Fun Times with Bachelorette 7
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Re: Fun Times with Bachelorette 7
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The Bachelorette: Burn! That! Rose!
My mama taught me that confidence is attractive. Even if your hair looks
like a rat's nest and you’ve got cat scratches on your face, being your
own biggest fan is essential to being charming. But even though Ashley
clearly prepared physically for The Bachelorette,
she unfortunately did not prepare emotionally. We saw her dissolve in a
pool of her own insecurity during Brad’s season, and now she’s doing it
again, as we witnessed in almost every frame of last night’s episode.
It's painful to watch her implode, and with the way the show has set up
the Bentley storyline as the central plot, the rest of the guys are kind
of like clowns dancing around a car wreck. Entertaining, but who cares?
That said, if I had known the contestants would get to stay in private
villas in Thailand this season, I would have slapped on a mustache and
applied myself.
Last night's first date was with Ben F., who seems hot and intriguing,
but also said he loved the people and culture of Thailand based on a
couple hours walking around a tourist trap.
Ben also brought back the motif of Dark Tragedy during dinner, telling
Ashley at the first opportunity about his father’s passing. But then,
luckily, a dozen fire dancers hurried out and started writhing
romantically around the dinner table.
Could you feel Ashley longing to join their dance/bare her killer abs?
The group date (Muy Thai boxing? Yeesh.) was our first peek into
Ashley’s current level of insecurity. False eyelashes with boxing gloves
is not a choice a happy woman makes.
This whole date seemed to be where the guys “earned their keep.” By
getting punched in the abs while doing sit ups and loading into this:
They all seemed bummed , except for Ryan, who was giddy about throwing
some punches and laughed merrily through the other fights.
Ryan enthusiastically punched Ames in the head. Ames, whose greatest
beauty is his brain, hopped into an ambulance and took off for the
hospital.
Mickey surmised that Ames had just never taken a good punch to the face
before, but I think its more like Mickey’s taken a few too many punches.
During the group date after-party, Ames returned in one piece—which is
more than can be said for Ashley’s dress. Sign of rampant insecurity #2:
not wearing pants. I’ve been known to wear short shorts and high heels
myself, but stripper shoes and a Chico’s blouse does not an outfit
make.
Then of course, there was the dreaded One-on-One Date. As Chris Harrison says, “Two men, one rose, one stays, one goes.”
Ashley described the date as being "a scene from a movie, getting
steered down a river by two handsome men." To which I say, what about
this guy?:
Rafting specialist, I hear your silent scream.
Thick William was unable to make eye contact with Ashley. After his
dickish stand-up routine, there could be no pretense that he cared about
her. The only way he could compete was by making Ben C. look as bad as
he did, which he actually managed to do.
He TOTALLY threw Ben C. under the bus, telling Ashley that Ben’s looking
forward to the dating websites, or something? It seemed like a
non-issue, but Ashley wasn’t effing around. She told Ben C. he was going
home and marched him to a raft.
Ashley shortly thereafter also sent Thick William packing, which, FINALLY. Double dismissal! It reminded me of Jake Pavelka’s Bachelor
season, where he started cutting out contestants with the ruthless
efficiency of a battlefield surgeon. He sent them home in limos, on ski
lifts, and once interrupted a dinner on a yacht to lead his date down to
a waiting dingy so he wouldn’t have to put up with her on the sail
home.
Then Ashley BURNED THE ROSE. This is always a huge turning point in any
season during which it happens, because it means the producers have
decided the contestant has hit “rock bottom” and will at some point edit
a tone reversal. I hope. Kind of need some emotional justice here, ABC.
The revelation that Ben had considered the possibility of being sent
home and then dating other women hit Ashley like a Ryan-style Muy Thai
punch to the head. She was a dead-eyed, needy wreck at the cocktail
party, in full-on Insecurity Red Alert mode.
She:
1. Explained to the guys that she understands if they don’t like her very much.
2. Praised glistening guy for not liking her that much.
3. Asked him if he felt closer to the guys than her.
4. Asked JP if he could see himself with her day after day.
5. Said out loud that her worst fear is that she will fall in love with a guy and he won’t love her back.
How can you be in Needy Girlfriend mode with 16 guys at once? She was
making ME feel like I needed my space and I wasn’t even in the same
country.
Eventually she and Chris Harrison
went and sat down in what looked like the waiting area for Disneyland’s
Indiana Jones ride and had a heart to heart about…ugh…Bentley.
You could SHOW HER THE CONFESSIONALS.
Chris’ two-faced promises gave her enough confidence to send this guy packing:
Kind of made me laugh that they put out a huge Persian carpet like they always do at the mansion rose ceremonies.
According to the promo, NEXT EPISODE is when Bentley returns. The
villain is back! Except not really, because ABC is the real villain in
this show. I hope Ashley is okay, wherever she is right now, and girl:
1. You’re a lovable hottie.
2. Except when you beat yourself up in public. You and all you other self hating ladies: STOP. Seriously.
QUESTIONS:
… Will Bentley reveal to Ashley that he’s a straight up asshole?
… Do you want to make wine and sweet love with Ben F ?
… Will Ames lose IQ points/his genius job?
… Have you ever made a relationship disappear by asking if the other person really liked you every five minutes?
The Bachelorette: Burn! That! Rose!
My mama taught me that confidence is attractive. Even if your hair looks
like a rat's nest and you’ve got cat scratches on your face, being your
own biggest fan is essential to being charming. But even though Ashley
clearly prepared physically for The Bachelorette,
she unfortunately did not prepare emotionally. We saw her dissolve in a
pool of her own insecurity during Brad’s season, and now she’s doing it
again, as we witnessed in almost every frame of last night’s episode.
It's painful to watch her implode, and with the way the show has set up
the Bentley storyline as the central plot, the rest of the guys are kind
of like clowns dancing around a car wreck. Entertaining, but who cares?
That said, if I had known the contestants would get to stay in private
villas in Thailand this season, I would have slapped on a mustache and
applied myself.
Last night's first date was with Ben F., who seems hot and intriguing,
but also said he loved the people and culture of Thailand based on a
couple hours walking around a tourist trap.
Ben also brought back the motif of Dark Tragedy during dinner, telling
Ashley at the first opportunity about his father’s passing. But then,
luckily, a dozen fire dancers hurried out and started writhing
romantically around the dinner table.
Could you feel Ashley longing to join their dance/bare her killer abs?
The group date (Muy Thai boxing? Yeesh.) was our first peek into
Ashley’s current level of insecurity. False eyelashes with boxing gloves
is not a choice a happy woman makes.
This whole date seemed to be where the guys “earned their keep.” By
getting punched in the abs while doing sit ups and loading into this:
They all seemed bummed , except for Ryan, who was giddy about throwing
some punches and laughed merrily through the other fights.
Ryan enthusiastically punched Ames in the head. Ames, whose greatest
beauty is his brain, hopped into an ambulance and took off for the
hospital.
Mickey surmised that Ames had just never taken a good punch to the face
before, but I think its more like Mickey’s taken a few too many punches.
During the group date after-party, Ames returned in one piece—which is
more than can be said for Ashley’s dress. Sign of rampant insecurity #2:
not wearing pants. I’ve been known to wear short shorts and high heels
myself, but stripper shoes and a Chico’s blouse does not an outfit
make.
Then of course, there was the dreaded One-on-One Date. As Chris Harrison says, “Two men, one rose, one stays, one goes.”
Ashley described the date as being "a scene from a movie, getting
steered down a river by two handsome men." To which I say, what about
this guy?:
Rafting specialist, I hear your silent scream.
Thick William was unable to make eye contact with Ashley. After his
dickish stand-up routine, there could be no pretense that he cared about
her. The only way he could compete was by making Ben C. look as bad as
he did, which he actually managed to do.
He TOTALLY threw Ben C. under the bus, telling Ashley that Ben’s looking
forward to the dating websites, or something? It seemed like a
non-issue, but Ashley wasn’t effing around. She told Ben C. he was going
home and marched him to a raft.
Ashley shortly thereafter also sent Thick William packing, which, FINALLY. Double dismissal! It reminded me of Jake Pavelka’s Bachelor
season, where he started cutting out contestants with the ruthless
efficiency of a battlefield surgeon. He sent them home in limos, on ski
lifts, and once interrupted a dinner on a yacht to lead his date down to
a waiting dingy so he wouldn’t have to put up with her on the sail
home.
Then Ashley BURNED THE ROSE. This is always a huge turning point in any
season during which it happens, because it means the producers have
decided the contestant has hit “rock bottom” and will at some point edit
a tone reversal. I hope. Kind of need some emotional justice here, ABC.
The revelation that Ben had considered the possibility of being sent
home and then dating other women hit Ashley like a Ryan-style Muy Thai
punch to the head. She was a dead-eyed, needy wreck at the cocktail
party, in full-on Insecurity Red Alert mode.
She:
1. Explained to the guys that she understands if they don’t like her very much.
2. Praised glistening guy for not liking her that much.
3. Asked him if he felt closer to the guys than her.
4. Asked JP if he could see himself with her day after day.
5. Said out loud that her worst fear is that she will fall in love with a guy and he won’t love her back.
How can you be in Needy Girlfriend mode with 16 guys at once? She was
making ME feel like I needed my space and I wasn’t even in the same
country.
Eventually she and Chris Harrison
went and sat down in what looked like the waiting area for Disneyland’s
Indiana Jones ride and had a heart to heart about…ugh…Bentley.
You could SHOW HER THE CONFESSIONALS.
Chris’ two-faced promises gave her enough confidence to send this guy packing:
Kind of made me laugh that they put out a huge Persian carpet like they always do at the mansion rose ceremonies.
According to the promo, NEXT EPISODE is when Bentley returns. The
villain is back! Except not really, because ABC is the real villain in
this show. I hope Ashley is okay, wherever she is right now, and girl:
1. You’re a lovable hottie.
2. Except when you beat yourself up in public. You and all you other self hating ladies: STOP. Seriously.
QUESTIONS:
… Will Bentley reveal to Ashley that he’s a straight up asshole?
… Do you want to make wine and sweet love with Ben F ?
… Will Ames lose IQ points/his genius job?
… Have you ever made a relationship disappear by asking if the other person really liked you every five minutes?
Love_Me- Posts : 32393
Join date : 2011-03-22
Re: Fun Times with Bachelorette 7
OK guys, so then we're all in agreement. As soon as we get back to the states we'll all pitch in
and get this weird growth thing taken off Blakes's shoulder.
Right? OK. Good.
Good meeting.
Guest- Guest
Re: Fun Times with Bachelorette 7
Alexxxx wrote:
OK guys, so then we're all in agreement. As soon as we get back to the states we'll all pitch in
and get this weird growth thing taken off Blakes's shoulder.
Right? OK. Good.
Good meeting.
Love_Me- Posts : 32393
Join date : 2011-03-22
Re: Fun Times with Bachelorette 7
Ryan: Come on JP, hurry up with the spitwad! Connie's dozed off again!
Guest- Guest
Re: Fun Times with Bachelorette 7
Anyone know where I'm so Tired is? I sure miss her funny story book she use to do at fort.
Guest- Guest
Re: Fun Times with Bachelorette 7
"I have to go on and talk about him AGAIN?!? How many more talk shows? Are you serious?"
CarrieA- Posts : 3482
Join date : 2011-03-22
Re: Fun Times with Bachelorette 7
I'm pretty sure that how the audience feels..take a hint MF!
CarrieA- Posts : 3482
Join date : 2011-03-22
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