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Married At First Sight - Season 2 - Ryan DeNino - Jessica Castro - *Sleuthing - Spoilers*

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Post by GuardianAngel Sat May 02, 2015 12:17 pm

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Post by Regal_GG Sat May 02, 2015 1:19 pm

watchTV3 wrote:Both of them has issues. Ryan's attitude and choice of words were appalling and IMO contribute to Jess shutting down:

Yes. It seems like a vicious cycle with these two....their issues and worst bring out the issues and worse in the other. They need HELP. (Not happy how the experts are stepping back this year. This experiment WILL fail if they are left to their own "damaged" devices.)

watchTV3 wrote:
-When Jess musters up the courage to speak her mind he storms out and dismisses it, not leaving her the chance to express herself. Another fight happens and she brings out issue number one that she never got the chance to resolve and he gets mad at her from bringing it up again. He is a terrible listener.

I don't see his leaving as so much an issue if (as I see it) he is leaving to cool down and not esculate things further. When he came back (after the facial piercing episode), he DID try to work things out - but Jess was happily stuck in the mode of "see I TOLD you I'm a victim!"

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Post by watchTV3 Sat May 02, 2015 2:26 pm

Regal_GG wrote:
watchTV3 wrote:Both of them has issues. Ryan's attitude and choice of words were appalling and IMO contribute to Jess shutting down:

Yes.  It seems like a vicious cycle with these two....their issues and worst bring out the issues and worse in the other.  They need HELP.  (Not happy how the experts are stepping back this year.  This experiment WILL fail if they are left to their own "damaged" devices.)

watchTV3 wrote:
-When Jess musters up the courage to speak her mind he storms out and dismisses it, not leaving her the chance to express herself. Another fight happens and she brings out issue number one that she never got the chance to resolve and he gets mad at her from bringing it up again. He is a terrible listener.

I don't see his leaving as so much an issue if (as I see it) he is leaving to cool down and not esculate things further.  When he came back (after the facial piercing episode), he DID try to work things out - but Jess was happily stuck in the mode of  "see I TOLD you I'm a victim!"

IMO , Ryan isn't receptive when Jess communicates and displays behavior that discourages her from doing it. She shouldn't be scared of talking to him. I doubt she would be this reluctant if she was paired up with someone like Ryan R.

Also, I don't think Ryan paired up with a more assertive woman would last more than 2 days. His relationship role model consisted in grandma shutting up and taking verbal abuse from grandpa. So putting him with someone who is the complete opposite of his beloved grandmother would be an even bigger disaster than what we are witnessing now. Ryan may think that in his head he would be better with a more outspoken woman, IMO it's not feasible at all. He would view her as a biatch and nag and the fights would be downright ugly.

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Post by Alanna Sat May 02, 2015 2:31 pm

I want to cut Ryan a little slack because Jessica is scary levels of passive aggressive. She won't cook because she doesn't like how Ryan talks to her. Huh?!


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Post by watchTV3 Sat May 02, 2015 2:46 pm

Alanna wrote:I want to cut Ryan a little slack because Jessica is scary levels of passive aggressive. She won't cook because she doesn't like how Ryan talks to her. Huh?!

LOL. Since he treats her badly, she doesn't see why she should cook for him. But then if you don't tell him how you feel how will he change? But when she does speak to him he blows ups or is dismissive.

deadhorse These two give me a headache. A circle of immaturity. I can't believe they're older than Ryan R and Jaclyn.

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Post by Soribel Sat May 02, 2015 2:46 pm

They both have major issues, which they have to overcome. But IMO if Jessica was to speak her mind and let him know when he's out of line when it happens not days later he can actually get to know who she is and how to properly treat her. The fact that she hides behind her past and not wanting to get hurt is causing even bigger problems in her current relationship.

Also , I read that on episode 10, the experts do step in... I saw this on TvGuide.com
Conflict
Season 2, Episode 10
May 12, 2015
The couples learn to cope with the conflicts arising in their relationships with the assistance of a psychologist, who helps them work through issues threatening to destroy their marriages.

Adjusting to Married Life
Season 2, Episode 9
May 5, 2015
The newlywed couples start to exit the honeymoon period and face the challenges of everyday life as husband and wife.


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Post by soccermom333 Sat May 02, 2015 3:07 pm

Alanna wrote:I want to cut Ryan a little slack because Jessica is scary levels of passive aggressive. She won't cook because she doesn't like how Ryan talks to her. Huh?!



I am so glad you brought this up Alanna.  I remember she was the one who said when they were house hunting that she wanted to grocery shop and cook to save money.  I think she was appalled that he spent so much on take out all the time.  Now, they have take out all the time.  Ryan even said sushi every night since they have been there.  Very strange!  Suspect

Ryan is far from perfect, but I bet he would love to see her make an effort and make dinner once in awhile.  The same goes for him.  He should make an effort and do something nice for her.  I was shaking my head when he came home and she was looking through a magazine and asked if he was hungry?!  He said he was starving.  So why not take the opportunity to shop together and come home and cook for goodness sakes??!!  

I agree she is so passive aggressive it is scary.  I am sure the experts will address it with her.  Hoping. Praying
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Post by bleuberry Sat May 02, 2015 3:10 pm

Maybe she oversold herself with the cooking. She doesn't strike me as the type to have home cooked meals each night and that's ok, but be honest about it. She said she waited for him to come before asking what he wanted, which is basically code for I was having a lazy day. Just say it, gah! She frustrates me.


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Post by whit90 Sat May 02, 2015 3:21 pm

bleuberry wrote:Maybe she oversold herself with the cooking. She doesn't strike me as the type to have home cooked meals each night and that's ok, but be honest about it. She said she waited for him to come before asking what he wanted, which is basically code for I was having a lazy day. Just say it, gah! She frustrates me.



Me too and who would want to eat sushi every night ? IMO she is the one that is not trying or she would of least cooked him one dinner. I know my hubby would have a fit if I got take out every night.
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Post by GuardianAngel Sat May 02, 2015 3:28 pm

If this were me, I would discuss what meals he enjoys, go grocery shopping together and have a plan for supper, like most couples do.

I'm not a take out every night kind of person, and don't get why people do that.

In a normal lifestyle, dinner is discussed or planned. I would just do it, not use it as ammunition because I don't like something you said or did.

There are plenty of ways to be organized and have a dinner ready for when work is done for the day. The use of a crock pot, or an oven timer is lifesaving for those who work long hours or have long commutes. I did it for years, and it takes the stress off of "what's for supper".



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Post by Brill Sat May 02, 2015 3:50 pm

From the sounds of it, she has been cooking. She showed a picture on IG of a meal she made. Then someone commented about Ryan eating and she said oh my can he eat. Makes me think she is cooking. no idea Got to love the editing they do on this show.


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Post by Regal_GG Sat May 02, 2015 4:29 pm

Someone mentioned above that:
Jessica shouldn't be scared of talking to Ryan.

Honestly - I think Jess would be scared to talk to any man in this situation (married to them and trying to make it work quickly).  She fears abandonment and is passive-aggressive to the umpth degree.

Not saying Ryan doesn't have anger and communication issues as well...but he says in EVERY on-the-side interview that "Jess isn't saying what she wants or needs.  She WON'T communicate."

In regards to his grandmother and grandfather... I think it's a real stretch for ANYONE to say that his grandfather was verbally abusive to his grandmother.  They were married for what? 40? 50 years?  (1) marriages were different back then (2) They obviously made it work and people in his family said they were incredibly happy and in love (3) Ryan R. made an off-handed remark to Jaclyn the other night - joking, "Sheesh, what kind of a spouse are YOU?" (I think when she dropped her ring and it went under the stove).  Was Ryan R. abusive?  No.  That's spouses joking with each other.  I think when Ryan D. tells the story of his grandfather telling the grandmother to shut up...it was joking between spouses.  You hear Ryan tell the story - and he is laughing.  Not a demonic laugh (like serves her RIGHT!), but a loving "they were so close" laugh.  Ryan seems to want to have that closeness where he CAN kid - but that takes YEARS of work to reach - and you have to learn to control your temper as well.  Ryan (and Jess have) has a long way to go to reach that point.

But I really get upset to see people slam his grandparents when we know NOTHING about these two who have passed away - and were tremendously beloved to each other and their family.

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