Bachelorette 14 - Becca Kufrin - Episode 4 - June 18th - *Sleuthing Spoilers*

ReneeM wrote:I don't think Kayla should have to come out and say anything. It's well within her rights if she wanted to considering what was said, but she didn't sign up to be a public figure and didn't invited strangers into her private life. All jmo.

No of course, she shouldn't have to say anything. But if what Garrett said was untrue, then it seems she would want to defend herself. Otherwise, folks might believe it's true. That's all.

I was reading the court documents. Garrett's lawyers were 3 women. Kayla's was one man. I find that to be interesting. Just thinking of the implications. Personally, imo, I think the divorce was straightforward, mutual, and not messy. When they petitioned, they had both already divided their assets.

Most meds and alcohol do not mix. I doubt if Garrett is on meds, but IMO he seems edgy on the show, a little off.  If he is on meds, he shouldn't be drinking, goes without saying. He's probably just nervous in front of the cameras constantly.

 IA. Kayla does not owe the world anything. If her current spouse and a few good people (who matter) know the truth, I think she is good. Why bother with a bunch of faceless, nameless people who have no impact on her life? I am surprised that Garrett could not or did not, tell Becca about his previous relationship using a more vague choice of words----Irreconcilable differences comes to mind, or we grew apart, or we wanted different things, or any of the other trite descriptors that people come up with. Or maybe I shouldn't be surprised, given his instagram activities - he was just being honest, forgetting that you don't hang your dirty laundry in public. OTOH, he might have been excited, carried away by Becca's radiance, the high octane date? Or maybe his lips just ran away from his brain's control? The way I see it, the marriage is over, Kayla has moved on and is married. So, here is hoping that Garrett can keep his lips buttoned, refrain from any further onscreen confessions the rest of the season or else it could get really messy and this thing with Becca will be over in a jiffy as well. AMO.

As I recall, when Amanda Stanton aired negativity about her children's father, most viewers by far believed her, and Nick was automatically guilty, as charged. Seems kind of backward now, when the guy airs the negativity. I'm guilty too. Just saying it's interesting. I want to hear from Kayla. I would like to hear her side, even though she doesn't owe anyone anything.

SFoster wrote:As I recall, when Amanda Stanton aired negativity about her children's father, most viewers by far believed her, and Nick was automatically guilty, as charged.  Seems kind of backward now, when the guy airs the negativity. I'm guilty too. Just saying it's interesting.  I want to hear from Kayla. I would like to hear her side, even though she doesn't owe anyone anything.  

This is a good example of something that is an opinion. Who are most viewers? Where are those stats?
This forum tries to differentiate fact from opinion from fiction because we have a large readership and do not want to lend anyone believing it represents something as fact that simply is opinion.

It will ultimately be up to Becca to figure out if Garrett is right for her or not. But with the questionable Instagram likes and *especially* the two-month change of heart on his marriage, that would be enough for me, personally, to nope my way out of there. I've turned away men that had a lot more going for them than Garrett over similar issues. But I'm not a risk taker when it comes to matters of the heart. There are more than enough nice guys out there (Hello, Blake?) for Becca to engage in needless romantic drama, especially when she has already been through two failed relationships. IMO

I have heard of rare cases where a spouse does a 180 degree turn right after the marriage. So what Garrett is saying is certainly possible. But I also think it's possible that he was the one who did the 180.

Kashathediva wrote:

SFoster wrote:As I recall, when Amanda Stanton aired negativity about her children's father, most viewers by far believed her, and Nick was automatically guilty, as charged.  Seems kind of backward now, when the guy airs the negativity. I'm guilty too. Just saying it's interesting.  I want to hear from Kayla. I would like to hear her side, even though she doesn't owe anyone anything.  

This is a good example of something that is an opinion. Who are most viewers?  Where are those stats?
This forum tries to differentiate fact from opinion from fiction because we have a large readership and do not want to lend anyone believing it represents something as fact that simply is opinion.

Sorry, @Kashathediva, I don't recall an exact number of those bashing Nick. But I distinctly remember being the only one coming to his defense on fb. And I was a fan of Amanda's. I believed his story when he defended himself and he seemed like a great dad. I could have been totally wrong. Just my opinion. Didn't mean to offend anyone.

@SFoster  it’s not offensive to me.  
Like I mentioned above, facts vs opinion are important to differentiate from, if only to differentiate ourselves (BBF) as better than that, better than repetitively posting something and liking something or up voting something because it’s the majority opinion.  Because something is supported by a majority or shouted the loudest does not make it right or fact.
We try to encourage all opinions and hope they are stated as such.

Kolormiblnd wrote:  IA. Kayla does not owe the world anything. If her current spouse and a few good people (who matter) know the truth, I think she is good. Why bother with a bunch of faceless, nameless people who have no impact on her life? I am surprised that Garrett could not or did not, tell Becca about his previous relationship using a more vague choice of words----Irreconcilable differences comes to mind, or we grew apart, or we wanted different things, or any of the other trite descriptors that people come up with. Or maybe I shouldn't be surprised, given his instagram activities - he was just being honest, forgetting that you don't hang your dirty laundry in public. OTOH, he might have been excited, carried away by Becca's radiance, the high octane date? Or maybe his lips just ran away from his brain's control? The way I see it, the marriage is over, Kayla has moved on and is married. So, here is hoping that Garrett can keep his lips buttoned, refrain from any further onscreen confessions the rest of the season or else it could get really messy and this thing with Becca will be over in a jiffy as well. AMO.

The thing is though, it was a 2-month marriage. No one grows apart in 2 months or finds out they want different things (unless they got married at first sight or didn't communicate at all prior to marriage). Something pretty major had to have happened for them to give up so quickly and I think Garrett kind of had to express that. He was talking to a woman who was literally proposed to and dumped within 2 months herself. You could see the blood drain from her face when she heard about Garrett's quickie union. I'm sure he would've preferred to flesh out the details in private, but that's not an option until FS and by then it could've been too late. I hate to defend Garrett, since I don't even like him at all, but he was in a tough spot and the show is what it is. JMOAA.

IA that Garrett was in a tough spot but for me if he didn't have anything to hide he could have chose different wording simply stating I realized we weren't the match I thought we were or I'm not totally blameless but I realized it was a mistake, it wasn't the marriage that I expected it to be, she wasn't who I thought she was, she changed, I realized I really wasn't in love, however he chose to blame someone else with a very strong accusation thrown in. Even if it was all totally her fault, he cold have shown some sort of desire to protect her, not defend her but not put it all out there when she has no say on national TV. If it was really emotional abuse, I would think he would have learned from it, advocate for the cause and maybe we would have seen that in his IG instead of the opposite. Emotional abuse in men is not widely known IMHO, he could have made some sort of impact to help others. Instead he displayed what I think is one of the traits of emotional abuse behaviour by simply throwing the blame all on her.  

It's childish behaviour, it's not my fault mom, she did it.

That in itself add's to the   for me.

mindless wrote:

Kolormiblnd wrote:  IA. Kayla does not owe the world anything. If her current spouse and a few good people (who matter) know the truth, I think she is good. Why bother with a bunch of faceless, nameless people who have no impact on her life? I am surprised that Garrett could not or did not, tell Becca about his previous relationship using a more vague choice of words----Irreconcilable differences comes to mind, or we grew apart, or we wanted different things, or any of the other trite descriptors that people come up with. Or maybe I shouldn't be surprised, given his instagram activities - he was just being honest, forgetting that you don't hang your dirty laundry in public. OTOH, he might have been excited, carried away by Becca's radiance, the high octane date? Or maybe his lips just ran away from his brain's control? The way I see it, the marriage is over, Kayla has moved on and is married. So, here is hoping that Garrett can keep his lips buttoned, refrain from any further onscreen confessions the rest of the season or else it could get really messy and this thing with Becca will be over in a jiffy as well. AMO.

The thing is though, it was a 2-month marriage. No one grows apart in 2 months or finds out they want different things (unless they got married at first sight or didn't communicate at all prior to marriage). Something pretty major had to have happened for them to give up so quickly and I think Garrett kind of had to express that. He was talking to a woman who was literally proposed to and dumped within 2 months herself. You could see couldthe blood drain from her face when she heard about Garrett's quickie union. I'm sure he would've preferred to flesh out the details in private, but that's not an option until FS and by then it could've been too late. I hate to defend Garrett, since I don't even like him at all, but he was in a tough spot and the show is what it is. JMOAA.

It was a two month marriage but a longer relationship. As some have said here, people change, and sometimes the change happens after marriage. Garrett could have said whatever he wanted to say about his marriage a different way, still explaining the situation and still reassuring Becca. Remember, he is 29 now, when he was younger, he picked a partner and it did not work out. They divorced. He is now older and wiser and knows what he wants and the kind of partner he wants it with. I want to believe that Becca would have understood that explanation. Not everyone marries their high school sweetheart or first love, Becca sure didn't. If he and Becca were meant to be, he would still have made FS without blaming his ex completely for the end of their marriage.

I don't believe that whatever broke them up had to be huge. Some couples dig their heels in, over mundane things these days, drift apart and divorce. Some realize after marriage that the daily reality of the person (man/woman) they married is very different from the person they dated, even if they were living together prior. ----- not saying that this is true for everyone, but it is true for some.

The issue of abuse, is a serious one no matter who was being abused and who was doing the abusing. Right now we only have one side of the story. There are still two sides outstanding....hers and the truth. AMO.

IMO, Garrett just might be one of those guys that pretend/ act they way through adulting but is like a big man child who goofs around and does not think about consequences until caught and called out on.