Bachelor 22 - Arie Luyendyk Jr - F1-F4 - Discussion - *Sleuthing Spoilers*

I love how Lauren said she can read him when he walked away and came back and yet she was wrong . That was funny.

while we are going around in circles trying to figure out how Arie chose Becca instead of Lauren, I'm just going to throw this out there...

From Emily's season, we all know how sexual Arie is...

Maybe Arie's choice came down to the FS and FD.  Hanky Panky happens during these episodes so maybe Arie based his final decision on sex.

Heck, every other reason has been dissected.

Kolormiblnd wrote:

Stone_Hedge wrote:He’s also back to can’t say if he’s in love or not after WTA . He’s making me seasick .

When Arie went to Lauren’s IG and it was noticed and brought here, surely his handler or other producers caught it too. Would that have brought up dialogue that led to the switch ?

Could Becca have read about it here and started asking Arie detailed questions? I seem to remember that her headshot on her instagram page quoted Kasha verbatim.

Really? What did she quote? My kids don't even quote me unless it's to laugh at my crazy. My husband can't quote me. He doesn't listen to me.

XQZME wrote:while we are going around in circles    trying to figure out how Arie chose Becca instead of Lauren, I'm just going to throw this out there...

From Emily's season, we all know how sexual Arie is...

Maybe Arie's choice came down to the FS and FD.  Hanky Panky happens during these episodes so maybe Arie based his final decision on sex.

Heck, every other reason has been dissected.

If one felt sure and the other held back, that would make a difference there . Would it be beyond Arie to gauge things that way? I don’t think so imo.

Kashathediva wrote:

Kolormiblnd wrote:

Stone_Hedge wrote:He’s also back to can’t say if he’s in love or not after WTA . He’s making me seasick .

When Arie went to Lauren’s IG and it was noticed and brought here, surely his handler or other producers caught it too. Would that have brought up dialogue that led to the switch ?

Could Becca have read about it here and started asking Arie detailed questions? I seem to remember that her headshot on her instagram page quoted Kasha verbatim.

Really? What did she quote? My kids don't even quote me unless it's to laugh at my crazy. My husband can't quote me. He doesn't listen to me.

I think I was the one who noticed it. @Kashathediva, it's her ABC bio pic. She said "i nailed the deer in headlights look", which was exactly what you had said a few days before she posted.

AH. Yes, now I remember. Thank you!
@SDmom

Kashathediva wrote:AH. Yes, now I remember. Thank you!
@SDmom

Thanks @sdmom, I was just trying to find it.

Stone_Hedge wrote:I love how Lauren said she can read him when he walked away and came back and yet she was wrong . That was funny.

I actually saw that as an example of what I discussed in my other post. Lauren may, in fact, have really good intuition and be able to read people quite well. Yet, in that moment her wounded part created a story based on self-admitted mistrust/insecurity/fear of rejection (take your pick) and she mistook that for her gut. A primary focus with my clients is to help them sort out the wounded part from the gut - best way to do that is to heal emotionally from those old wounds.

docnash14 wrote:

Stone_Hedge wrote:I love how Lauren said she can read him when he walked away and came back and yet she was wrong . That was funny.

I actually saw that as an example of what I discussed in my other post.  Lauren may, in fact, have really good intuition and be able to read people quite well.  Yet, in that moment her wounded part created a story based on self-admitted mistrust/insecurity/fear of rejection (take your pick) and she mistook that for her gut.  A primary focus with my clients is to help them sort out the wounded part from the gut - best way to do that is to heal emotionally from those old wounds.

Interesting. Do you think Lauren has in your opinion ?

docnash14 wrote:I actually saw that as an example of what I discussed in my other post.  Lauren may, in fact, have really good intuition and be able to read people quite well.  Yet, in that moment her wounded part created a story based on self-admitted mistrust/insecurity/fear of rejection (take your pick) and she mistook that for her gut.  A primary focus with my clients is to help them sort out the wounded part from the gut - best way to do that is to heal emotionally from those old wounds.

One thing that Lauren said in an ITM (that's stuck in my mind) is that she's so afraid of opening up and being hurt but also afraid that if she doesn't she might lose Arie. IMO what makes Lauren vulnerable to being hurt is not whether or not she expresses how she feels to Arie, but the fact that she has those feelings in the first place. Being silent is no protection from hurt but rather likely to cause the very hurt she fears and she seems to know that.

IMO Lauren is far more complex that the edit of the girl who merely said "Wow" to all the beauty of Paris. At one point (it might have been after Arie had left her alone after she told him she was falling in love with him) she says to Arie "You seem to have something to say about that". I think it took courage to open up a line of communication that needed to happen but is easier to avoid.

Lucas15 wrote:

docnash14 wrote:I actually saw that as an example of what I discussed in my other post.  Lauren may, in fact, have really good intuition and be able to read people quite well.  Yet, in that moment her wounded part created a story based on self-admitted mistrust/insecurity/fear of rejection (take your pick) and she mistook that for her gut.  A primary focus with my clients is to help them sort out the wounded part from the gut - best way to do that is to heal emotionally from those old wounds.

One thing that Lauren said in an ITM (that's stuck in my mind) is that she's so afraid of opening up and being hurt but also afraid that if she doesn't she might lose Arie. IMO what makes Lauren vulnerable to being hurt is not whether or not she expresses how she feels to Arie, but the fact that she has those feelings in the first place. Being silent is no protection from hurt but rather likely to cause the very hurt she fears and she seems to know that.

IMO Lauren is far more complex that the edit of the girl who merely said "Wow" to all the beauty of Paris. At one point (it might have been after Arie had left her alone after she told him she was falling in love with him) she says to Arie "You seem to have something to say about that". I think it took courage to open up a line of communication that needed to happen but is easier to avoid.

I thought the same thing.  It does take courage to open up and be vulnerable especially if there has been a past association between vulnerability and getting hurt. It is said that vulnerability is the precursor to real intimacy (whether it be emotional or physical/sexual intimacy) which is why I assert that self-protection does not always equate with self-care and/or growth.  So in that moment when Lauren made that comment you referenced she was choosing to walk toward the possibility of being hurt and concomitantly was walking toward potential healing.  Very simply, we cannot heal what we avoid.

^^^ Your answer did not disappoint - nor surprise. I'd "like" more than once if I could.