Ben Higgins - Bachelor 20 - Discussion

It is really weird, that he's so much in LA right now. I guess his job is really flexible, because to me it looks like this podcast is his actual job. He, IMO, needs the limelight, but can't handle it if a woman has similar aspirations.

@sosleepy, you mentioned in a post some time back, that Ben called Lauren's blogging and desire to be a SAHM, as her retiring. That has still stuck to my head, it sounds so shady, IMO. I haven't seen this interview myself though, so I'm double checking from you.

Cocoasneeze wrote:It is really weird, that he's so much in LA right now. I guess his job is really flexible, because to me it looks like this podcast is his actual job. He, IMO, needs the limelight, but can't handle it if a woman has similar aspirations.

@sosleepy, you mentioned in a post some time back, that Ben called Lauren's blogging and desire to be a SAHM, as her retiring. That has still stuck to my head, it sounds so shady, IMO. I haven't seen this interview myself though, so I'm double checking from you.

I believe it was in one of their many interviews promoting HEA. It was in one of those silly games "how well do you know each other" or something like that. The question was something like "when will you stop working" and Ben's answer for Lauren was 27 cause she wanted to retire to be a SAHM. Something along those lines, I might be missing some details there. It was said kinda jokey, but you know, as a SAHM (for the time being), rubbed me the wrong way. I have days at home that I LONG to go back to my old life at work. SAHM is not retiring. Lmao. Opposite of retiring. But, you know, you don't get it until you live it, so I'll cut him some slack.

At the beginning of their relationship, pre-taping HEA Ben traveled a lot as well. I remember thinking that for being "settled" in Denver, they rarely spent two full weeks there. He was also traveling a lot post bachelorette, pre-taping the bachelor. Some people do this, I work with people who travel about 70% of their time. To the point it is easier to track when they are in the office rather than when they are on travel. In the office is much less frequent.

My impression was that Ben was not invited to be with Ben the last few months. So perhaps his laying low was less him pretending to be humble Ben, but more staying the heck out of Lauren's way? I honestly don't know.

Perhaps now that neither have to pretend both feel more comfortable to do what they want? Ben is also in the first week of promoting the podcast, which yes is a job, so he is out promoting it. We will see where they both are in a month. All JMO.

Also on the SAHM front, it is a full time hard as heck job. But don't you usually have to have kids to be a SAHM? Perhaps Ben was a bit annoyed at Lauren being a Stay At Home Fiancé? But being the ineloquent guy he is he put it wrong? Lauren seemed to be offered chance to work with Alaska Air in a non-FA role and was not interested. I don't completely blame Ben on this one. Lauren went from independent young woman to someone who was living off their relationship. I know CH said it, but it still was true. Lauren made their relationship and posting and blogging about it her job. It takes a special relationship to withstand that. Ben is not that strong guy, Ben is a guy who needs a strong woman. Perhaps Lauren needs a strong man? It is okay that they weren't what each other needed. I don't blame either of them for that. It happens more on this show than not. Honestly, the two married bachelor men both married women who could be strong enough to give up their lives to become part of the men's lives. It has been in two bachelorette relationships where we have seen the men move too and them build equally or on her turf. Even in the remaining bachelorette relationships the women moved to the men and built their lives where their men were.

It is usually the women adjusting. I think that is just our society, it takes an unique and special man to move for a woman. All JMO.

stuckinsc wrote:At the beginning of their relationship, pre-taping HEA Ben traveled a lot as well. I remember thinking that for being "settled" in Denver, they rarely spent two full weeks there. He was also traveling a lot post bachelorette, pre-taping the bachelor. Some people do this, I work with people who travel about 70% of their time. To the point it is easier to track when they are in the office rather than when they are on travel. In the office is much less frequent.

My impression was that Ben was not invited to be with Ben the last few months. So perhaps his laying low was less him pretending to be humble Ben, but more staying the heck out of Lauren's way? I honestly don't know.

Perhaps now that neither have to pretend both feel more comfortable to do what they want? Ben is also in the first week of promoting the podcast, which yes is a job, so he is out promoting it. We will see where they both are in a month. All JMO.

Also on the SAHM front, it is a full time hard as heck job. But don't you usually have to have kids to be a SAHM? Perhaps Ben was a bit annoyed at Lauren being a Stay At Home Fiancé? But being the ineloquent guy he is he put it wrong? Lauren seemed to be offered chance to work with Alaska Air in a non-FA role and was not interested. I don't completely blame Ben on this one. Lauren went from independent young woman to someone who was living off their relationship. I know CH said it, but it still was true. Lauren made their relationship and posting and blogging about it her job. It takes a special relationship to withstand that. Ben is not that strong guy, Ben is a guy who needs a strong woman. Perhaps Lauren needs a strong man? It is okay that they weren't what each other needed. I don't blame either of them for that. It happens more on this show than not. Honestly, the two married bachelor men both married women who could be strong enough to give up their lives to become part of the men's lives. It has been in two bachelorette relationships where we have seen the men move too and them build equally or on her turf. Even in the remaining bachelorette relationships the women moved to the men and built their lives where their men were.  

It is usually the women adjusting. I think that is just our society, it takes an unique and special man to move for a woman. All JMO.

I thought the same thing. IMO, Ben was totally supportive of the blogging because he thought Lauren would turn it into a career. She only has 57 posts in almost a year...that's a hobby. Most lifestyle bloggers post 5 days a week. Ben is a hard working, driven guy, so IMO, he probably wants a girl with a similar work ethic and drive (at least until they have children). IMO, she half-assed the blogging and didn't try to gain a sense of independence in Denver. IMO, I think the job thing is probably what led to Ben's initial hesitations about Lauren. I could see him bringing it up to her, Lauren getting defensive, and it going downhill from there. All JMO.

Was she a stay at home fiancée though? She may not be working a traditional job and we snarked on it a little, but I think she was doing well and bringing in money. Probably more than him. JMO.

bleuberry wrote:Was she a stay at home fiancée though? She may not be working a traditional job and we snarked on it a little, but I think she was doing well and bringing in money. Probably more than him. JMO.

When this was said, she hadn't started the blog and was doing random IG posts and snaps. So yes before HEA she was a SAHF. Post filming she got more active and probably started making more. Possibly she took it more seriously knowing she would have to support herself? This is just speculation on my part, opinion, no fact.

Ben's probably in LA the past week doing things, and then his spare time he's hanging with CH and his friend from UCLA. I wouldn't say the guy is a fame**** because he's in LA for a few days jeez
I think it was Mario Lopez who asked if they'd be doing the podcast in the same location or apart and they said they'll try to do it in the same place as much as possible, but will likely be apart. And yeah, I definitely got the impression that when Lauren was in LA or travelling wherever, Ben was not invited. He also appeared to working nonstop the last few months with his normal job..so Ben is free to go where he wants.

stuckinsc wrote:

bleuberry wrote:Was she a stay at home fiancée though? She may not be working a traditional job and we snarked on it a little, but I think she was doing well and bringing in money. Probably more than him. JMO.

When this was said, she hadn't started the blog and was doing random IG posts and snaps. So yes before HEA she was a SAHF. Post filming she got more active and probably started making more. Possibly she took it more seriously knowing she would have to support herself? This is just speculation on my part, opinion, no fact.

I'm assuming she's been supporting herself for some time now because who else was? Heck Ben didn't even go back to his traditional job until this year. Ben has taken plenty of leaves from work to allow him to film The Bachelorette, The Bachelor, HEA, and is now spending time in LA promoting the podcast. If he had an issue with Lauren regarding this, then it's a pot/kettle situation for me. But IMO this isn't something that bothered him because he was doing the exact same thing IMO.

IMO, Ben didn't have an issue with the SAHM thing. He always seemed super supportive of her blog. If I were Ben I'd be very annoyed with her taking off every week.

Lauren was working though, like @bleuberry said. Most of the events she was at last year, and this year also included work. Also, Ben was very willing to live off of their relationship himself, he signed on to do HEA, which was all based on their relationship. He's also now using the break up to promote the podcast. So, Ben can very well cash off their relationship, but Lauren can't?

The more I learn about Ben, tbh, the less I like him. He, IMO, comes across as his way or a tantrum happens, quite passive aggressive and willing to shade others. But he can't handle criticism himself, IMO.

@hannah.e.
When Ben initially picked Lauren and proposed to her twice, she was a flight attendant, wanting to go back to that job. She'd be taking off every week doing that job too. She was still making income during her trips, even though not flight attendant.

Just two weeks ago, Ben was in Florida on a business trip (one of several he has been on since January). Ben has also traveled back and forth to LA quite a bit this year, mostly for the Twins filming. He has also gone to Honduras, New York, Orlando, Vegas, Portland, and Indiana twice since January for non Talysis- related things. Idk anything about the work he does for Talysis, but based on interviews, he has been back full time since January, so my assumption is this is a job that he can do on the road. Right now he is in LA promoting and recording his podcast with Ashley. I understand that some people eyeroll at that, however, the podcast has been at number 1 on iTunes chart for tv and film since it's release Monday night and sitting at 36 all genre. Wednesday it was at number 17 all genre. (Just for comparison, the "here to make friends podcast" which is sitting at number 2 on the tv and film chart, is currently at 108 all genre) So it seems to me that there could be some real potential with their podcast and I hope that they put in maximum effort to really get it off the ground and running. 

Also, now knowing that this podcast has been in the works for months, how do we not know that this wasn't something ben was pursuing so that he and Lauren could spend more time in LA? Ben did an interview during filming the twins show talking about how Lauren would like to spend more time in LA and that for right now Denver was home but they were open to opportunitie. Maybe this was that opportunity to allow them to split their time between the two places?

stuckinsc wrote:

bleuberry wrote:Was she a stay at home fiancée though? She may not be working a traditional job and we snarked on it a little, but I think she was doing well and bringing in money. Probably more than him. JMO.

When this was said, she hadn't started the blog and was doing random IG posts and snaps. So yes before HEA she was a SAHF. Post filming she got more active and probably started making more. Possibly she took it more seriously knowing she would have to support herself? This is just speculation on my part, opinion, no fact.

They started filming for the HEA in July IMO. From the time they went public till July, both Ben and Lauren were busy making appearances, Ben wasn't working either. When this SAHM interview was done , they both had just finished filming their HEA. And Lauren had already done some modelling for the stylistla before the HEA . So I don't see truth in Lauren not wanting to work . IMO, Lauren was the one who bought more income initially in this relationship with making use of the oppourtunities provided . Ben only started his regular job early this year. IMO , if I am not wrong, it was discussed here at one point how lost Ben looked having no direction in his life workwise.JMO