Tanner & Jade Tolbert - BIP 2 - Discussion

sosleepy wrote:

Diana wrote:

sosleepy wrote:You know what though? If I had married my husband 6 months into knowing him, we probably would have lacked that deep, emotional connection too. That takes time. Any marrieage that happens so quickly like this (even the core couples that wait like 1-1.5 years to marry), you are going to have growing pains and issues. Trista and Ryan managed to come on here looking stable because they had like a decade of trust between them.

I married my husband after six months and yeah we have "growing" pains but in no way we do lack the deep, emotional connection.

These two are such a mess. They should have never married in the first place.

There are always exceptions... of course. Just saying that after 10+ years with my husband, yeah, our emotional connection is leagues beyond where we were 6 months in. That grows with time.

I do not doubt that's true but something tells me Tanner is missing the sensitive chip and time is not going to help these two.

I agree about Tanner.^

Once again we're reminded about the huge gap between the 'SM' relationship and the real relationship with these people. You really never know.

Diana wrote:

sosleepy wrote:

Diana wrote:
I married my husband after six months and yeah we have "growing" pains but in no way we do lack the deep, emotional connection.

These two are such a mess. They should have never married in the first place.

There are always exceptions... of course. Just saying that after 10+ years with my husband, yeah, our emotional connection is leagues beyond where we were 6 months in. That grows with time.

I do not doubt that's true but something tells me Tanner is missing the sensitive chip and time is not going to help these two.

SIx months into my relationship with my husband is very different from years in. The rough edges tend to smooth out. I actually have hope for these two now that the issues are out in the open. I think seeing themselves so publicly with such raw honesty may shock them into wanting to change. Therapy would help- hope they do it. This was filmed months ago? and they are forging ahead with the house so hopefully they are on firmer ground. The first year of marriage is the roughest, at least as I see it.

I only watched a short preview clip and read this thread, but it leaves me so depressed...

I watched MBC for a bit last night.  They both appeared to be really unhappy.  Acting?  I don't know.  Actually IMHO the entire show has become a train wreck.

I don't why this show brings out the worst of these couples. The only one that seem to be fine and unscathed are Trista and Ryan but those two have a ten year marriage.

My opinion: if you have a good, strong foundation that was built over years, you are able to withstand challenges and stresses much better than fragile/newly built foundations.

StacyNor wrote:I don't why this show brings out the worst of these couples. The only one that seem to be fine and unscathed are Trista and Ryan but those two have a ten year marriage.

I agree with what Kasha said, but I can also think of two Bach married couples who, IMO, are solid and have marriages I admire -- at least from what I see on the outside.  They haven't had as much time as Trista and Ryan, but I'm impressed by their support for each other.

I don't think it's the show that brings out the worst.  It's the basic character and values of the people who go on.   Time will tell, but these two couples seem to put their marriages first.  They basically refused to kowtow to Fleiss after their Bach experiences, and I think that's made a big difference.

I hate to defend Tanner here but that exercise would not have worked on me either. I would either not believe it but try to play along or somehow buy into it and shut down completely. At least that is how I have reacted to loved ones dying in the past. I feel like Tanner and Jade should have stuck with he has a potty mouth and she is lazy. Somehow they got off script with this value as a human and in our relationship thing and it does not make them look good at all. Especially Tanner. All my opinion.

Diana wrote:

sosleepy wrote:

Diana wrote:
I married my husband after six months and yeah we have "growing" pains but in no way we do lack the deep, emotional connection.

These two are such a mess. They should have never married in the first place.

There are always exceptions... of course. Just saying that after 10+ years with my husband, yeah, our emotional connection is leagues beyond where we were 6 months in. That grows with time.

I do not doubt that's true but something tells me Tanner is missing the sensitive chip and time is not going to help these two.

I agree. I do think that the first year of a relationship is usually the hardest, because you're trying to figure out how to communicate with each other and how to support and better each other through life. That's going to take some trial and error. However...this seems different. It seems like there are deeper issues going on with Jade - it feels like she had been treated so horribly by men in her life that she immediately fell for this guy that finally seemed to accept and love her. I think she made the mistake in thinking that this guy was going to save her and give her that happy ending. However, I think she's still dealing with other issues, like depression and low self-esteem, and she probably hasn't recovered from her history. It feels like Tanner doesn't get that at all and doesn't want to help or understand her, but just expects her to immediately change so he's not inconvienced. I understand where his frustration is coming from, but if you love and respect someone, you don't deal with it this way. IMO.

The first year of my marriage was CRAZY. it was very hard and tough... but the second and the third year have been a blessing so far. we understand each other on such a deeper level more with time. I don't know how hard it would've been for us to deal with if I had my marital problems in a Reality show for the world to see and criticize.

That's their decision though, and they have no one to blame for it but themselves IMO

I wonder how much is exaggerated/set up for tv.