Becca Kufrin & Garrett Yrigoyen - Bachelorette 14 - Discussion

Feeling for Becca. My husband sent these words to our son this week when he shared that he and his gf of 5 years were splitting:

"Always act with class. Be respectful and generous. Give more than you take."

These words apply to Becca and I hope she continues the course.

Break ups are hard, no matter public or private.  Almost 40 years ago, as a married lady, I picked up mail for DH and I.  He received a lipstick kissed valentine in the mail and it was not from me.  It was from a one night stand and sent to our military base and forwarded to our on base home.  I was devastated, crushed and there were no words that I could say publicly at that point, because I only told my family as I was hurt and embarrassed.  I returned to my parents home and told all that he was on temporary duty and I decided to spend time with my family while he was away.  I went back to our home a month later and packed to leave.  I am remarried for almost 26 years now and outside of my family only at most 5 people know the real reason my first marriage broke up. (from me).
It was too hurtful to talk about then and I simply said, he did not want to be married to me or anyone else.  The funny part is I married a local guy and when I would run into people, they would tell me that they heard he had married again and divorced again and would comment that I was so lucky I got out when I did.
I guess back in the day of Trista, the show was still a fairytale and before social media so there was less of an expectation of knowing all about their private lives.
I wish her well...too bad it went as long as it did.

@nuts2uiam Thanks for sharing your personal experience.

@Norcalgal Good advice. I went through the same thing with my son, after 12 yrs!

I'm not sure why she waited so long as it was obvious they had separated. I agree with the comments up thread, IMHO the sooner the announcement is out there, the less speculation and tabloids repeating the same thing over and over.

I wish her all the best. I'm sure she'll be fine. If anything the last few years has taught her a lot about new opportunities. JMO's.

Oh finally, do we think his politics caused the breakup

Becca mentioned the breakup didn't happen from one instagram post or one person's opinions (Rachel?) on her podcast today. They were probably having problems before hence them taking some time apart from each other but I think it wasn't really his politics necessarily but the public backlash/pressure that did it for them. IMO.

I'm sure his politics had something to do with it. It's not easy to be on literally opposite sides especially now. And he chose to make an inflammatory political post when she was grieving her grandfather. So selfish of him. Even if she could live with his politics (I don't think she could have, not long term), how could she live with someone who'd choose his politics over being sensitive towards her needs?

I think it's one thing to overlook differences early in a relationship when it's more about the chemistry but completely different later on when those same differences are much more noticeable. Becca seemed to put Garrett in the same slot as her dad so of course his "likes" didn't come across as much of a red flag as it did to others. I'm only looking at Becca's side but doesn't mean that Garrett didn't have similar issues with her. All of that is JMO of course.

IMO, and I'm speaking generally, as fans it seems more excuses and reasons are applied by said fans for why a relationship failed more so than those in the know.

People know themselves much better than you do. That's why it's important to stop expecting them to be something other than who they are ~ Maya Angelou

wishesfireworks wrote:Becca mentioned the breakup didn't happen from one instagram post or one person's opinions (Rachel?) on her podcast today. They were probably having problems before hence them taking some time apart from each other but I think it wasn't really his politics necessarily but the public backlash/pressure that did it for them. IMO.

Completely disagree. Public backlash might have made things more difficult but I don’t think it was the catalyst. I don’t think it was just the IG post or politics that did it, I think there were probably other problems that we don’t know about even before that, and the IG post and the drama from that forced them to confront all the other issues. I’m sure in time we’ll find out because eventually all these people spill. All jmo.

@GuardianAngel 12 years - ai ai yai !!!

I think the dynamic of the public wears on a fraying relationship particularly when they go to the store and see their relationships are fodder for the latest rag. I know I was filled with self doubt when we split up and questioned if there were something in my character that blinded me to seeing the truth about him. I can only imagine how much more difficult that could have been if it were being discussed very publicly. I agree with ReneeM, I think it is only one symptom of the problems they were having that clearly brought things to a head.

I know Garrett distances himself from the franchise but did anyone find it weird that he didn't make a post about the breakup and continued to shill? Not even a copy and paste of Becca's post.