Fun Times with Bachelorette 7

richlp wrote:

CarrieAlexander wrote:I had the premier running in the background on my laptop and just happened to pause it before I got up to leave the room.. can back to find this on my screen. SO AWESOME.

"Ashley you will go in there and you will find love! By the power invested in this series I now pronounce you THE NEW BACHELORETTE. Remember, no regrets girl."

bluwavz wrote:

richlp wrote:

That's awesome. :laughingoutlou

CarrieAlexander wrote:I had the premier running in the background on my laptop and just happened to pause it before I got up to leave the room.. can back to find this on my screen. SO AWESOME.

"Ashley you will go in there and you will find love! By the power invested in this series I now pronounce you THE NEW BACHELORETTE. Remember, no regrets girl."

The Bachelorette: Overnights or Over It?

By Lily Sparks July 26, 2011 11:33 AM

This season of The Bachelorette has been less a high-production dating game and more of a silent war between Ashley and the production executives of ABC. There’s not a doubt in my mind that when they cast Bentley and began filming, they had knowingly cast a villain and vaguely mapped a storyline that would include him among the final three. But their ratings-making anti-hero held not only Ashley in contempt but ABC’s entire production, and now they are in a state so desperate they had to resort to bringing back Ryan and a rose ceremony with two guys and two roses. KHARMA!

Much the way I'm sure Ashley did not tell the production staff that she was going to dismiss Ryan during their first one-on-one date, (he had to walk into town to secure a taxi) Ashley was equally surprised to see a man she had firmly rejected re-appearing in Fiji.



What pretext was there for him to be in Fiji? He was de-rosed. I’m certain he made the call to ABC about getting another chance, but probably half the guys on the show do that. I think production got his call, imagined Ashley’s face if he returned and all just started cackling. Although I also like the idea he just paid out of pocket to fly to Fiji and charged through the hungle until he saw cameras. That would also explain him taking cover in a sea cave.



I don’t blame them for bringing Ryan back, despite it making no sense, because it added an interesting 10 minutes onto the lowest-stakes overnight-date episode I’ve ever seen. Ashley is just as insecure as ever. She basically talked Constantine into a corner until he was forced to leave the proceedings. He said he was trying to be respectful of her given what the fantasy suite “implies” but a fat man does not leave a table with that much steak on his plate unless he’s truly annoyed.



This is what we call self-sabotage, Ashley. You kept a guy around because you respected how much he didn’t like you, and guess what? Turns out he doesn’t like you. And what exactly DOES the Fantasy Suite imply? Contestants swear up and down that its just a chance to have 12 hours alone in a room together, but based on footage from Jillian’s season where Ed had erectile dysfunction, and Ashley hopping out of the bathroom in an oversized men's dress shirt, I think we can conclude its a Naked Stuff Test Drive.

Ashley gave herself an ego boost after Constantine "peaced out" by dismissing Ryan again. He took it weirdly hard. He is in such a movie in his mind, and it is the worst movie ever.



So Ashley canoodled uneventfully with Ben and JP, who both joined her in the Fantasy Suite. (For, it can be assumed, X-RATED HOT TIMES!) I loved her no-make up look this episode. But I do feel weird when I see her with such tall guys without her heels.



She’s a little…just a wee bit- she looks fourteen!! Four effing teen!! Even Ben seemed really nervous about putting on sunscreen, like the To Catch a Predator group was about to hop out of a porthole on the yacht.

They had a no-stakes rose ceremony, which served more to reinforce that these fine two men had sold their public images to the Devil more than anything else.



... and then released the torrent of “COMING UP NEXT WEEK”…my favorite episode, of course, the Talk with the Guys episode.



...and also more footage of everyone’s favorite! Bentley apparently has some yet-unseen Hong Kong footage where he declares he’s better in bed than every other guy on the show. I’m sure John Wayne Gacy thought he was the best at tying balloon animals, but it doesn’t make either of you less of a creep. This guy is so deeply immature, his priorities so severely out of whack, I kind of can’t wait to see what comes out of his crazy mouth next when he’s surrounded by the guys who’s sexual prowess he’s secretly estimating.

QUESTIONS:

…Does ABC secretly hate Ashley?

…Is the Fantasy Suite concept pervy/voyeuristic/ weird you out?

…Is Bentley the best at sex or simply the best at being a provocateur?

She’s a little…just a wee bit- she looks fourteen!! Four effing teen!! Even Ben seemed really nervous about putting on sunscreen, like the To Catch a Predator group was about to hop out of a porthole on the yacht.

richlp wrote:

She’s a little…just a wee bit- she looks fourteen!! Four effing teen!! Even Ben seemed really nervous about putting on sunscreen, like the To Catch a Predator group was about to hop out of a porthole on the yacht.