The Bachelor 20 - Ben Higgins - NO SPOILERS - Discussion

Poll created at the top of the category.

The postings here have been wonderful, and MiaHawk, all of your posts have been my exact thought process as well. It's been great reading it all because I like how "adult like" Ben and JoJo's relationship has been.

For as crazy as a season this turned out to be, I think a lot of us can agree that Ben, JoJo and Lauren seem to be sweet people, which is nice!

To those who have posted kind words to me regarding my posts: Thank you.

Ay yi yi! I just voted in the F1 poll and must say that I am quite surprised with the results. :shocked!: Please save some of those kind words for after the finale, because I may need them!

Only 5 more days til the finale. I'm going to buckle up and stay on the Jojo train, but can say that Ben has two lovely women to choose from and I think he'll make the right choice for himself.

This will be the first finale in years that I am not spoiled for. I'm starting to get those finale jitters. I must say that I'm excited for Monday night.

MiaHawk wrote:To those who have posted kind words to me regarding my posts: Thank you.  

Ay yi yi! I just voted in the F1 poll and must say that I am quite surprised with the results. :shocked!:  Please save some of those kind words for after the finale, because I may need them!

 Only 5 more days til the finale. I'm going to buckle up and stay on the Jojo train, but can say that Ben has two lovely women to choose from and I think he'll make the right choice for himself.

This will be the first finale in years that I am not spoiled for. I'm starting to get those finale jitters. I must say that I'm excited for Monday night.

Mia, iI have watched the previews about 100 times, I can't get over that conversation in bathroom, the ILY and in love is so genuine, I can only imagine what he went thru, Monday can't come soon for me.

Maggenzm wrote:

MiaHawk wrote:To those who have posted kind words to me regarding my posts: Thank you.  

Ay yi yi! I just voted in the F1 poll and must say that I am quite surprised with the results. :shocked!:  Please save some of those kind words for after the finale, because I may need them!

 Only 5 more days til the finale. I'm going to buckle up and stay on the Jojo train, but can say that Ben has two lovely women to choose from and I think he'll make the right choice for himself.

This will be the first finale in years that I am not spoiled for. I'm starting to get those finale jitters. I must say that I'm excited for Monday night.

Mia, iI have watched the previews about 100 times, I can't get over that conversation in bathroom, the ILY and in love is so genuine, I can only imagine what he went thru, Monday can't come soon for me.

Ben is a nice guy. I don't think very many people would disagree. I think he has been caring to each woman he has eliminated all along. With each elimination, he has cared about her feelings and tried hard not to cause her any more pain than is necessary. When I see him so emotionally invested in the final 2, I know he will want to be as kind as possible when letting the F2 go, which I believe  will include starting to let her down slowly and softly on the LCD. When I look at the SCs of the finale, I think I see that in the body language between Ben and Lauren. When I hear Ben say to Jojo (in response to her asking for some reassurance on the bathroom floor) that he loves her and is in love with her, 2 things strike me: 1) His tone does not sound like there is a "but" at the end of those statements that has been edited out, and 2) If Jojo was F2, why on earth would he add the "I'm in love with you" after saying "I love you". If he was trying to emotionally prepare Jojo for the devastation of being rejected the next day, why would he give her the additional reassurance of "I'm in love with you"? To me, the "I love you" means exactly that, he loves her. Could be he loves her 10 out of 10 or that he loves her 8 out of 10 (and Lauren 10 out of 10). To me, the "I'm in love with you." means, he cannot say it outright, but he is trying to tell her she is the F1. JMHO.

I realize there is tons of editing and MF is a &*^%) , so if Jojo and I get blindsided on Monday evening it won't come as a total shock. I still much prefer to live inside my own head and experience the love story that I imagine is taking place on my TV (at least for this season). I've reached the point in my own viewing habits that I very quickly walk away from these people once the ATFR takes place. Long gone are the days of me reading follow up articles about how the couple is doing, etc. Of course, it's nice to hear that a couple is happy and together, but I'm just not emotionally invested in that. That's their life; they can live it the way they choose. I simply watch to analyze what I see on my TV for a few months. I feel comfortable commenting on that aspect of these people. I don't fall for or trust the editing very much, though, so that always throws me a curve ball to deal with. Speaking only for myself, I think going unspoiled makes me a slightly kinder and gentler poster. Because I'm not totally 100% sure of the final outcome, I allow myself to see more possibilities. It softens my edges. Or maybe it's just that I have an admiration and respect for Ben as the lead. Or maybe I'm just getting old. I'm not sure. I just know that being unspoiled for this season has been kind of nice.

MiaHawk wrote:

Maggenzm wrote:

MiaHawk wrote:To those who have posted kind words to me regarding my posts: Thank you.  

Ay yi yi! I just voted in the F1 poll and must say that I am quite surprised with the results. :shocked!:  Please save some of those kind words for after the finale, because I may need them!

 Only 5 more days til the finale. I'm going to buckle up and stay on the Jojo train, but can say that Ben has two lovely women to choose from and I think he'll make the right choice for himself.

This will be the first finale in years that I am not spoiled for. I'm starting to get those finale jitters. I must say that I'm excited for Monday night.

Mia, iI have watched the previews about 100 times, I can't get over that conversation in bathroom, the ILY and in love is so genuine, I can only imagine what he went thru, Monday can't come soon for me.

Ben is a nice guy. I don't think very many people would disagree. I think he has been caring to each woman he has eliminated all along. With each elimination, he has cared about her feelings and tried hard not to cause her any more pain than is necessary. When I see him so emotionally invested in the final 2, I know he will want to be as kind as possible when letting the F2 go, which I believe  will include starting to let her down slowly and softly on the LCD. When I look at the SCs of the finale, I think I see that in the body language between Ben and Lauren. When I hear Ben say to Jojo (in response to her asking for some reassurance on the bathroom floor) that he loves her and is in love with her, 2 things strike me: 1) His tone does not sound like there is a "but" at the end of those statements that has been edited out, and 2) If Jojo was F2, why on earth would he add the "I'm in love with you" after saying "I love you". If he was trying to emotionally prepare Jojo for the devastation of being rejected the next day, why would he give her the additional reassurance of "I'm in love with you"? To me, the "I love you" means exactly that, he loves her. Could be he loves her 10 out of 10 or that he loves her 8 out of 10 (and Lauren 10 out of 10). To me, the "I'm in love with you." means, he cannot say it outright, but he is trying to tell her she is the F1. JMHO.

I realize there is tons of editing and MF is a &*^%) , so if Jojo and I get blindsided on Monday evening it won't come as a total shock. I still much prefer to live inside my own head and experience the love story that I imagine is taking place on my TV (at least for this season). I've reached the point in my own viewing habits that I very quickly walk away from these people once the ATFR takes place. Long gone are the days of me reading follow up articles about how the couple is doing, etc. Of course, it's nice to hear that a couple is happy and together, but I'm just not emotionally invested in that. That's their life; they can live it the way they choose. I simply watch to analyze what I see on my TV for a few months. I feel comfortable commenting on that aspect of these people. I don't fall for or trust the editing very much, though, so that always throws me a curve ball to deal with. Speaking only for myself, I think going unspoiled makes me a slightly kinder and gentler poster. Because I'm not totally 100% sure of the final outcome, I allow myself to see more possibilities. It softens my edges. Or maybe it's just that I have an admiration and respect for Ben as the lead. Or maybe I'm just getting old. I'm not sure. I just know that being unspoiled for this season has been kind of nice.

Mia, you said it perfectly!  That is exactly how I feel

I also feel that when ATFR airs the couples who step back from the spotlight have had better chances of sucess.  IMO those that seek out fame after the fact seem to have been in it for the wrong reasons from the beginning.  It is nice to hear updates on the couples who have stayed together and found true love, but all of the other gossip and constant SM "here I am" gets old.  OR as you said it, I am getting old and have my own life to get back to after these crazy 10 weeks!!

Hang in there . . . don't go getting spoiled in the last days.  It is SO worth it not knowing until the end.  I have prepared myself for both outcomes - Wine, it will get me through

locoforbach wrote:

MiaHawk wrote:

Maggenzm wrote:

Mia, iI have watched the previews about 100 times, I can't get over that conversation in bathroom, the ILY and in love is so genuine, I can only imagine what he went thru, Monday can't come soon for me.

Ben is a nice guy. I don't think very many people would disagree. I think he has been caring to each woman he has eliminated all along. With each elimination, he has cared about her feelings and tried hard not to cause her any more pain than is necessary. When I see him so emotionally invested in the final 2, I know he will want to be as kind as possible when letting the F2 go, which I believe  will include starting to let her down slowly and softly on the LCD. When I look at the SCs of the finale, I think I see that in the body language between Ben and Lauren. When I hear Ben say to Jojo (in response to her asking for some reassurance on the bathroom floor) that he loves her and is in love with her, 2 things strike me: 1) His tone does not sound like there is a "but" at the end of those statements that has been edited out, and 2) If Jojo was F2, why on earth would he add the "I'm in love with you" after saying "I love you". If he was trying to emotionally prepare Jojo for the devastation of being rejected the next day, why would he give her the additional reassurance of "I'm in love with you"? To me, the "I love you" means exactly that, he loves her. Could be he loves her 10 out of 10 or that he loves her 8 out of 10 (and Lauren 10 out of 10). To me, the "I'm in love with you." means, he cannot say it outright, but he is trying to tell her she is the F1. JMHO.

I realize there is tons of editing and MF is a &*^%) , so if Jojo and I get blindsided on Monday evening it won't come as a total shock. I still much prefer to live inside my own head and experience the love story that I imagine is taking place on my TV (at least for this season). I've reached the point in my own viewing habits that I very quickly walk away from these people once the ATFR takes place. Long gone are the days of me reading follow up articles about how the couple is doing, etc. Of course, it's nice to hear that a couple is happy and together, but I'm just not emotionally invested in that. That's their life; they can live it the way they choose. I simply watch to analyze what I see on my TV for a few months. I feel comfortable commenting on that aspect of these people. I don't fall for or trust the editing very much, though, so that always throws me a curve ball to deal with. Speaking only for myself, I think going unspoiled makes me a slightly kinder and gentler poster. Because I'm not totally 100% sure of the final outcome, I allow myself to see more possibilities. It softens my edges. Or maybe it's just that I have an admiration and respect for Ben as the lead. Or maybe I'm just getting old. I'm not sure. I just know that being unspoiled for this season has been kind of nice.

Mia, you said it perfectly!  That is exactly how I feel

I also feel that when ATFR airs the couples who step back from the spotlight have had better chances of sucess.  IMO those that seek out fame after the fact seem to have been in it for the wrong reasons from the beginning.  It is nice to hear updates on the couples who have stayed together and found true love, but all of the other gossip and constant SM "here I am" gets old.  OR as you said it, I am getting old and have my own life to get back to after these crazy 10 weeks!!

Hang in there . . . don't go getting spoiled in the last days.  It is SO worth it not knowing until the end.  I have prepared myself for both outcomes - Wine, it will get me through

Great posts Loco and Mia! After watching the previews of that conversation over 100 times (I am ashamed to say), I am in love with Ben and JoJo relationship, what an open and honest relationship they have? The way Ben says "hey, I love you!!! I am in love with you!!!" is how every women wants a man she loves say it, this is coming from his soul/heart, not his head. IMO, he has not say it like this to any other, not even Lauren. JMO. Is it Monday yet?.

Just curious.... how do you avoid getting spoiled? It has to be hard to avoid magazines all around and TV ads. Those that are unspoiled this season have you been unspoiled before?

Maggenzm wrote:

locoforbach wrote:

MiaHawk wrote:

Ben is a nice guy. I don't think very many people would disagree. I think he has been caring to each woman he has eliminated all along. With each elimination, he has cared about her feelings and tried hard not to cause her any more pain than is necessary. When I see him so emotionally invested in the final 2, I know he will want to be as kind as possible when letting the F2 go, which I believe  will include starting to let her down slowly and softly on the LCD. When I look at the SCs of the finale, I think I see that in the body language between Ben and Lauren. When I hear Ben say to Jojo (in response to her asking for some reassurance on the bathroom floor) that he loves her and is in love with her, 2 things strike me: 1) His tone does not sound like there is a "but" at the end of those statements that has been edited out, and 2) If Jojo was F2, why on earth would he add the "I'm in love with you" after saying "I love you". If he was trying to emotionally prepare Jojo for the devastation of being rejected the next day, why would he give her the additional reassurance of "I'm in love with you"? To me, the "I love you" means exactly that, he loves her. Could be he loves her 10 out of 10 or that he loves her 8 out of 10 (and Lauren 10 out of 10). To me, the "I'm in love with you." means, he cannot say it outright, but he is trying to tell her she is the F1. JMHO.

I realize there is tons of editing and MF is a &*^%) , so if Jojo and I get blindsided on Monday evening it won't come as a total shock. I still much prefer to live inside my own head and experience the love story that I imagine is taking place on my TV (at least for this season). I've reached the point in my own viewing habits that I very quickly walk away from these people once the ATFR takes place. Long gone are the days of me reading follow up articles about how the couple is doing, etc. Of course, it's nice to hear that a couple is happy and together, but I'm just not emotionally invested in that. That's their life; they can live it the way they choose. I simply watch to analyze what I see on my TV for a few months. I feel comfortable commenting on that aspect of these people. I don't fall for or trust the editing very much, though, so that always throws me a curve ball to deal with. Speaking only for myself, I think going unspoiled makes me a slightly kinder and gentler poster. Because I'm not totally 100% sure of the final outcome, I allow myself to see more possibilities. It softens my edges. Or maybe it's just that I have an admiration and respect for Ben as the lead. Or maybe I'm just getting old. I'm not sure. I just know that being unspoiled for this season has been kind of nice.

Mia, you said it perfectly!  That is exactly how I feel

I also feel that when ATFR airs the couples who step back from the spotlight have had better chances of sucess.  IMO those that seek out fame after the fact seem to have been in it for the wrong reasons from the beginning.  It is nice to hear updates on the couples who have stayed together and found true love, but all of the other gossip and constant SM "here I am" gets old.  OR as you said it, I am getting old and have my own life to get back to after these crazy 10 weeks!!

Hang in there . . . don't go getting spoiled in the last days.  It is SO worth it not knowing until the end.  I have prepared myself for both outcomes - Wine, it will get me through

Great posts Loco and Mia! After watching the previews of that conversation over 100 times (I am ashamed to say), I am in love with Ben and JoJo relationship, what an open and honest relationship they have? The way Ben says "hey, I love you!!! I am in love with you!!!" is how every women wants a man she loves say it, this is coming from his soul/heart, not his head. IMO, he has not say it like this to any other, not even Lauren. JMO. Is it Monday yet?.

Best posts of the season IMO.
I admire your way of seeing things and expressing it.
Just love your posts Mia, Loco, Mag !

Maggenzm wrote:

locoforbach wrote:

MiaHawk wrote:

Ben is a nice guy. I don't think very many people would disagree. I think he has been caring to each woman he has eliminated all along. With each elimination, he has cared about her feelings and tried hard not to cause her any more pain than is necessary. When I see him so emotionally invested in the final 2, I know he will want to be as kind as possible when letting the F2 go, which I believe  will include starting to let her down slowly and softly on the LCD. When I look at the SCs of the finale, I think I see that in the body language between Ben and Lauren. When I hear Ben say to Jojo (in response to her asking for some reassurance on the bathroom floor) that he loves her and is in love with her, 2 things strike me: 1) His tone does not sound like there is a "but" at the end of those statements that has been edited out, and 2) If Jojo was F2, why on earth would he add the "I'm in love with you" after saying "I love you". If he was trying to emotionally prepare Jojo for the devastation of being rejected the next day, why would he give her the additional reassurance of "I'm in love with you"? To me, the "I love you" means exactly that, he loves her. Could be he loves her 10 out of 10 or that he loves her 8 out of 10 (and Lauren 10 out of 10). To me, the "I'm in love with you." means, he cannot say it outright, but he is trying to tell her she is the F1. JMHO.

I realize there is tons of editing and MF is a &*^%) , so if Jojo and I get blindsided on Monday evening it won't come as a total shock. I still much prefer to live inside my own head and experience the love story that I imagine is taking place on my TV (at least for this season). I've reached the point in my own viewing habits that I very quickly walk away from these people once the ATFR takes place. Long gone are the days of me reading follow up articles about how the couple is doing, etc. Of course, it's nice to hear that a couple is happy and together, but I'm just not emotionally invested in that. That's their life; they can live it the way they choose. I simply watch to analyze what I see on my TV for a few months. I feel comfortable commenting on that aspect of these people. I don't fall for or trust the editing very much, though, so that always throws me a curve ball to deal with. Speaking only for myself, I think going unspoiled makes me a slightly kinder and gentler poster. Because I'm not totally 100% sure of the final outcome, I allow myself to see more possibilities. It softens my edges. Or maybe it's just that I have an admiration and respect for Ben as the lead. Or maybe I'm just getting old. I'm not sure. I just know that being unspoiled for this season has been kind of nice.

Mia, you said it perfectly!  That is exactly how I feel

I also feel that when ATFR airs the couples who step back from the spotlight have had better chances of sucess.  IMO those that seek out fame after the fact seem to have been in it for the wrong reasons from the beginning.  It is nice to hear updates on the couples who have stayed together and found true love, but all of the other gossip and constant SM "here I am" gets old.  OR as you said it, I am getting old and have my own life to get back to after these crazy 10 weeks!!

Hang in there . . . don't go getting spoiled in the last days.  It is SO worth it not knowing until the end.  I have prepared myself for both outcomes - Wine, it will get me through

Great posts Loco and Mia! After watching the previews of that conversation over 100 times (I am ashamed to say), I am in love with Ben and JoJo relationship, what an open and honest relationship they have? The way Ben says "hey, I love you!!! I am in love with you!!!" is how every women wants a man she loves say it, this is coming from his soul/heart, not his head. IMO, he has not say it like this to any other, not even Lauren. JMO. Is it Monday yet?.

I couldn't agree with you more. And when I hear him say things like he did at WTA (I would marry that girl tomorrow if I could) it makes me think that he HAS to have a solid and deep connection that he is so sure of. I just see that so much more in his interactions with Jojo than I do with Lauren. IMO.

Rolly wrote:
Just curious.... how do you avoid getting spoiled? It has to be hard to avoid magazines all around and TV ads. Those that are unspoiled this season have you been unspoiled before?

I had a whole post written and it disappeared  Do my best to rewrite it . . . .

I have never been "spoiled".  I only watch episodes and previews.  I don't visit any spoiler sites, magazine articles give nothing away - they are all just speculation, and I am not a big SM person.  This board thread and one other blog is the only Bach online place I go - neither have spoilers.

As Mia said, I like to watch the story unfold on my TV.  I know this is with all kinds of production edits and such, but that is what TV is.  I have a pretty good prediction record, however sometimes the editing gets me.  With Katilyn I didn't have Shawn picked for a long time.  He got the "bully" edit so I didn't consider him, but when it came down to the F3 I started realizing how she always confided in Shawn, no matter what - even confessing, and she always reassured him about things.  She and Nick had chemistry but that was it.

My dilemma this season . . . Ben and JoJo have off the charts chemistry.  That thrills me and scares me.  There could be all kinds of interactions with Lauren that we haven't seen.  Often the "quiet one" has been F1 and I have been surprised.  This time around though it is not just LUST with F2, he is sincere about loving both of these women.  We have seen him share feelings for JoJo and Lauren, we have just seen more in depth situations with JoJo.  If he has had them with Lauren, they are on the editing floor and meant to be there to keep in me in this confused state of mind that I love so much!  If I was spoiled right now I would be sitting here waiting to watch something happen that I have known for weeks, IMO that negates the whole point.

In life, I savor the journey as much as I enjoy the destination

I was unspoiled for most of this season, but when I heard he was in love with two women, I jsut couldn't take it any more and gave in to the spoilers. To unspoil myself I stayed away from the forum and I unfollowed RS on Twitter and other mag sites. However, I have one question for Mia. How do you know that in the bathroom the words "I love you" and "I'm in love with you" were directed at JoJo? Could it be that the "i'm in love with you" was actually a clip from his time with Lauren? Don't get me wrong. I'm rooting for BenJo till the end. But I just want to cover all the bases.