MAFS - Season 4 - Derek Schwartz - Heather Seidel

Whistler wrote:

MAFSMinority wrote:
His reaction to her was WAY over the top, and indicative of a person on weed too.  My brother-in-law had to stay with us a couple of summers ago, and he's a major user.  I've seen "pothead" behavior in many people I've worked with or otherwise known over the years, but living with it confirmed it.  When confronted about the addiction, there's anger, redirection of blame, sketchy justifications, and trying to turn it around against the accuser.  In short, a total unwillingness to accept responsibility.  Look at Derek.  He stormed off in anger more than once, said his smoking was less a problem than her drinking, passed it off as "it's my vacation, I don't do this at home", and then got nasty with personal shots at her never going to find a partner.  I don't recall once him saying maybe it was a mistake to light up every morning after he found out how strong her feelings were against it.
.  

FANTASTIC post, MAFSMinority!! I found especially the above a very enlightening perspective.

Their fighting was all SO unnecessary. Be rational and use common sense! Don't escalate the problem. You say you have a problem with the drinking, and you say you have a problem with smoking pot. We both, however, state we want to make this marriage work. Temporarily, at least then, for the sake of our new marriage and wanting to please the other and not "take me as I am or else," let's agree to completely abstain from alcohol and any smoking until we are on better understanding with each other.  At LEAST, call up the experts who are available to them at any time during this whole time and get some quick counseling for this.

Again, welcome, MAFSMinority!!  And never apologize for a long post . . . We LIKE those!

Ruqibabe wrote:http://www.fyi.tv/shows/married-at-first-sight/videos/heather-and-derek-go-surfing


http://www.fyi.tv/shows/married-at-first-sight/videos/heather-and-derek-talk-to-pastor-calvin

Ruqibabe wrote:http://www.fyi.tv/shows/married-at-first-sight/videos/heather-and-derek-go-surfing

6u
http://www.fyi.tv/shows/married-at-first-sight/videos/heather-and-derek-talk-to-pastor-calvin

2observe wrote:

Ruqibabe wrote:http://www.fyi.tv/shows/married-at-first-sight/videos/heather-and-derek-go-surfing

6u
http://www.fyi.tv/shows/married-at-first-sight/videos/heather-and-derek-talk-to-pastor-calvin

I wonder what happened first, the talk with the pastor or the surfing lesson?

Ruqibabe wrote:

jlccaz wrote:

Ruqibabe wrote:

I don't think they moved in together. They were done after the honeymoon. Based on my observation from the preview and word on the street

This is what was leaked, and what seems right from circumstantial evidence about post-"experiment" filming venues, tenses, etc.  Derek's comments are always in the vein of faulting Heather for rushing to judgment, etc., which I interpreted as a "meta-" over-arching comment indicating that she bolted before the 6 weeks were up -- thereby freaking him out no doubt that his final TV Reputation will be as an (unreformed) pothead, by the way -- and thus leading to SM frenetic activity.  

I don't agree with your assessment of Derek, calling him pothead when you ve only seen 5days of his life but that's my opinion, i respect yours.

jlccaz wrote:

Ruqibabe wrote:

jlccaz wrote:


This is what was leaked, and what seems right from circumstantial evidence about post-"experiment" filming venues, tenses, etc.  Derek's comments are always in the vein of faulting Heather for rushing to judgment, etc., which I interpreted as a "meta-" over-arching comment indicating that she bolted before the 6 weeks were up -- thereby freaking him out no doubt that his final TV Reputation will be as an (unreformed) pothead, by the way -- and thus leading to SM frenetic activity.  

I don't agree with your assessment of Derek, calling him pothead when you ve only seen 5days of his life but that's my opinion, i respect yours.

What I actually wrote and intend to communicate is that he was concerned he would appear as such on television.   (The cameras are always the most important character in the show.  Their presence drives much of what we see ...  People are worried how they will come across.)

mtnlvr55 wrote:

2observe wrote:

Ruqibabe wrote:http://www.fyi.tv/shows/married-at-first-sight/videos/heather-and-derek-go-surfing

6u
http://www.fyi.tv/shows/married-at-first-sight/videos/heather-and-derek-talk-to-pastor-calvin

I wonder what happened first, the talk with the pastor or the surfing lesson?

I would say the surfing is first since Derek mentioned to the pastor that heather held hands with the surf instructor and that upset him (he also mentioned that in the surf video)
At this point, they are not doing well, it's hard to say if they can turn it around....

2observe wrote:

jlccaz wrote:

Ruqibabe wrote:


I don't agree with your assessment of Derek, calling him pothead when you ve only seen 5days of his life but that's my opinion, i respect yours.

What I actually wrote and intend to communicate is that he was concerned he would appear as such on television.   (The cameras are always the most important character in the show.  Their presence drives much of what we see ...  People are worried how they will come across.)

So true.  That is why I have a hard time understanding why eta: Derek brought up the weed issue and why Heather gave Derek permission to smoke weed in the first place.  They both knew the cameras were everywhere.

Lorelei wrote:

2observe wrote:

Lorelei wrote:So it looks like Derek and Heather were the replacement couple for the couple  who backed out. The other couples were married early April and they were married at the end of the month. Guess the "experts" threw them together last minute.

Could the late wedding be due to Heather's flight schedule?  It's very possible imo.

Well we know someone backed out the night before so that would mean they needed a replacement couple.
It had to take another few weeks to tell them they have been chosen and give them the 2 weeks to prepare like the other couples were given.
So I really think they had to be the replacement couple, the other 2 couples were married very early in the month.
Also, the other couples had the outside venue at the hotel and Derek and Heather had an indoor venue, it looked like the lobby of the hotel actually with curtains up. It was not a ballroom area in the hotel.  I have been to The Diplomat several times and I thought where they held the ceremony was really strange. Perhaps they had no more venue space for a last minute ceremony and they had to set up the lobby to accommodate them. The Diplomat is a beautiful hotel on Hollywood Beach and very popular for weddings and parties.
We held our parents 50th wedding anniversary celebration there in 2009.