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Ben Higgins - Lauren Bushnell - Bachelor 20 - Discussion - #6

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Post by GuardianAngel Mon Feb 06, 2017 4:34 pm

Continue thread 6 here.
All other threads here

loveactually9 wrote:I didn't watch all of their show, but the scene that stuck out to me was when Lauren confessed that she was afraid Ben doesn't think she's good enough for him

IMO that tells us everything we need to know about the relationship

Cocoasneeze wrote:I think the viewing parties actually sound fun. A way to poke fun and laugh at the show they've all been part of. There are other viewing parties all over the country, IMO it makes sense if the alumn get together to watch the show, too. JMO

sosleepy wrote:I've said this a few times, but social media started to change a bit in November. After their Turkes and Caicos trip. Ben started to disappear from Lauren's social media. Even the Honduras trip - Lauren didn't really talk about it at all. And why not? That would have been a perfect experience to blog about. Social media started to change - not coincidentally imo - around the time the cancelled wedding was being broadcast. It's one thing to live through that, entirely next level cruel to have that shown to the world.

While things started to change long before Christmas, I think the real breaking point happened around Christmas. In interviews, Lauren and Ben clearly stated they'd be spending "Christmas Day" apart. Not an entire week leading up to Christmas. Unless this is just semantics, did something maybe happen in Indiana to cause Lauren to get out of their early? Maybe not.. but just speculating.

After Christmas it's just been one red flag after another. I actually think up until her Mexico trip this week, they were still (barely) hanging on. But then US Weekly and RS started chiming in while on vacay, and I think that's the straw that broke the camel's back. My guess is they are actually broken up now. Like the weight of hiding that secret in from fans and the world was slightly lifted with US and RS and now Lauren just DGAF.

I don't think Ben was the one to break it off. I think that's all Lauren. I think he drove her there though. Say what you will - but the girl in the early epi's of HEA was soooooo excited to marry Ben. She wanted to take that wedding. She had no doubts. She was right there. Ben clearly wasn't on the same page, and his idiocy and round about logic for taking that dream away from her - so publicly - just killed them. I think he tried to have it both ways for a while, and Lauren also tried. But now it's February, same month as the cancelled wedding. And again, no coincidence to me that this month would cause her extra hurt and incentive to leave. It's supposed to be the happiest time in her life and instead she's living with "no babe, I mean, I really wanna be your husband but I need to make sure a lot of randos really know us and our love first." What a bunch of hogwash. And Lauren is D.ON.E. Finally pulling the plug.

Lennoxcolinrolland wrote:I think I hear Lauren in Jen's IG story.


Last edited by GuardianAngel on Mon Feb 06, 2017 7:50 pm; edited 1 time in total


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Post by Guest Mon Feb 06, 2017 4:46 pm

I don't think it's Lauren . Did she reach Denver so quickly . She was still in pjs with ceyla just two hours ago ??maybe it LB

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Post by Lennoxcolinrolland Mon Feb 06, 2017 4:47 pm

Simon21 wrote:I don't think it's Lauren . Did she reach Denver so quickly . She was still in pjs with ceyla just two hours ago ??maybe it LB
I think it's Lauren. LB sounds different. Lauren snapped two hours ago from Megan's house, it only takes an hour and a half to get back to Denver.

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Post by Guest Mon Feb 06, 2017 4:54 pm

It's true but she was still in her pjs and I m sure she would take time to get ready with makeup and all.

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Post by tiger Mon Feb 06, 2017 4:55 pm

I agree it seems like Lauren is the one who broke it off, but I don't think Ben deserves as much heat as he's getting for not wanting to go through with the televised wedding if he was having cold feet about Lauren after getting to know her outside of the show. Lauren did seem very into the idea of a wedding, but I felt like her enthusiasm was more for the wedding itself than actually being married to Ben. When he shut down the idea of rushing a wedding they weren't ready for just to stay in the spotlight, Lauren seemed to start losing interest and freezing him out.
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Post by Cocoasneeze Mon Feb 06, 2017 5:00 pm

tiger wrote:I agree it seems like Lauren is the one who broke it off,  but I don't think Ben deserves as much heat as he's getting for not wanting to go through with the televised wedding if he was having cold feet about Lauren after getting to know her outside of the show. Lauren did seem very into the idea of a wedding, but I felt like her enthusiasm was more for the wedding itself than actually being married to Ben. When he shut down the idea of rushing a wedding they weren't ready for just to stay in the spotlight, Lauren seemed to start losing interest and freezing him out.

Ben gets criticism from me for HOW he took back the wedding, on a tv show, humiliating Lauren publicly. IMO Lauren was the one doing most of the sacrifices and compromises for this relationship, Ben not being ready to meet in the middle. IMO Lauren stopped wanting to make all the sacrifices and compromises, when they didn't balance out.
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Post by Guest Mon Feb 06, 2017 5:03 pm

IMO I think Lauren was very much interested in marrying Ben or else she wouldn't have easily moved to Denver . When you are humiliated time and again on public platform anyone with self esteem would lose interest in person who does that. I find Ben to be very indecisive , if he didn't find Lauren compatible than he should be direct about it instead of always trying to keep her on a limbo . That's one of Ben's huge shortcomings IMO

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Post by mindless Mon Feb 06, 2017 5:14 pm

I don't think the problem is that Ben doesn't want a quickie marriage, it's that he doesn't walk the talk. How can you feel secure in a relationship when your fiancé goes from saying he wants to marry you tomorrow to saying you haven't really done anything as a couple yet and don't know each other well enough to marry? While at the same time trying to claim he still definitely wants to marry you just not yet. It's all just talk because that's what Ben's good at, sucking up to people, so they'll think he's a "nice guy". I don't think he gets how confusing it is to Lauren. And if he really thinks Lauren is just in love with Ben the Bachelor, not the real him, then that's kind of insulting to her. Don't project your own bubble love on your fiancée. She might just be an adult who knows what she wants. JMO.
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Post by Cocoasneeze Mon Feb 06, 2017 5:21 pm

@mindless ITA. He's big on public declarations and acts, but the actual work to back it all up, he doesn't do, IMO
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Post by AmoreBella Mon Feb 06, 2017 5:27 pm

Lauren just posted this
https://instagram.com/p/BQLvZioAnyq/

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Post by sosleepy Mon Feb 06, 2017 5:28 pm

I do not fault Ben if he decided, after living with Lauren, that she wasn't for him.

I do not fault Ben for deciding he wasn't ready for the wedding.

BUT - there are ways he could have slowed the relationship or the marriage without being so emotionally stunted and clueless and freaking hurtful. For example:

I absolutely fault Ben for:
1. Going overboard with his I WILL MARRY LAUREN TOMORROW BS. I mean, never has a lead or couple been this liberal and forward with their extreme declarations that this is FOR REAL.
2. Agreeing to do a reality show meant to showcase his wedding journey. If he was ever having even the slightest amount of doubts, doing that show is flat cruel and idiotic.
3. Ageeeing to the televised wedding to begin with. On camera. Giving Lauren that concrete promise.
4. Cancelling the wedding while she was wearing a wedding dress, in front of Lace/Grant (of all people), the dumb twins, and a room full of cameras. I don't care how he feels about Lauren. That is BEYOND hurtful.
5. BS promises "I know for sure I want to marry you, baby. You will be Mrs. Higgins, def. For sure. We just gotta make sure the randos at our wedding have stories about us as a couple first." Insert my massive eye roll here.
6. Expecting Lauren to just be ok with taking the wedding back and going back all no big deal. He seemed very emotionally immature not to realize the intense ramifications of this ON NATIONAL TELEVISION. Very me-centric. Not a person I'd want as a partner, personally.


Last edited by sosleepy on Mon Feb 06, 2017 5:30 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Post by Catdwoman50 Mon Feb 06, 2017 5:28 pm

AmoreBella wrote:Lauren just posted this
https://instagram.com/p/BQLvZioAnyq/
^^ Damage control?


Need to do something productive and stop hanging out in this forum (after Nick's season)
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