Rachel Lindsay - Bachelor 21 - *Sleuthing Spoilers* - #2

My doubts about Rachel have nothing to do with Vanessa either. I don't judge anyone harshly for fights/disagreements that happened on the show since it's not a normal environment. Hell, I was even defending Corinne till the WTA!

mindless wrote:
I do think she's a great catch and has every right to feel that way, but I do also think some humility would be a better look. I mean, we know you're a catch already, there's no need to keep driving home the point yourself. If you feel like you're single because men are intimidated by you, then starting off with "I'm great and you're lucky to meet me" probably doesn't help. Just saying.
JMO.

I think [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] articulated my thoughts perfectly .IMO No man worth his salt who has any self-respect would put up with someone who makes him feel like he is the lucky one to have her in his life irrespective of how accomplished she is. Relationships are between equals IMO and part of the reason why relationships fail in the Bachelor world esp is coz the lead-F1 don't get to the equal footing post show IMO.

I feel Rachel is already toeing that line before even meeting any of the guys. Time will tell if it's only Rachel's humor being misinterpreted or if she truly goes into relationships thinking she's all that.  

All JMO.

IMO, her story will be told by which hat she wears. It's going to be interesting if nothing else to see which one she wears best.

I have told moh that he is lucky to have me and he says the same to me. I know a lot of people who share this same sentiment, it just means everyone appreciates the presence of the other in their lives. I have never thought I am better than him just by saying that. It also means I know my worth as a person, a caring, loving and generous person who has a lot to give to whoever is lucky enough to be with me. "lucky to have me" is not necessarily a bad statement to make. IMO

I think I fit the Virgo profile pretty well- but only if pushed to the brink. Regarding Rachel- I really like her and I think she will make a great bachelorette. Looking forward to having an introverted bachelorette for once (I can relate),

coolangel wrote:
No man worth his salt who has any self-respect would put up with someone who makes him feel like he is the lucky one to have her in his life irrespective of how accomplished she is. Relationships are between equals IMO and part of the reason why relationships fail in the Bachelor world esp is coz the lead-F1 don't get to the equal footing post show IMO.
All JMO.

Both parties should feel lucky to have each other IMO. Maybe the reason Rachel's comments don't bother me (aside from me thinking it's true) is that when these women get eliminated on this show, It's always 'what's wrong with me' and I absolutely hate it. It's pathetic IMO.

Also using Vanessa as an example (this is not about her, she's just an example), there's always comments about her being from Montreal and how that might influence her behaviour. Well Rachel is a black woman in America. That probably also influences the way she acts IMO. She's said insecurities have played a role in her past relationships but there's no telling to what extent. In my experience, when people feel insecure they try to tear you down to build themselves up. IMO the way she carries herself now, her not being afraid to say that she knows she's a catch, makes me feel this probably happened to her. If being confident, knowing your self worth, not being afraid say it, wanting your partner to feel lucky to have you, makes others feel some type of way, that's an indication of how they feel about themselves rather than Rachel IMO. She shouldn't have to play coy or pretend any other way to make others feel comfortable IMO and I hope she doesn't. As with all leads, some will like her and others won't. All JMO.

sosleepy wrote:

bleuberry wrote:They must not lurk often enough. Not everyone likes Nick and/or Vanessa here .

Ain't that the truth. I think they are going to be a VERY polarizing couple. Sorry mod team. Y'all need a pay raise.   

RS's stupid Bimini exposé hurt Vanessa's image just as much, if not more than Rachel. It was clearly written with a "on Rachel's side" slant.

So to me, it either means the disagreement happened in front of other girls and there were multiple witnesses, or it's private and Rachel told someone who told RS. Jmo.

I liked at first Rachel and Vanessa were quiet on sm about it and I thought they were classy and mature. Then Rachel's IG live threw me off and gave me a bad taste. It's not because of Vanessa, but it's more about I had higher expectations of Rachel who seems to have many admirable qualities. I feel that she could ignore the questions or playing nice but I guess that's fake and not real, huh? But she's the lead now and she needs to play nice even though she may not feel it. Anyway, I don't think she's the worst person or the devil, I still like her, maybe not as much as before but I wish her well and finds her HEA.
Jmo.

ReneeM wrote:

coolangel wrote:
No man worth his salt who has any self-respect would put up with someone who makes him feel like he is the lucky one to have her in his life irrespective of how accomplished she is. Relationships are between equals IMO and part of the reason why relationships fail in the Bachelor world esp is coz the lead-F1 don't get to the equal footing post show IMO.
All JMO.

Both parties should feel lucky to have each other IMO. Maybe the reason Rachel's comments don't bother me (aside from me thinking it's true) is that when these women get eliminated on this show, It's always 'what's wrong with me' and I absolutely hate it. It's pathetic IMO.

Also using Vanessa as an example (this is not about her, she's just an example), there's always comments about her being from Montreal and how that might influence her behaviour. Well Rachel is a black woman in America. That probably also influences the way she acts IMO. She's said insecurities have played a role in her past relationships but there's no telling to what extent. In my experience, when people feel insecure they try to tear you down to build themselves up. IMO the way she carries herself now, her not being afraid to say that she knows she's a catch, makes me feel this probably happened to her. If being confident, knowing your self worth, not being afraid say it, wanting your partner to feel lucky to have you, makes others feel some type of way, that's an indication of how they feel about themselves rather than Rachel IMO. She shouldn't have to play coy or pretend any other way to make others feel comfortable IMO and I hope she doesn't. As with all leads, some will like her and others won't. All JMO.

And that is exactly what I mean when I say that relationships are between equals. That's what both people should feel about each other - not one person making the other person feel that. For me, personally when only one person does it, that's almost like saying that I could do better than you and/or I settled for you. Again JMO. Rachel hasn't even met any of these guys yet. I hope she doesn't go into the experience thinking she's all that coz I don't see that working out well - not on the show and not in real life.

All JMO.

For the record, I don't give a crap about the fight in Bimini, who started/ended it, the cause or if RS's account is accurate or not.  And RS certainly doesn't influence any opinions I have of the people that go on this show.  I take what he says into account and then put it a side until I can form my own opinion based on their attitudes and actions pre, during and post show on the show itself, interviews and their SM.  And some may argue that SM isn't accurate or give us a complete picture, but IMO its gives you enough of a glance into who a person is to form an opinion.  

I don't like or dislike Vanessa, Rachel or even Nick.  Some days I may like one better and another a little less, but it will be based on their own actions and merits.  Not what someone is telling me to think.  When you say and/or do dumb things, then I have no problem calling a spade a spade.  They all get the benefit of the doubt until they prove they no longer deserve it (for example: Josh and Amanda).  

At this point, I'm waiting to see what and how Rachel comes across.  Some of her actions have me SMH and questioning her but doesn't mean I dislike her.  And personally, I like that we don't all agree or see things the same way.  It allows for good discussion and lots of views of situations.  Sometimes, it makes me reconsider or see something in a way I hadn't before.  

I hope she finds someone that makes her happy, regardless if its for a short time or a life time, the same as I would any lead.  I want to like her, I just feel I don't know enough about her at this point to say I actually like her.  And I sincerely hope she turns out not to be anything like the last lawyer lead.  

JMOAA

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] hi!  And Happy Birthday (whenever it be)

ReneeM wrote:

coolangel wrote:
No man worth his salt who has any self-respect would put up with someone who makes him feel like he is the lucky one to have her in his life irrespective of how accomplished she is. Relationships are between equals IMO and part of the reason why relationships fail in the Bachelor world esp is coz the lead-F1 don't get to the equal footing post show IMO.
All JMO.

Both parties should feel lucky to have each other IMO. Maybe the reason Rachel's comments don't bother me (aside from me thinking it's true) is that when these women get eliminated on this show, It's always 'what's wrong with me' and I absolutely hate it. It's pathetic IMO.

Also using Vanessa as an example (this is not about her, she's just an example), there's always comments about her being from Montreal and how that might influence her behaviour. Well Rachel is a black woman in America. That probably also influences the way she acts IMO. She's said insecurities have played a role in her past relationships but there's no telling to what extent. In my experience, when people feel insecure they try to tear you down to build themselves up. IMO the way she carries herself now, her not being afraid to say that she knows she's a catch, makes me feel this probably happened to her. If being confident, knowing your self worth, not being afraid say it, wanting your partner to feel lucky to have you, makes others feel some type of way, that's an indication of how they feel about themselves rather than Rachel IMO. She shouldn't have to play coy or pretend any other way to make others feel comfortable IMO and I hope she doesn't. As with all leads, some will like her and others won't. All JMO.

I want to like this about a hundred times but only once is possible.

I don't feel like addressing much about this since I know my opinion is very unpopular so I'm going just follow you around and like your posts.

ReneeM wrote:

coolangel wrote:
No man worth his salt who has any self-respect would put up with someone who makes him feel like he is the lucky one to have her in his life irrespective of how accomplished she is. Relationships are between equals IMO and part of the reason why relationships fail in the Bachelor world esp is coz the lead-F1 don't get to the equal footing post show IMO.
All JMO.

Both parties should feel lucky to have each other IMO. Maybe the reason Rachel's comments don't bother me (aside from me thinking it's true) is that when these women get eliminated on this show, It's always 'what's wrong with me' and I absolutely hate it. It's pathetic IMO.

Also using Vanessa as an example (this is not about her, she's just an example), there's always comments about her being from Montreal and how that might influence her behaviour. Well Rachel is a black woman in America. That probably also influences the way she acts IMO. She's said insecurities have played a role in her past relationships but there's no telling to what extent. In my experience, when people feel insecure they try to tear you down to build themselves up. IMO the way she carries herself now, her not being afraid to say that she knows she's a catch, makes me feel this probably happened to her. If being confident, knowing your self worth, not being afraid say it, wanting your partner to feel lucky to have you, makes others feel some type of way, that's an indication of how they feel about themselves rather than Rachel IMO. She shouldn't have to play coy or pretend any other way to make others feel comfortable IMO and I hope she doesn't. As with all leads, some will like her and others won't. All JMO.

IMO BRILLIANT post, by far one of the best posts I've read of late on here, particularly because of how you unpack the importance of affirming one's self-worth in the face of an environment that breaks you down. I didn't grow up with US culture so I very much had to learn the way things work in this culture (and I am not trying to start a discussion about race or culture here and I am hopeful we will still respectfully be able to have those conversations) but I do agree with you that Rachel's environment and the fact that she is a black woman in america 100% plays a role in how she behaves. Some of the conversational/piques she uses and how she engages other people ie. language like 'I keep it 100% real' with a hint of dry humor and also her affirming her worth and who she exactly, I believe, is influenced by her environment particularly with being exposed to people who've made her feel less and not desirable because of who she exactly is. It is very complicated to try to explain or understand this psychology imo but I do believe that experience - her dealing with being in corporate america as a woman, her dealing with insecure suitors who rejected her for who she was, being a black woman in america ...all of those influence how she reacts and shape her lighthearted but firm: .... this is who I am and I affirm my worth despite your rejection of me.

remember what her comment was about the identity of her family "you don't have to be black to be in our family, but you do have to be thick skinned". I do believe being 'thick skinned' is a part of her strength and she has a particular way of engaging with that including affirming herself as she's done when Nick (a man who rejected her) was brought up or was present with her discussing her worth. I am actually excited to learn more about this complicated and interesting woman including understanding what drives her behavior...

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] & [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] I second both of your posts.  Well stated.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] & [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]......I read your posts & my mind just went to the black girl magic concept started by Cashawn Thompson....hopefully Rachel brings some of that this summer to the screen....we shall see.