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MAFS - Season 4 - Derek Schwartz - Heather Seidel

Ruqibabe wrote:
jupitercornflakes wrote:
Ruqibabe wrote:

1. When did she start acting cold/checked out? Day 2. Watch the preview video. He asked her about it on day 5 but she started withdrawing on day 2. This proves that your severAL days in a row logic is flawed.
Society has taught women to be quiet. This is the same woman that told Derek to stop kissing her shoulder because she hates forced affection. She also told him not to hold her hands. Some women keep quiet when it favors them or maybe they need a get out of jail card.

2. The only cruel comment I heard was the spring chick/milk comment. I am trying to figure out the others. The spring chick comment was made to the camera when I assumed they asked for his opinion. I wonder what we would say when we say things at our lowest times. He was definitely wrong for saying that. Let's keep in mind that Heather inferred that he was classless and immoral. She also said he was acting like a tennager and a child. They have both said hurtful things to each other.

We are wondering why women are told to stay with 'losers'. So you know he is a loser after watching a heavily edited show. People that have known him for a while attested to it that he is a standup guy. BTW i havnt seen anyone anonymous person say otherwise (remember David). Women that are quick to judge should never sign up for this show.

When has contracts ever stopped anyone. Ashley and family went all out last season. Ryan D and Jess were at each other's neck on instagram. I follow him on instagram and twitter. I have never heard him say anything bad abt her. Infact he has defended her.

Regarding the spring chick comment, he did say he was a bit salty. I saw that has taking ownership. I don't think it's difficult to believe that people say terrible things at their lowest moment.

https://twitter.com/derek_mafs/status/768263767251644416

This is all my opinion

1. Editing can make anyone look cold. Reality show producers have admitted that they can edit a person to seem any way that they want.

2. When he was shouting at her he told her that if she was so great she wouldn't have been single.

Anyone who treats someone the way Derek treated Heather is a loser IMO. I'm not going to support men who think it is ok to verbally abuse women for any reason.

Saying he was being salty was not taking ownership, IMO. He did not acknowledge the true nature of what he did. The things he said to her were the same things that anyone who has worked in family services knows to look out for because it was verbal abuse. So until he acknowledges that he was being verbally abusive, then no he is not taking ownership.

Ashley was being viciously attacked for not wanting to married to a violent man. The show didn't have a leg to stand on with Ashley. It is rather upsetting that people are still going after Ashley, even though they know the truth about David.

1. So we are back to editing now. We are to blame editing for making Heather look bad and not Derek. Double standard.
I love backing my words with proof. Nick and Pastor Calvin spoke for Derek when people were ready to have his head for THAT comment. They definitely have better insight so I trust them. **edited**. Since Heather is in good terms with Nick. See her tweets for proof.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10108066078211453&id=5211570&fs=4

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10155218453879251&id=641559250

2. How is you would remain single if you continue like this a verbal abuse? When a man tell a woman the truth he is abusive.. how is he treating her? Apart from the milk/sing chick comment, I don't understand your point.

David that never attacked Ashley even though she went all mean on him on twitter is also called abusive? The truth abt David.. so because David had a record that was long time ago, we are assuming he is abusive. On the other hand, Heather was arrested for DUI and possession less than 5yrs ago and she isnt an alcoholic. IMO #doublestandard

1. He did shout at her. That had nothing to do with editing. He chose to make statements that were derogatory about Heather. No one forced him to do those things.

2. IMO it is not conducive to relationships or the discussion of them to give incorrect definitions. There is a difference between the truth and being verbally abusive . IMO, that is something that mature adults understand, and Derek clearly doesn't understand that. Derek does not know anything about Heather, so when he attacked her past relationships and her being single, he was not telling the truth, because he was talking about something he doesn't know anything about. He also went to far in telling her that she was single because something was wrong with her. And there was the attack behind her back about her appearance.

And he slipped up when he was talking about her. I have pointed that out before in a different post. He made several statements about how she was drinking too much. But that doesn't track with what he said later. During the dinner at the end of the honeymoon where she was telling him to "chug it" he said this was the closest to flirting with him she had gotten, he speculated that is was because she was tipsy. But according to him, she was drinking the whole trip. But then wouldn't she have been tipsy previously? His statements are inconsistent. Where is the truth? IMO, Derek doesn't understand how the truth works. Apparently Heather having a drink only really matters when he is defensive about his own habitual pot use.

Also David did act aggressive towards Ashley, he was shown slamming doors and storming out of the room. He yelled at her for things that had nothing to do with her. David also lied about his record from years ago. If he was a changed man, he never would have lied about it last spring.

And unless she has deleted it, I don't see any attacks on David from Ashley on twitter. She doesn't even appear to be that active of a twitter user.

MAFS - Season 4 - Derek Schwartz - Heather Seidel

jupitercornflakes wrote:
Ruqibabe wrote:
jupitercornflakes wrote:

1. It matters because you cannot get to know someone who is high. And I'm willing to bet she said it was ok because she didn't expect him to get high several days in a row. And the reason many women don't speak their minds is because society has taught women to to be quiet and not make waves.

2. You can have an argument without making abusive comments. But that is not what Derek did. He made several statements that were very cruel and very personal. That is not what adults do. She did not do that to him. She kept her comments to how he was behaving.

I'm tired of seeing women told they need to make it work with losers, while no one ever focuses on how these men behave.

The only reason he is not blatantly insulting her on SM is because he would risk violating his contract with the show. That hasn't stopped him from making comments that are veiled insults. And it is worth noting that he did not take ownership of the the unacceptable things he said. He made a pathetic excuse and as usual few people take him to task for it.

1. When did she start acting cold/checked out? Day 2. Watch the preview video. He asked her about it on day 5 but she started withdrawing on day 2. This proves that your severAL days in a row logic is flawed.
Society has taught women to be quiet. This is the same woman that told Derek to stop kissing her shoulder because she hates forced affection. She also told him not to hold her hands. Some women keep quiet when it favors them or maybe they need a get out of jail card.

2. The only cruel comment I heard was the spring chick/milk comment. I am trying to figure out the others. The spring chick comment was made to the camera when I assumed they asked for his opinion. I wonder what we would say when we say things at our lowest times. He was definitely wrong for saying that. Let's keep in mind that Heather inferred that he was classless and immoral. She also said he was acting like a tennager and a child. They have both said hurtful things to each other.

We are wondering why women are told to stay with 'losers'. So you know he is a loser after watching a heavily edited show. People that have known him for a while attested to it that he is a standup guy. BTW i havnt seen anyone anonymous person say otherwise (remember David). Women that are quick to judge should never sign up for this show.

When has contracts ever stopped anyone. Ashley and family went all out last season. Ryan D and Jess were at each other's neck on instagram. I follow him on instagram and twitter. I have never heard him say anything bad abt her. Infact he has defended her.

Regarding the spring chick comment, he did say he was a bit salty. I saw that has taking ownership. I don't think it's difficult to believe that people say terrible things at their lowest moment.

https://twitter.com/derek_mafs/status/768263767251644416

This is all my opinion

1. Editing can make anyone look cold. Reality show producers have admitted that they can edit a person to seem any way that they want.

2. When he was shouting at her he told her that if she was so great she wouldn't have been single.

Anyone who treats someone the way Derek treated Heather is a loser IMO. I'm not going to support men who think it is ok to verbally abuse women for any reason.

Saying he was being salty was not taking ownership, IMO. He did not acknowledge the true nature of what he did. The things he said to her were the same things that anyone who has worked in family services knows to look out for because it was verbal abuse. So until he acknowledges that he was being verbally abusive, then no he is not taking ownership.

Ashley was being viciously attacked for not wanting to married to a violent man. The show didn't have a leg to stand on with Ashley. It is rather upsetting that people are still going after Ashley, even though they know the truth about David.

1. So we are back to editing now. We are to blame editing for making Heather look bad and not Derek. Double standard.
I love backing my words with proof. Nick and Pastor Calvin spoke for Derek when people were ready to have his head for THAT comment. They definitely have better insight so I trust them. **edited**. Since Heather is in good terms with Nick. See her tweets for proof.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10108066078211453&id=5211570&fs=4

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10155218453879251&id=641559250

2. How is you would remain single if you continue like this a verbal abuse? When a man tell a woman the truth he is abusive.. how is he treating her? Apart from the milk/sing chick comment, I don't understand your point.

David that never attacked Ashley even though she went all mean on him on twitter is also called abusive? The truth abt David.. so because David had a record that was long time ago, we are assuming he is abusive. On the other hand, Heather was arrested for DUI and possession less than 5yrs ago and she isnt an alcoholic. IMO #doublestandard

Sean & Catherine Lowe - Fan Forum - Twitter - Facebook - Discussion Thread #67

I feel the need to included [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] to every one of these. [You must be [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] and [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] to see this image.]

@SeanLowe09 This baby is showing no interest in the things I have to say, but when he cries, I'm supposed to give him my full attention. [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Bachelor 19 - Becca Tilly #3

nutty1 wrote:Here is my biggest question about Becca…..would a 25 year old never been in love virgin who lives in CA really want to marry a 33 yr old who wants kids sooner than later and move to the middle of nowhere??

If I were a huge Becca fan, I wouldn't even want her to end up as the F1.

Much like last season where I did not like Andi much at all, if she made Nick happy and chose him, then I would be happy to support that.

As for the living in CA part, she moved to be with her sister, then stayed, I believe Dez Duron, who is majorly hot I liked him a lot on the Voice was there too. I went to Texas for undergrad and decided to stay, it fit and was right at the time. I find her living in CA not different from Whitney who has chosen very large towns to live in would want to move to rural Iowa, if you love the person you do it.

Pia1 wrote:
nutty1 wrote:I think the reason Becca is fine is because she has now been out of the bubble for quite a while and realizes she never truly loved Chris, nor wanted to move to Arlington.
She will find a great guy, who is perfect for her.

Based on what we were shown I don't think she was ever in the bubble. She just seemed realistic and level headed.

Chrisbecca wrote:Being nosey, I looked up Beccas Pinterest. She liked a quote that said, "It is better to be single with high standards than in a relationship settling for less".

She "liked" that a year ago. What we are seeing on tv I think is she being her true self.

Becca is criticized because she didn't want to play TPTB's game. I find that refreshing, it makes me happy to see someone being true to themselves and not being manipulated to act faster than they want. Integrity is lacking more and more in this series, so criticizing someone for having it is hilarious to me.

Ladybug82 wrote:I think Becca went on the show for the same reasons as many others, the adventure of it...both travel and the idea of getting to know the lead and possibly getting a relationship out of it. Maybe she wanted to shake things up and do something outside of her comfort zone?

I don't see her being a virgin, going on the show or being slower paced and taking a realistic approach to all of this, instead of the in the bubble immediate lust and love a problem and actually find it somewhat refreshing. And I tend to believe it more than being convinced your in love with the lead the minute the limo door opens and so all in that I'm not sure you give yourself time to really know the person and evaluate if he's right for you or if the relationship will be right for you. But that's what makes the board interesting and the world go round...that we don't all see things the same way and are allowed to share our differing opinions.

Love, love, love this post.

Litta123 wrote:
julychild wrote:
soccermom333 wrote:Did anyone else see what looks to be Chris and Becca fighting on their LCD??!! I can't wait for screen caps. ;)

Couples argue and this is by no means a deal breaker, but just curious what they were arguing about?? I forgot to mention I believe Chris and Becc's storyline is very similar to Jillian's and Ed's. (Of course Ed was no where near being a virgin!) Hehe I am talking story line, story board.

That scene from the preview: Chris saying to Becca "What do you want?" (a la Noah to Allie), plus the Ferris wheel ride, to the canoe in the bayou, to Chris saying "do you want to get in the water?" Straight out of The Notebook!

It's all about first love, people!

I love this...great observation, jc!

Btw, I'm working on the caps. So much slicing and dicing in this past episode. I noticed last night that for one of Chris's PIs that was shown during Whitney's date, he had on his shirt for Becca's date. I don't recall his exact quote, but I remember he used the word "love" in it...not that he was in love, but maybe falling...or something he loved about her...I don't recall exactly. But I would bet because of the outfit, it was really a statement about Becca.

On a completely different note, it's actually refreshing to see Chris and Becca fight a little. It's more like real life...nobody's just showing his/her good side in order to end up with one another. Conflict is normal, obviously. It's about navigating to the other side and staying on the same team while you do. Am I remembering correctly? Hasn't Chris alluded to compromise post filming?

Okay, lunch break over...back to capping.

I like that we see these two developing a real relationship and having real conversations. It is refreshing to me.

albean99 wrote:It's not that being a virgin is a bad thing at all but it's not something you keep from someone you're supposed to be falling for imo. She hid a pretty important part of who she is until the last possible moment. On the other side of it, if it's not a big deal why wouldn't she have felt comfortable telling him when there was a chance he'd be meeting her family? I got the feeling she was nervous about his reaction and therefore put it off as long as she could. A little sign of immaturity? Maybe.

I have heard all season everytime Chris did something questionable that it was TPTB making him or encouraging him to do it. I can believe that TPTB encouraged her to wait. And why should she have to tell him until it came up on an intimacy level?

Maggenzm wrote:
albean99 wrote:It's not that being a virgin is a bad thing at all but it's not something you keep from someone you're supposed to be falling for imo. She hid a pretty important part of who she is until the last possible moment. On the other side of it, if it's not a big deal why wouldn't she have felt comfortable telling him when there was a chance he'd be meeting her family? I got the feeling she was nervous about his reaction and therefore put it off as long as she could. A little sign of immaturity? Maybe.

Not at all, she is very mature. Why tell him unless you know you are going to stay? it is not a disease, and I don't think it matters when he knew.
Heck, he doesn't need to keep her now, he could still send her home as F3 or ever F2, but he knew in his gut, in his soul, he just can't let Becca go, she is the one he wants

I really find people vilifying someone chose to save their virginity for their husband ridiculous. To me it is an admirable thing to do.

Hopefully wrote:I think she should be with Russal Willson from the Seattle S. he is just a hottie IMO and he has a lot of the same values .. Now that's eye candy yum. I hope that if she is the F1 she walks she's way to good for him. I herd Wilson's in L A tooooo...

He is married I believe, has been since he played in college.

mindless wrote:I love this tweet from her ex:

@DezDuron

Girls tellin @beccatilley5 shes wrong to wait this long to say shes a virgin should start tellin guys your kill count on date 1 #Hypocrites

Ash2214 wrote:^ I liked it too. He even took it further by tweeting these as well:

Dez Duron @DezDuron
Same girls judging her for being a virgin are the same girls posting relentlessly against sl** shaming #DoubleStandard #ChoicesAreChoices

Dez Duron @DezDuron
This is virginity! Not an STD! Girls always saying it shouldn't matter to a guy how many people a girls been with...unless she's a virgin?!

Not only is he super, super attractive but Dez seems really protective, sweet and has a great head on his shoulders.

Love Dez standing up for Becca.

bleuberry wrote:Do you guys see Chris getting engaged to Becca and waiting until marriage? I don't. Though I'm not sure if Becca has said she's waiting or that she just hasn't found the right person yet. I just can't imagine that, knowing what we know about Chris.

My female best friend in undergrad was a virgin when she married at 27 or 28 years old. Her husband, who was her best friend for many years before she finally agreed to date him, was a complete manwhore before she agreed to date him. I mean a different girl every night every week, who was a real favorite among the numerous sorority girls at Texas. They were together for almost five years before they married as her very conservative father would not give permission until she finished her PhD. So yes, for love this reformed manwhore went without sex for five years. For the right woman, the right man will give it up for a while.

Becca saved this horrible season for me. She and Kaitlyn were the breath of fresh air in a season of tragedy trumping for roses, a lead who did what ever TPTB told him and the second spoiled F1 in a two seasons who just know they are in love with the lead without bothering to actually get to know the lead for who they really were.

If Becca is happy and she certainly seems to be, then I am happy how ever it ends.

If Chris chose Whitney, I think it will be a lot like Brad making up things to Emily. So that sounds like tons of fun to me.

Bachelor 19 - Becca Tilly #3

^ I liked it too. He even took it further by tweeting these as well:

Dez Duron @DezDuron
Same girls judging her for being a virgin are the same girls posting relentlessly against sl** shaming #DoubleStandard #ChoicesAreChoices

Dez Duron @DezDuron
This is virginity! Not an STD! Girls always saying it shouldn't matter to a guy how many people a girls been with...unless she's a virgin?!

Not only is he super, super attractive

but Dez seems really protective, sweet and has a great head on his shoulders.