Couples Therapy - Season 5 - Premier Sept 10 2014 - General Discussion

I have no problem with the twitter either. People can be brutal. I guess I'm just not seeing where JP feels for Nikki what she feels for him. It always seems to be what he wants or what annoys him about her. Hopefully he is more generous with her than I've seen.

albean99 wrote:I have no problem with the twitter either. People can be brutal. I guess I'm just not seeing where JP feels for Nikki what she feels for him. It always seems to be what he wants or what annoys him about her. Hopefully he is more generous with her than I've seen.

He posted that very sweet video to utube after the AFTR and there have been quite a few tweets and pics of him doing sweet things. I do think he is selfish and could learn to tone it down. I hated listening to Nikki say she still felt like she was trying to get a rose. That isn't good and so I hope that this show works for them.

I am the kind of fan who likes to acknowledge the good and the bad of the people I like. No one is perfect, so as long as I see more good than bad usually I am happy. Certain people press my buttons and I am not so good with that.

I did understand the getting ready thing just because my hubby and I had some not so nice words to each other when we were working that out. I occasionally still call him a jerk when he is too peppy in the morning and he threatens to take my coffee away if I don't play nice.

I appreciate that Nikki was mature enough to know that this was going to be hard and decided to shut down twitter rather than let it make her upset or sad. I say good for her. I think Nikki is great, maybe a little sheltered, I still get the vibe that she has never left home. But she is so good with her career and knowing who she is, that I hope by the end of their three weeks and the ten episodes we see that she and he are doing much better. She just went on vacation with JPG, so I would be sad if the confident, awesome woman that I liked and respected was still with him, if he hadn't learned.

Alanna wrote:
ITA with this post. And I know this isn't a popular opinion but I loved Andi's smackdown to him after their FS because she didn't just stand up for herself, she REALLY stood up for herself and for his behavior in general. He tried to treat her like a little kid, playing her hair, etc., and she showed that not only can she take him on with no fear, but she'll beat him at his own game. I pretty much cheered for her, regardless of whether or not I initially agreed with her actions, just the fact that she did it for all the women on that season was awesome to me.

While I don't think that altercation was necessarily very flattering to Andi, since it went on for far too long despite clearly falling on deaf ears, I did enjoy her voicing what was on most people's minds at that point in the season. It was nice to get confirmation that he is indeed that self-absorbed and socially clueless and it's not just editing. I'd lost all respect for him anyway due to how he handled the ocean situation, so I couldn't muster up much sympathy for him.

I must add that I hate when his behaviour is chalked up to him being a latino. I've known some latin guys like him and while they may be fun company in some ways, I wouldn't even consider dating them simply because I like to be treated as an equal and they don't even know how to do that. If you say anything they don't agree with they immediately try to devalue your opinion by being patronizing, addressing as you "little girl" or some such nonsense, because they don't seem to have the mental capacity to form an actual argument. I don't know if it's their upbringing or narcissistic personality traits that are more accepted in a paternal culture, but it's not something I would choose to deal with and I do wonder why anyone would. One of them is still single at 30+ because "no woman is good enough". More like no woman who is good enough would buy what he's selling.

That said, I also know latin guys who don't belittle women or treat them as inferior beings. Unsurprisingly they're more of the intellectual kind. Intelligent people are less prone to just go along with what's prevalent, be it in culture or other things. I would hate for them to be lumped in with guys like the former, simply because of their nationality. Culture doesn't stop you from using your own brain, if you've got one that works. So yes, I think Juan Pablo is simply stupid. Nikki may think their disconnet is due to a language barrier or different cultures, but one day she'll realise that no amount of cultural learning will reveal new facets of Juan Pablo, because there are none. I don't dislike him for anything he's done really, because he is honest and hasn't mislead Nikki in any way. I just think he's undateable to anyone with half a brain and a self-esteem and at some point I thought Nikki was one of those people.

Alanna wrote:ITA with this post. And I know this isn't a popular opinion but I loved Andi's smackdown to him after their FS because she didn't just stand up for herself, she REALLY stood up for herself and for his behavior in general. He tried to treat her like a little kid, playing her hair, etc., and she showed that not only can she take him on with no fear, but she'll beat him at his own game. I pretty much cheered for her, regardless of whether or not I initially agreed with her actions, just the fact that she did it for all the women on that season was awesome to me.

IA that Nikki is never going to "win" with him and he thinks she's a little girl that needs to be handled and told to stop whining. So sad. I don't know what her friends and family must think.

Andi stood up for a principle - she was expecting that JPG was making an honest attempt to select someone to begin a legitimate relationship with and was disillusioned when she found out that he had made little or no effort to get to know her. I totally understand why the show presented that smackdown the way they did because it wasn't only Andi that JPG had made little effort to get to know - it was Clare also ("I don't know you but ...") and for that matter, as we are seeing on CT, he's made little effort to get to know Nikki as well even months later. Andi was just the way they chose to present a common "issue" that affected all of the final 3 on that season.

I know that some feel their appearance on CT is a step to improve their relationship but ... really???? I believe in therapy for couples but that is not what CT is about. It's a reality TV show and it depends on drama to attract viewers (like all reality TV shows do) and if there isn't enough drama already, they will manufacture it. Group therapy? Has anyone actually considered the group? A porn star, someone from Jersey Shore, an ex Big Brother reality TV "star", a rap music bad-boy with past child support issues? Some group to learn about relationships from. I have trouble seeing this as a legitimate effort to improve their relationship; it just seems more like an effort to collect a paycheck by being outrageous on another reality TV show along with other couples also trying to be outrageous.

Lucas15 wrote:

Alanna wrote:ITA with this post. And I know this isn't a popular opinion but I loved Andi's smackdown to him after their FS because she didn't just stand up for herself, she REALLY stood up for herself and for his behavior in general. He tried to treat her like a little kid, playing her hair, etc., and she showed that not only can she take him on with no fear, but she'll beat him at his own game. I pretty much cheered for her, regardless of whether or not I initially agreed with her actions, just the fact that she did it for all the women on that season was awesome to me.

IA that Nikki is never going to "win" with him and he thinks she's a little girl that needs to be handled and told to stop whining. So sad. I don't know what her friends and family must think.

Andi stood up for a principle - she was expecting that JPG was making an honest attempt to select someone to begin a legitimate relationship with and was disillusioned when she found out that he had made little or not effort to get to know her. I totally understand why the show presented that smackdown the way they did because it wasn't only Andi that JPG had made little effort to get to know - it was Clare also ("I don't know you but ...") and for that matter, as we are seeing on CT, he's made little effort to get to know Nikki as well even months later. Andi was just the way they chose to present a common "issue" that affected all of the final 3 on that season.

I know that some feel their appearance on CT is a step to improve their relationship but ... really???? I believe in therapy for couples but that is not what CT is about. It's a reality TV show and it depends on drama to attract viewers (like all reality TV shows do) and if there isn't enough drama already, they will manufacture it. Group therapy? Has anyone actually considered the group? A porn star, someone from Jersey Shore, an ex Big Brother reality TV "star", a rap music bad-boy with past child support issues? Some group to learn about relationships from. I have trouble seeing this as a legitimate effort to improve their relationship; it just seems more like an effort to collect a paycheck by being outrageous on another reality TV show along with other couples also trying to be outrageous.

Lucas, a great, great POST, as usual.

There is, after all, lots of $$$ involved. The almighty dollar may be the root of it all. Who knows?

I've always liked Nikki and I'm a skeptic, but I still hope that with this "therapy", things will improve in their relationship. For her sake.

moved from Fan Forum

Columbia, MD wrote:I watched the "therapy" train wreck only because of JP and Nikki.  I saw him playing his little games.  IMHO he is stringing her along.  If he really loves Nikki and wants to marry her, he better step up to the plate fairly soon.  I think after a while she is going to get fed up with his lack of commitment and HE will get dumped....unless this therapy stuff turns him around.  I have my doubts.

Columbia, MD wrote:There is, after all, lots of $$$ involved.  The almighty dollar may be the root of it all.  Who knows?

Oh, for sure. Courtney Robertson said that she and Ben got offered $50,000 each to do it. In a podcast, she had said that everyone who does it is really doing it for the paycheck. I think that most of these people would get couples therapy on their own, if they felt that it was so necessary; I bet that JP doesn't even think that there's anything wrong with their relationship, except Nikki being so whiny about this whole love and commitment thing.

chasingpavements wrote:I think that most of these people would get couples therapy on their own, if they felt that it was so necessary;

IMO this is exactly right. I remember right after Sean's season someone pitched a reality TV show to Sean & Catherine about their lives in the "real world" and they turned it down because they didn't want to put their relationship into a situation where there would be manufactured drama. I think that was a very good decision on their part because even if you have no problems in your relationship, injecting manufactured drama runs the risk of creating relationship problems where none actually existed before.

This is why I don't see CT as a solution to relationship problems even though I totally believe that therapy for couples can be a good thing. CT isn't really therapy - it's manufactured reality TV drama and IMO is more bad than good for any relationship put through it. It is however good for the bank accounts of those who appear on it.

Since this is an active thread, would it possible to move it to make it more visabled instead of burying it?

Moved from the fan thread.

Ariela wrote:
I definitely agree that JPG not saying ILY to Nikki because of CULTURE is BS. I've dated Latino men and IMO they say ILU faster than American men. I know this is a fan forum, but I have to get this off my chest: I don't favor Nikki over JPG, or anything like that. However, I see the ILY issue a form of control and emotional torture; Nikki's chase is an EGO feeder for JPG. To me, JPG is using his culture as an excuse for his poor behavior. He'll keep on throwing a  bone to Nikki for as long he can. He's milking the spotlight...

He's enjoying Nikki chasing him and getting "the milk for free". I'm sure he cares for her, but something is missing for him, and THAT is why he is able to be callous....If you're truly in love, no matter what the culture, you lose control and become a slave to the emotion, rather than be in control, like JPG. Nikki will wake up one day, but not just yet. This relationship will give her "issues" for  future dating. I feel sorry for her, and feel that she's being disrespected by an egomaniac, and a fame seeker. Then again, she's a grown woman....