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Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #6

eirekay wrote:I asked a co-worker who is 30 and single about #25's "Would you rather F#ck or make Love?" question. She found nothing strange in that being said and would take it as a good sign. As she put it, a Hook-up is a Hook-up and you know what sex means in that context, but if you've been dating for 3 or 4 dates, then it's a good thing to make sure both people are getting what they want from sex. In her word, just "f#cking" means both people are having a good time but they're each responsible for making sure they get what they want. Conversely, "Making Love" means that each partner's focus is on satisfying the other.

Shows you just how much of a married woman I am - I'd have never delineated the two that way! Either way, my co-worker doesn't think that any of her friends would find the question off putting.

That makes sense to me, although the world certainly wasn't like that back when I dated, either.

People on this show come from all over the country and norms about how to act on dates are going to vary. I think participants need to roll with it and not jump quickly to negative conclusions. Some behaviors are just narcissistic (JP), but others seem like an attempt to do whatever the individual understands to be "the right thing" (NV).

Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #6

I asked a co-worker who is 30 and single about #25's "Would you rather F#ck or make Love?" question. She found nothing strange in that being said and would take it as a good sign. As she put it, a Hook-up is a Hook-up and you know what sex means in that context, but if you've been dating for 3 or 4 dates, then it's a good thing to make sure both people are getting what they want from sex. In her word, just "f#cking" means both people are having a good time but they're each responsible for making sure they get what they want. Conversely, "Making Love" means that each partner's focus is on satisfying the other.

Shows you just how much of a married woman I am - I'd have never delineated the two that way! Either way, my co-worker doesn't think that any of her friends would find the question off putting.

Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #6

stuckinsc wrote:
GuardianAngel wrote:I can't help think she may have been tipped off about the ATFR confrontation by #25. Why wait till two weeks before the MTA to fess up? She obviously held on to the secret as long as she could, and if IMO she wasn't tipped off, she never would have admitted it, jmho just the way I see the way her mind works. They made a big deal, CH included, about how good it was they were always honest with each other so hey no big surprise for #26, he already knew, yeah, two weeks before.

#25 struggled with the question, which always led me to believe, he was coached along on what to say. The letter the question, IMO was all pre planned. Someone knew it was going to go down that way, and someone must of warned her of that possibility.

I thought TPTB were trying to break them up, that they wanted Josh as the bachelor. I wonder if CM felt bad for her and warned her? JMO.

I always felt Nick sent the letter and asked the question since he was the show puppet after the airline video. I figured he did not have much of a choice, but who knows.

Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #6

GuardianAngel wrote:I can't help think she may have been tipped off about the ATFR confrontation by #25. Why wait till two weeks before the MTA to fess up? She obviously held on to the secret as long as she could, and if IMO she wasn't tipped off, she never would have admitted it, jmho just the way I see the way her mind works. They made a big deal, CH included, about how good it was they were always honest with each other so hey no big surprise for #26, he already knew, yeah, two weeks before.

#25 struggled with the question, which always led me to believe, he was coached along on what to say. The letter the question, IMO was all pre planned. Someone knew it was going to go down that way, and someone must of warned her of that possibility.

I thought TPTB were trying to break them up, that they wanted Josh as the bachelor. I wonder if CM felt bad for her and warned her? JMO.

Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #6

lovebites8727 wrote:As the one who read her book . For sure the main problem of their rel as engaged couple was Andi's sex with #25 . The issue about her sex with him never resolve. It is funny that on her atfr she made sure that #26 knew about it and able to make sure he was okay with it. Oh boy he never ever forget about it and still an issue all along . I would think if andi told him about her sex with #25 before the engagement , no proposal ever happened. Jmo

If her FS date with Josh was first maybe things would have been different. But she was not engaged to Josh when she slept with Nick and I am sure Josh has slept with plenty girls before Andi also. Josh knew how this show worked and he should have been prepared that this might happen. IMO of course.

Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #6

I can't help think she may have been tipped off about the ATFR confrontation by #25. Why wait till two weeks before the MTA to fess up? She obviously held on to the secret as long as she could, and if IMO she wasn't tipped off, she never would have admitted it, jmho just the way I see the way her mind works. They made a big deal, CH included, about how good it was they were always honest with each other so hey no big surprise for #26, he already knew, yeah, two weeks before.

#25 struggled with the question, which always led me to believe, he was coached along on what to say. The letter the question, IMO was all pre planned. Someone knew it was going to go down that way, and someone must of warned her of that possibility.

Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #6

As the one who read her book . For sure the main problem of their rel as engaged couple was Andi's sex with #25 . The issue about her sex with him never resolve. It is funny that on her atfr she made sure that #26 knew about it and able to make sure he was okay with it. Oh boy he never ever forget about it and still an issue all along . I would think if andi told him about her sex with #25 before the engagement , no proposal ever happened. Jmo

Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #6

Andi blasts Nick for him spilling the beans about what happened between the two of them in the FS by saying that it was "below the belt", because SHE did not give her consent for him to reveal that information during the AFTR.

Did any of the guys that she has written such personal details about in this book get an opportunity to give her THEIR consent beforehand? Of course not. So, how is that any different - if SHE did not get THEIR consent prior to publishing a book that in essence is just payback for #1, #25, and #26 - a book that is only presented from HER side of the story?

It is obvious that the one and only reason for this book ever being written is to exact revenge on anyone who she perceived has wronged her.....especially Josh.

Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #6

Ok, time for an update. I'm up to Chapter 12 on audio tape. There was one chapter (3 or 4) where she was actually tolerable and almost funny, but now she's back to be insufferable again.

Chapter 10- She says she was 99% sure she was picking Josh after the FS and that she took Nick to meet her parents to set the benchmark low. She knew she was using him to prove her love for #26 by showing them she wasn't in love with #25. She says in their pow wow after Nick left that her family knew Nick wasn't for her and there were no sparks. Hy apparently said if the next guy was anything like this one she better come back single. Nice. I'm sure Nick loved hearing this.

Chapter 11- She says the real reason for her not going back to the DA job was because she didn't want to break her back working 60+ hours/week to make 57k/year when they didn't need the money and she could have fun, travel and love on her then fiance. This is after claiming earlier in the book that #26 didn't want her to go back because he thought it was selfish and too dangerous. Just another one of many contradictions she makes in the book.

Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #6

I said it upthread, but I'll say it again. It's awesome that #1, #25 and #26 are keeping silent (the minute they comment they lose) …or like Josh - killing her with kindness/irony and simply wishing she finds peace. Hahahahahaha.

Better (and more fun for us) to let her twist in her own egotistical, duplicitous words.

Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #6

There is no need, IMO for #25 and #26 to say anything in response to her book. She's doing a good job all on her own.

Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #6

StationWagon wrote:What is even more cringy to me is her description of #25's apology to her afterwards at his apartment. He invited her to his apartment so that he could apologize to her in person about the fantasy suite admission and she thought to herself in the elevator on her way to his apartment "I wonder if I'll have sex with him". I'm not kidding, she thought that to herself even though this is supposedly a man that she hates and who is only a fame seeker. If so, Why would she even think to have sex with him again...especially after she said how bad the experience of having sex with him was in previous chapters? She is so hypocritical throughout the entire book it's difficult for even the reader to get her story strait IMO.

Maybe this time she just wanted to "fork".