The Bachelor Canada - Season 2 - Episode 9-10 Two Part Finale - Discussion - *Spoilers*

djogbenyuie wrote:

northernviewer wrote:I think her feelings while filming took her by surprise.. and both her and Tim have said, it got very real.  

I think she went into this for the adventure, hoping to go see some sites outside of Canada, and was taken by surprise how she ended up developing real feelings for the Bachelor.  It appears that she felt the mutual attraction, but was very realistic about the fact that she could be fooled like so many have.  I'm sure she listened to Kaylynn go on and on and on about the connection she had with Tim so that would have given her reason to sit back and observe and hold back from making herself look foolish.  I think she was ever mindful of the cameras and didn't ever  want to embarrass herself by being part of a one-side relationship.  

i'm not so sure about the bold cause since the first night she was about finding if Tim can be the one for her (Cf. their first convo).

Also she said that she got signed in the show by a friend (i don't remember in which itv i've seen that, if someone has the source please bring it over).
So yeah she is realistic but i don't think she was that taken off guard. she knew what she wanted to find in this and i don't think it was just for fun at the beginning. IMO

AllAboutLove wrote:

sophienette wrote:

djogbenyuie wrote:I love the way you put it NV.

I will add to that that her fears are a lot more complicated than that.


It is a mix of:
- She is not getting the time she needs to completely let her guards down.
She has expressed that on the boat and when alone by the water ("Tim wants things from me quicker than i can give", "I feel like everything is quick", "How do you trust the feelings you have" etc.)

- There is another girl in the picture
She has expressed that in interviews on the boat by saying that "Tim is spending time with another girl, time passes and things change. She has expressed before also, during the cancelled volley ball date when she took herself out of the group. She was watching Tim building connections and since she doesn't see it as competition, for her it is totally possible he found something special in another girl than her. It is even scarier for her since she is slow at getting to the completely in love step.

-She is getting overwhelmed by trying to move faster than she can herself:
She expressed than when she said she feels pressure and expectations. Even meeting the parents was too fast but she tried. She was doing a tremendous effort to do it they way the process asks for and that is starting to overwhelm her because she also has the other fears and she can't even process all that at the meltdown point.

- And on top of all that she fear possible rejection like you said. So at this point, not feeling she could think anymore, she couldn't be her own self and move at her pace, and since there is another girl in the picture, she wanted to pull out before she got dumped.

For me, knowing the kind of person she is, a person who marches at her own pace, who follows her heart and is trying to find a real love, an unconditional love for a lifetime, i take all those fears/insecurities as a good thing. She is getting somewhere. Something is changing in her and she has feelings. Simple as that. If she does'nt feel anything for Tim, she wouldn't be that scared. She would just walk away in peace and long long time ago. She is in it for the long run and Tim knows it, Tim understands it.

They reminds me of Jamie and Doug in a way. Those guys know how to be patient and how to work on a relationship. I admire them so much.

Plus she is constantly being asked to articulate her feelings, analyze everything (by Tim, his parents, TPTB...) instead of just living them.

IMO, this is what I think it is, at the core.

-- April is an introvert.
Yes, being shy or withdrawn can be seen as introverted but that is NOT the definition of introvert (one can be very confident and sociable as we saw with April when she went up to talk to Tim first episode). An introvert is one who needs time alone to recharge, to restore energy and balance. Extroverts gain energy from without, by being around others. Introverts gain energy from within by spending time alone. So introverts become drained of energy if they don't get the opportunity to take time to recharge on their own, away from external stimuli/people.

-- April already showed us that she needs time away to collect her thoughts.
She did this in episode 3, in Los Cabos, Mexico when she wandered off on her own and Tim ran after her. She didn't know herself what she was feeling yet and needed time to think about why she was upset (which was, ultimately, because she was developing REAL feelings for Tim and in this environment with so many women, it scared her). April even says she wished Tim hadn't come after her so quickly before she had figured things out.

-- April is continually surrounded by people/stimuli.
She is continually surrounded by cameras, by crew, by fellow girls, by Tim, by his parents. As time passes and she is only one of two, she is even surrounded by more cameras and people as they focus intently on her. There's no time to recharge or regain her energy and so she becomes drained, depleted, overwhelmed, and confused. She needs time alone to recharge but there is no time. From watching the ITM of Tim before April meets his parents, he says that "just yesterday this girl told me she is falling in love with me". That means, as I suspected, that the MTPs were  on the same day, but also that the day before was April's FD with Tim. This makes the most sense as to why April is completely scattered all over the place (as she admits to herself) because she had no time away from talking marriage with Tim the night before to meeting his parents. Her energy was spent by talking over serious issues with Tim and by the time she got to meet his parents, and analyzing the situation (other girl, what is real vs. bubble, her fears of being rejected again, etc) April's energy was depleted. Cameras were following her, 'interviewing' her, and then she was 'grilled' by Tim's parents (her words). She needed time alone, away from everything—she never got it. So she wants to leave, not just 'go home'. Really, what she is saying is she needs some 'April time' she needs everyone ELSE to leave her alone, starting with the cameras. Home to April is where she can recharge and that is not happening on Moorea.

-- April is constantly analyzing about what is real vs. not real (bachelor-bubble vs. reality).
She is living in the bubble but thinking outside the bubble. Because of the situation of being in a bachelor bubble, April is having extreme difficulty not only articulating her thoughts but processing them. The situation she is in does not ALLOW for thinking outside the bubble. One is there to fall in love and be ready to accept a possible proposal from someone that one has met six weeks ago—this is the premise of the show and that is the confines within which April is in. The fact that she is bringing reality into non-reality is rare and utterly overwhelming for her. She is grappling with what is real vs. not real. And she told Tim this on their FD date. "How do I know it is ...[real?] yes, real?" And Tim responds by saying to April, "You can't know all the facts... at some point you have to jump!" That is the show: at some point April has to give herself over to the process and take a leap of faith. She has to stop fighting the bubble she is in and believe it can be real inside the bubble. From her final blog... that is what she did... "no place for worry or fear... just love." April jumped, she took a leap of faith.

-- Tim became April's battery recharger, her home, her source of energy.
I believe April was able to jump and take a leap of faith because of Tim. Even though she needed her alone time to recharge, Tim became her source of energy. Tim's mom herself stated that she saw that April drew strength from Tim. In some crazy way, just as April said that Tim just knew her (and he agreed with on her HTD). Tim totally understood her and so he became April's home and place where, because he was so patient with her, he never depleted her energy but gave her energy. Probably the only person other than herself to do that. Being alone with him was like being alone with herself... energy source restored. It is really amazing when I think about it. But April supports this in her final blog when she states... that Tim's love is "the kind of love that feeds your soul – encouraging, supporting and unconditional. The kind that sends you off into the world each day and helps you take on whatever comes your way." Tim's love for April, imo, not only gave her the courage to jump but became a source of energy outside of herself but still from within (like YiaYia said... "his heart connected to my heart").

*swoon*

northernviewer wrote:

djogbenyuie wrote:

northernviewer wrote:I think her feelings while filming took her by surprise.. and both her and Tim have said, it got very real.  

I think she went into this for the adventure, hoping to go see some sites outside of Canada, and was taken by surprise how she ended up developing real feelings for the Bachelor.  It appears that she felt the mutual attraction, but was very realistic about the fact that she could be fooled like so many have.  I'm sure she listened to Kaylynn go on and on and on about the connection she had with Tim so that would have given her reason to sit back and observe and hold back from making herself look foolish.  I think she was ever mindful of the cameras and didn't ever  want to embarrass herself by being part of a one-side relationship.  

i'm not so sure about the bold cause since the first night she was about finding if Tim can be the one for her (Cf. their first convo).

Also she said that she got signed in the show by a friend (i don't remember in which itv i've seen that, if someone has the source please bring it over).
So yeah she is realistic but i don't think she was that taken off guard. she knew what she wanted to find in this and i don't think it was just for fun at the beginning. IMO

It's not that I don't think she went on there with the hopes of finding love, I'm sure they all do, but I found her to be so realistic and practical, that I think she went in sceptical that it was going to be her... hence her constant hesitations.  I don't think she treated it like a lark or anything, she was totally serious, but I just think that she didn't go into it with rose coloured glasses the way girls like Kaylynn and Natalie did, is all I'm saying.

djogbenyuie wrote:AAL you should blog your post or something. People need to read this. Seriously!

djogbenyuie wrote:

northernviewer wrote:

djogbenyuie wrote:

i'm not so sure about the bold cause since the first night she was about finding if Tim can be the one for her (Cf. their first convo).

Also she said that she got signed in the show by a friend (i don't remember in which itv i've seen that, if someone has the source please bring it over).
So yeah she is realistic but i don't think she was that taken off guard. she knew what she wanted to find in this and i don't think it was just for fun at the beginning. IMO

It's not that I don't think she went on there with the hopes of finding love, I'm sure they all do, but I found her to be so realistic and practical, that I think she went in sceptical that it was going to be her... hence her constant hesitations.  I don't think she treated it like a lark or anything, she was totally serious, but I just think that she didn't go into it with rose coloured glasses the way girls like Kaylynn and Natalie did, is all I'm saying.

okay it's clear now. i'm glad you explained it more.

northernviewer wrote:

as you can probably tell.... I'm not very wordy... I get to the point and that's it.  

djogbenyuie wrote:oh and right now i think it is even more romantic if the process went on as normal instead of Tim just sending home trish to put April at ease or whatever. That way we will have her taking the leap of faith and joining Tim at the FRC. "she has to take the step", "she has to jump", "i need her to trust me", it will all come full circle. Awwwwww

djogbenyuie wrote:AAL you should blog your post or something. People need to read this. Seriously!

GuardianAngel wrote:

northernviewer wrote:

as you can probably tell.... I'm not very wordy... I get to the point and that's it.  

northernviewer wrote:

djogbenyuie wrote:

northernviewer wrote:

It's not that I don't think she went on there with the hopes of finding love, I'm sure they all do, but I found her to be so realistic and practical, that I think she went in sceptical that it was going to be her... hence her constant hesitations.  I don't think she treated it like a lark or anything, she was totally serious, but I just think that she didn't go into it with rose coloured glasses the way girls like Kaylynn and Natalie did, is all I'm saying.

okay it's clear now. i'm glad you explained it more.

as you can probably tell.... I'm not very wordy... I get to the point and that's it.