Ben Higgins - Bachelor 20 - Discussion

I am not disrespecting anyone's opinion, but what should he say?

I guess he could have complained his fiancé seemed happier away from him than with him? Or her recent crotch shots weren't going to help him in politics or missionary work? He stayed classy and didn't blame her. Short of no comment what else should he say? Seems like he can't win.

All JMO.

ETA, while I don't doubt that Lauren knows him better than anyone else, I think their big problem was the lack of being friends and enjoying the same things. But plenty of people will be happy to watch shirtless Ben do carpentry. Whereas another unhappy couple doing a home improvement show, no thanks. Again JMO.

Well IMO he went a little too hard in the classy direction that I can see why people might think he isn't genuine.

Sally Sunshine

What he should've said was something like "Lauren and I were too different to make it work. I wanted things my way and she wanted things her way. We didn't agree on a lot of things which led to us going separate ways. I wish her nothing but the best."

You know, he'll be a great politician. He knows exactly how to BS.  

Ben said everything I expected him to say and I would have been shocked if his statement was anything other than what it was.

That said, it doesn't win any brownie points from me as it just comes across as sanctimonious IMO.

Even with his statement and his tweets and his new podcast with Ashley, all I know is I am liking Ben less and less since I've followed him more closely this past year.

Cila51290 wrote:Sally Sunshine

What he should've said was something like "Lauren and I were too different to make it work. I wanted things my way and she wanted things her way. We didn't agree on a lot of things which led to us going separate ways. I wish her nothing but the best."

You know, he'll be a great politician. He knows exactly how to BS.  

But then I could see people saying that is blaming her. There is no good answer and vanilla Ben has always been all about saying the right thing. After bachelorette 11 he went out of his way to be both pro-Shawn and pro-Nick. That is just who Ben is. I guess I don't see him any different than the guy he always was, not perfect at all, but completely unwilling to say the wrong thing either way. I guess maybe because I never expected anymore of Ben I don't find any of his behavior any different than he ever was. JMO.

stuckinsc wrote:I am not disrespecting anyone's opinion, but what should he say?

I guess he could have complained his fiancé seemed happier away from him than with him? Or her recent crotch shots weren't going to help him in politics or missionary work? He stayed classy and didn't blame her. Short of no comment what else should he say? Seems like he can't win.

All JMO.

ETA, while I don't doubt that Lauren knows him better than anyone else, I think their big problem was the lack of being friends and enjoying the same things. But plenty of people will be happy to watch shirtless Ben do carpentry. Whereas another unhappy couple doing a home improvement show, no thanks. Again JMO.

My opinion stems more from a collection of BSery from over the last several few months. Lauren was trying to be real and practically broadcasting that things were $hit on a stick. And Ben seemed hell bent on keeping the facade. Seriously was still "Golly gee, everything's swell! I'd marry that girl tomorrow!" I mean, up through just a few weeks ago with that nonsense, for realz. It's just too much, makes me not trust most things he says. It's his interview persona. Always on.

Don't get me wrong. Nice guy. Said all the right things. I just don't think any of it is incredibly genuine.

sosleepy wrote:

stuckinsc wrote:I am not disrespecting anyone's opinion, but what should he say?

I guess he could have complained his fiancé seemed happier away from him than with him? Or her recent crotch shots weren't going to help him in politics or missionary work? He stayed classy and didn't blame her. Short of no comment what else should he say? Seems like he can't win.

All JMO.

ETA, while I don't doubt that Lauren knows him better than anyone else, I think their big problem was the lack of being friends and enjoying the same things. But plenty of people will be happy to watch shirtless Ben do carpentry. Whereas another unhappy couple doing a home improvement show, no thanks. Again JMO.

My opinion stems more from a collection of BSery from over the last several few months. Lauren was trying to be real and practically broadcasting that things were $hit on a stick. And Ben seemed hell bent on keeping the facade. Seriously was still "Golly gee, everything's swell! I'd marry that girl tomorrow!" I mean, up through just a few weeks ago with that nonsense, for realz. It's just too much, makes me not trust most things he says. It's his interview persona. Always on.

Don't get me wrong. Nice guy. Said all the right things. I just don't think any of it is incredibly genuine.

As I said above, this was how I always saw Ben. The only time Ben didn't seemed concerned with saying the right thing was when he talks about his charity work. He feels true joy with that and it shows. The rest is Ben who wants to be liked and not ruffle feathers. JMO.

There's being PC and then there's just BS and IMO Ben lost me this year too with all his BS-ery. Saying everything is great and also having the audacity to give often unsolicited advice like he was better-than-thou yet his own relationship was dunzo if going by what was sleuthed back even the beginning of the year when he had his mommy and daddy with him on GMA while his fiance was MIA as usual and I thought it was so disingenuous how 'on' Ben was with his "everything is great" smile plastered on his face while Lauren was acting miserable at the time and singing to lyrics about being lonely and Ben going on about how great everything is - just so great - when it obviously wasn't even close to being "great". Ben reminded/reminds me of this...
 

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Personally I think he's somewhere between PC and BS. I think his intentions are to not make Lauren look like the bad guy so he's being overly complimentary. Anything he says with a slightly negative connotation will just make the crazies go nuts.

Well If I am not wrong , didn't Ben say that is how he handles the situation every time when it's tough. I remember their scene from HEA, when they both were at I heart festival and when the media started asking about the wedding dates etc after the wedding was called off by Ben,Lauren got so upset with Ben because she didn't felt comfortable lying and felt confused to how to answer it while Ben was chilled about it with his political correct answers and said that's how he copes with situation like those .Isnt how that scene played out??

Totally agree @AllAboutLove. Lauren even brought this up a few times on HEA. Most notably in that Vegas/road trip episode. Ben had just cancelled the wedding in real time. She was devastated. They were doing interviews at that iHeart festival, being questioned on repeat about their wedding, and she questioned how Ben could still be so on and happy and fake for the interviews/cameras, when her whole world had just come crumbling down.

Yeah that was totally a crappy thing to do IMO for Ben to do that on national television and I definitely think now in hindsight it was his way of breaking it off without really breaking it off. It really showed me how he is in a relationship and while he may be nice guy doing whatever elsewhere, in a relationship I wouldn't want someone I cared for to be with a person like that. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised though, this is after all the same guy who told two women he loved them but because he is Disney/perfect/vanilla Ben the audience glossed over it and IMO I think that will always be the case with Ben and Ben knows it IMO and uses it to his advantage. That's why I find Ben disingenuous and manipulative IMO but he can hide it really well because he is able to do it all with an "Awww shucks I am just humble ole Ben who has learnt so so much and my next chapter is going to be amazing".  

jmo