling sooo good and then… (frog chirp) the second time we’re together (frog chirp) (frog chirp) (frog chirp) (frog chirp) again. I mean (frog chirp) (frog chirp) and we haven’t had a 1 on 1 date yet.(frog chirp) (frog chirp) (frog chirp) (frog chirp) (frog chirp) (frog chirp) (frog chirp) (frog chirp)
Ash: Even though we haven’t had a 1 on 1, I still feel our relationship is where it should be.

Ash: Lucas is pretty smooth with the ladies. He gave me a little golf lesson tonight. I was pretty turned on. Fore!

Ash: You are so cute.
Jordan P.: Thanks. You look beautiful by the way.
A: Thank you, so do you.
J: Thanks. You know, when you came to pick up Ben for your date, like… that was the first time it stung a little bit and I know it’s gonna get harder. I mean, that’s just the nature of the beast…
(After getting excited over that last line, Ashley titles her people.com blog for this week: Why Ben F. has the total package.)

Chris Harrison: Next week is an episode not to be missed from start to finish. It will absolutely shape everything that will happen the rest of this season and maybe the rest of Ashley’s life.

Bentley comes to Hong Kong (episode 6)

Ashley: After you left I had a really, really hard time.
Bentley (hand on her leg): Was it fun though?
A: NO!

Ashley: Bentley, if you are watching this, I’m ****ing done with you!

Ashley to Lucas: There’s a rose on this date so you have to be nice to me.
Lucas to Ashley: I’m not very well traveled. Y’know, I enjoy fishing ‘n’ stuff with the buddies.
Lucas: Mmmmm Spicy. Chewy. Cheeseburger?
Lucas (before kissing): Do you mind?
Ash: Lucas makes me feel like a woman. There’s something about his manlihood that makes me feel protected.

Ames: Mickey and I are not here to be flashy. We are here to win the race.

Ben: We’re getting smoked!
Constantine: Like salmon, bro!

Ash: Woooooah Ames! Where did that come from?
Ames: Uh ho. That was not expected.
Ash: Oh shoot!

Ashley thrusting her bosom at Jordan P.: I feel everything is out there!
Jordan P.: Tonight was incredible. I’m now more emotionally attached to her than I’ve ever been. Things are perfect. Things are perfect. She and I are on the right track. I’m completely blown away by how I’m feeling. Crazy about her. Tonight is so perfect. I don’t want it to end… and I don’t think she wants it to end.

Lucas quote dubbed over a shot of Jordash in preview: She had a different glow about her.

Chris Harrison blog: She gets to this happy place and is almost a little arrogant and cocky because of it

Lucas: You put every ****ing minute into her and this happens!

Ryan: My blood pressure didn’t move a beat.

ryvetted wrote:I'll be in charge of their wedding cake, even though they haven't asked me yet! haha

Adorable!!

ryvetted wrote:I'll be in charge of their wedding cake, even though they haven't asked me yet! haha

Aww that's too cute!

ryvetted wrote:I'll be in charge of their wedding cake, even though they haven't asked me yet! haha

Wow! That looks fabulous!

JBF wrote:

Every Bachelor has a sad sad sad story this season…
Mickey lost his mom. William lost his dad. Ben F. lost his dad. Wes lost his wife. Jeff almost lost his life to a brain hemorage. Lucas lost his wife to a divorce. Ben C. lost his eHarmony account. Ames lost a boxing match when his pink getup prompted Ryan to mistaken him for Jordan. Bentley lost interest in the show.

LOL! this cracked me up!

ryvetted wrote:I'll be in charge of their wedding cake, even though they haven't asked me yet! haha

Beautiful!! Ashley, we'll plan your wedding for free! Call us!

http://www.aoltv.com/tag/bachelorette+top+5/

Some pretty funny stuff by a very snarky writer

ninu wrote:http://www.aoltv.com/tag/bachelorette+top+5/

Some pretty funny stuff by a very snarky writer

She has a weekly blog about the show that is pretty funny too: http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/