Arie Luyendyk Jr - Lauren Burnham - Bachelor 22 - Discussion

Amethyst wrote:I don't know if this is the right forum to bring this up, but it's been on my mind for a few days now. If the situation were reversed, and Arie proposed first to Lauren, but then changed his mind in favor of Becca, would she have responded in the same manner? Specifically, would she have a) communicated with Arie via text and phone calls before his official breakup, b) given Arie another chance, and c) accepted an immediate engagement with him?

Here are my thoughts:

a) I think her communication with Arie would have been very limited. I think she would have said to him, "Yes, I still have feelings for you, but your relationship with Lauren needs to be resolved first before we take this any further." Why? Because my opinion is that where Lauren tends to lead from her heart, Becca uses a combination of head and heart. I also think that Becca is the type who would think, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. She is a very open hearted individual, but once her B.S. meter is activated, look out!

b) I think she might very well have given him another chance, but she wouldn't have been in any rush about it. Why? Based on her experience with her ex, she is used to having a long-distance relationship. I think she would have told Arie (once he broke his engagement with Lauren,) "Sure, let's take six months or a year and see where this goes." I don't think she would have been in any rush to move to Scottsdale.

c) HECK NO. Why? For all of the reasons listed above.

ukglasgowkiiss wrote:

Amethyst wrote:I don't know if this is the right forum to bring this up, but it's been on my mind for a few days now. If the situation were reversed, and Arie proposed first to Lauren, but then changed his mind in favor of Becca, would she have responded in the same manner? Specifically, would she have a) communicated with Arie via text and phone calls before his official breakup, b) given Arie another chance, and c) accepted an immediate engagement with him?

Here are my thoughts:

a) I think her communication with Arie would have been very limited. I think she would have said to him, "Yes, I still have feelings for you, but your relationship with Lauren needs to be resolved first before we take this any further." Why? Because my opinion is that where Lauren tends to lead from her heart, Becca uses a combination of head and heart. I also think that Becca is the type who would think, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. She is a very open hearted individual, but once her B.S. meter is activated, look out!

b) I think she might very well have given him another chance, but she wouldn't have been in any rush about it. Why? Based on her experience with her ex, she is used to having a long-distance relationship. I think she would have told Arie (once he broke his engagement with Lauren,) "Sure, let's take six months or a year and see where this goes." I don't think she would have been in any rush to move to Scottsdale.

c) HECK NO. Why? For all of the reasons listed above.

ITA @Amethyst. Imo Arie wouldnt hv got the same concessions made by Becca that Lauren gave him. But even though people hv suggested he wdnt hv chosen one or the other and it cd hv been opp scenario of broken engagement to Lauren then back to Becca, i dint agree imo he was always reverting to type choosing Lauren, he even tested her dependency upon him by proposing to another woman then seeing uf she wd take him back. He imo is a serial cheater who likes control of his partner. By testing Laurens limits he knows if they get married she will stay loyal to him even if he cheats. Imo he has that as a dynamic already, whereby he is attracted to both the younger maleable blondes but having affairs with others who challenge him. He imo wants his docile wife there while he continues to be selfish in every way. Just imho.
The coldness he exhibited & lack of empathy especially during the Becca breakup imo was telling. He did not consider her & was as emotional as a wooden plank.
All imo.

Amberish wrote:Regardless, I think Arie did the right thing for everyone involved:

Becca is Bachelorette instead of roadkill for, obviously, the relationship with Arie would never work.

Arie and Lauren found love. We haven't seen Arie in love since Emily, who mistakenly selected that detestable Jef Holm, whom, btw, was MY first choice for Emily back then. (Oh, boy, was wrong about him!)

TPTB got their drama and viewership interest should be on the uptick for the upcoming summer Bachelor shows.

We might even see another televised Bachelor wedding!

All in all, a win-win for everyone!

Mommyof2 wrote:so let's see if we can be respectful towards one another and have an adult conversation.  

It makes sense as Bekah has been  nothing but rude to Arie post-show.  Jmo

BM: She begged him ten times to go! That was the tipping point for me.
KL: Because you were defending him initially, Bekah.
BM: I love Becca and was sad that happened to her, but I was actually siding more with Arie until I saw that. I really was. At the Women Tell All taping it was nice to talk to him and I thought, You know, he changed his mind. Matters of the heart happen, not a huge deal. But then I saw the footage. The choices he made were inexcusable. I know those types of men who stand there after a break-up and are like, Wait baby, but are you okay? Give me assurance this is fine! Make me feel better about myself!  

BM: It’s like, when your best friend is dumped by a dude, aren’t you going to be like, He’s garbage? Even if it’s not always justified, you do it because you have your girl’s back. Also, don’t DM your ex! It’s inappropriate, especially given the fact he got back with Lauren through DMs. And I wasn’t the only contestant he was DMing while the show was airing. It wasn’t just me and Lauren, there were other women as well. C’mon, dude.You’re 36, you know better. You’re not oblivious and you know how relationships work.
KL: The fact that he switched to Lauren and was still talking to other girls, it’s not great.
BM: And at the time he DMed me, it was close to the episode when I got sent home. It was us passionately making out and discussing our relationship. And this is the time when you’re like, Thinking of you, hope you’re doing well! I guarantee Lauren didn’t know he was messaging me. Lauren doesn’t like me.
KL: Well, especially not now.
BM: Especially not now, and I’m sure he doesn’t like me, either.

To your knowledge, has Arie maintained relationships with any of the women after the season ended? Like, cordial relationships?
KL: I don’t want to name the other girls he’s talking to. I don’t know if they’re continuing talking to him now, but before there were some.
BM: I had a cordial relationship. I messaged him when he and Becca got engaged and I told Becca I was going to do that.
KL: I made it a point not to talk to him, because making it to a certain point in the show, it might be a little bit weird if I did. But now, I don’t think I would have a problem being friends with him. I don’t wish him ill-will. Once you care about someone and see a potential love with somebody, it’s hard to feel bad in some ways.
BM: Watching everything back, I feel particularly deceived by him in a way. I thought he wasn’t the type of guy who did all of the things that he did.
KL: I saw a different side of him.