Becca Tilley - Bachelor 19 - Discussion - #8

sfrank wrote:

Mommyof1 wrote:

soccermom333 wrote:^^^ I disagree.  Chris is not that devious.  He meant what he said.  He wanted Becca in my opinion.  Even his dad thought so.  Nothing will change my opinion on that.  I wish them well but there is a reason Whit is not watching.  All imo of course.  :cutesmile!:

Yes.  Chris' dad said "Becca is who Chris wants", Mama Soules said, "I think it's up to you, it's really up to you" and Chris was begging for her to love him on the LCD.  Becca just couldn't get there in six weeks.    Smart girl.  I couldn't either Becca.  

^^^I agree. And I say fine. Forget the edit of the show. Look at the live ATFR for all the proof you need.

Im repeating what I said in another thread a few days ago...

We've talked about the too long hug and him being so fidgety when Becca came on stage but there were bigger moments that I saw:

First, he chokes getting out the words "I feel khan-fident, we are probably both in a better place" -  he  appears to be anything but. I don't think even HE believes what he was saying.

Chris also vigorously defends his relationship with Becca twice to CH at even the slightest suggestion that it was just a "loss cause" or the possibility of an artificial connection like his BIL said....in fact it's one of rare moments that Chris is able to articulate with ease how he is feelings about ANYTHING.

Imo it's because he's being genuine speaking from heart rather than trying to remember the script or what he should be saying. Contrast that with the "scripted lines" he had to use as crutch on GMA to describe how he felt about Whitney and why he picked her to be F1 and it speaks volumes.

mindless wrote:

Jolena wrote:
I did listen to it. Some of the girls said that Whitney never talked about her dates with Chris and they weren't aware how strong of a connection Chris and Whitney had until they watched the show. ( smart on Whitney's part)  From what I saw on ATFR (and at this point they are familiar and relaxed with ea other given the fact they've been together since November) is that they don't need to prove anything to anyone with over the top PDA, they gave just enough ( a few kisses and some tight hugs :Nod:)  I think Whitney is more reserved and will prefer to be more private with their personal relationship , as does Chris., ( and that's obvious with their lack of constant social media during and post show) . IMO Chris is not a touchy huggy type of guy and we saw that from him on Andi's season, he was never over the top., more bland and vanilla in the regard of PDA.(I even say back when they announced him as the bachelor that he might need a PDA 101 lesson from Josh) . Chris HAD to step it up with Becca (even going out of his PDA comfort zone to give TPTB the results they were trying to get with the storyboard., the ATFR  had to tie in with the storyboard (conflicted) from the show .  (He wasen't going to sit there on ATFR and say that he was never conflicted and Whitney was his F1 early on, nor would he have wanted Becca to feel bad, that was NOT happening , Chris rather take the rath/heat then hurt Becca's feelings or go against the storyboard that was presented), and don't doubt for one minute that Whitney wasen't made aware of that and how this all has to go down.  Alot more behind the scenes goes on then what we the viewers are LED to believe. Everyone loved Becca , there was not one thing about her NOT to love, but Whitney got the proposal, the ring and the Final Rose and in the end that says it ALL. I agree to disagree and imo Becca was NEVER going to be his F1 .IMHO

Regarding the bolded, when Kaitlyn asked him during some group date what's the most important thing for him in a relationship, he said physical affection. He himself said he's a touchy-feely person. I think we saw that loud and clear during the season. He was even rubbing Jade's arm during the WTA. Yet with Whitney, it was mostly her initiating the physical contact, even their first kiss.

Anyway, I don't really understand why it would be in any way a good thing that Chris was just following a script and trying to squeeze an ILY out of Becca because the producers told him to. That would be beyond cruel to do to someone who's never been in love before. Do you really think Chris is that kind of a guy? Do you think he's still lying in all interviews when asked about his relationship with Becca? I don't see why anyone would be rooting for someone like that. Yes, it's a TV show, but they're not actors. Every time he hugs Becca it looks like he never wants to let go. JMO.

soccermom333 wrote:^^^ I disagree.  Chris is not that devious.  He meant what he said.  He wanted Becca in my opinion.  Even his dad thought so.  Nothing will change my opinion on that.  I wish them well but there is a reason Whit is not watching.  All imo of course.  :cutesmile!:

I do think that Chris was in love with both women, that it wasnt an act. He did say though that was his dad said hurt him because he as he said in his blog: The truth is, at that time, I didn't know what I wanted. And also, any time you take a chance on love, it's a risk, no matter whom it's with.

I see a lot of similarities with Des/Brooks/Chris. Chris was the one that was soooo perfect for her (so alike) but she was so blinded by Brooks that she almost missed out of the love of her life. How many of us havent been there??? When he was gone she could se that and now she is soooo happy. Chris H said: Whitney is so perfect for Chris it was almost hard for him to see it. The ones that you dont have to fight for are often not so apeeling.

Chris wrote that the thing that almost hurt the most was the lack of emotions in Beccas eyes during the rejection. I am so happy that they didnt end up together. IF you have the same feeling for both women, why go with the one that doesnt want the life you want when you want it. Thats not going for the one thats safe in my opinion. That is being smart and looking out for yourself. IF he wouldnt have been in love with Whitney then it would have been dumb, BUT he was in love with her too.

My experience in life is that it is not true that as long as you are with the one you love you are happy anywhere. Love is not always enough, no matter how strong it is (and Becca wasnt there). If you cant get your other really important needs fulfilled its really hard to get a relationship to work even with the greatest love. (Ali/Roberto for exampe) IF he had the same feelings for both why would he then go for the one where he would end up in the same situation like with his ex? Long distance relationship? I think he absolutely made the smartest choice for all three, I believe they will all be happy. :cutesmile!:

And, a lot of chosen ones have not been watching the show... Chris (DES) for example... JP someone also said, and others too. Would you want to see your man kissing tons of girls? That is just not nessessary and doesnt mean that its a bad sign...

I know this is Becca's thread, but this just made me

article Glamour wrote:"What you just said is something I reciprocate" This was Chris' incredibly passionate response to Whitney's declaration of love. How did he get to that place? Easy. He just had his favorite chicken come into the barn and press CTRL + ALT + <3 on his motherboard.

About touchy-feely guy - something himself stated to be - that's one of the unresolved issues: What is Chris' real, no-mask, no-restrains, dominant character self? I thought I knew it, but now I admit, I have no idea what to think of, so I stop caring.

I do believe though that Becca provoked something in him, that as some here stated better before me, made him look more attractive and I doubt TPTB had to push him to initiate that behavior. So, that leaves me

I think at this point, we basically will all have to agree to disagree when it comes downs to seeing or not seeing things, depending on if your in camp Whitney or Becca.  Neither side will be swayed at this point, IMO.  Once his DWTS run ends and things return to a more normal life for C/W, maybe those from team Becca will get a chance to see more of why Whitney was indeed his choice.  But if they don't, that's absolutely fine and their right to feel the way they do.  I wish C/W well, as I do any couple coming off the show.  They all have a long road ahead to maneuver with the show and edit normally doing them no favors.  Its their life and choice to make it or not.

Now, to bring this back on topic, as far as Becca is concerned, was there something there beyond edit (on both sides)?  I tend to believe so, but I could most definitely be wrong and was totally Fliess'd.  At this point, I don't really care.  Becca helped make the season more enjoyable and entertaining.  I hope she finds her own prince, when the time is right for her.  She handled herself well all season and has maneuvered through interviews with class.  She may need to give lessons to future contestants on how to handle SM and interviews with humor, personality and class while not compromising your own morals and values.  As always...JMHO.

Miyala wrote:Chris wrote that the thing that almost hurt the most was the lack of emotions in Becca's eyes during the rejection.

And that's the moment that made me admire Becca. Her smile at FRC, her expression ...while he was telling her - JMHO - that she wasn't "enough" for him (to fight, to continue, to try, to take that d*** chance) ...

he chose the other woman ... he rejected the possibility of Becca's feelings being strong enough ... he made a judgement call that Becca isn't WORTH it.

And he expected ... he hoped ... he wanted her to ... do what? CRY?

I applauded Becca in that moment for that stare, for not giving him, TPTB or anyone else the pleasure, to see, to feel, to know her true feelings. It was the perfect "beep".

happygolucky wrote:I know this is Becca's thread, but this just made me

article Glamour[b] wrote:"What you just said is something I reciprocate" This was Chris' incredibly passionate response to Whitney's declaration of love. How did he get to that place? Easy. He just had his favorite chicken come into the barn and press CTRL + ALT + <3 on his motherboard[/b].

About touchy-feely guy - something himself stated to be - that's one of the unresolved issues: What is Chris' real, no-mask, no-restrains, dominant character self? I thought I knew it, but now I admit, I have no idea what to think of, so I stop caring.

I do believe though that Becca provoked something in him, that as some here stated better before me, made him look more attractive and I doubt TPTB had to push him to initiate that behavior. So, that leaves me

:cantstopl:Yes, my inner mean girl laughed so hard when I watched that part.  

Some say he's not articulate but I think he didn't have a hard time articulating when he was around Becca. JMO

happygolucky wrote:

Miyala wrote:Chris wrote that the thing that almost hurt the most was the lack of emotions in Becca's eyes during the rejection.

And that's the moment that made me admire Becca. Her smile at FRC, her expression ...while he was telling her - JMHO - that she wasn't "enough" for him (to fight, to continue, to try, to take that d*** chance) ...

he chose the other woman ... he rejected the possibility of Becca's feelings being strong enough ... he made a judgement call that Becca isn't WORTH it.

And he expected ... he hoped ... he wanted her to ... do what? CRY?

I applauded Becca in that moment for that stare, for not giving him, TPTB or anyone else the pleasure, to see, to feel, to know her true feelings. It was the perfect "beep".

Good post!

Just like when JK said, "Becca just wasn't into you". Ooooh, burn! The look on Chris' face said it all. That cut to the core, IMO.

mindless wrote:

happygolucky wrote:

Miyala wrote:Chris wrote that the thing that almost hurt the most was the lack of emotions in Becca's eyes during the rejection.

And that's the moment that made me admire Becca. Her smile at FRC, her expression ...while he was telling her - JMHO - that she wasn't "enough" for him (to fight, to continue, to try, to take that d*** chance) ...

he chose the other woman ... he rejected the possibility of Becca's feelings being strong enough ... he made a judgement call that Becca isn't WORTH it.

And he expected ... he hoped ... he wanted her to ... do what? CRY?

I applauded Becca in that moment for that stare, for not giving him, TPTB or anyone else the pleasure, to see, to feel, to know her true feelings. It was the perfect "beep".

Good post!

HGL -

Mommyof1 wrote:Just like when JK said, "Becca just wasn't into you".  Ooooh, burn!  The look on Chris' face said it all.  That cut to the core, IMO.  

All quotes aside....I am one that believes Chris and Whitney do make a good pair. Becca will find her man in due time. I am one that feels that 'Thinks happen for a reason'. When Becca finds her man we can all jump up and down with happiness. :cutesmile!:

Pia1 wrote:

Mommyof1 wrote:Tilley says of an enamored Soules (who pleaded, "I want everything you can give me"), "I wished I could have told him what he needed to hear. But it would have been unfair of me. With him sitting there, begging me, it would have been so easy for me to just be like, 'Okay, I am in love with you.' But if I lied about how I was feeling, it was just going to be a disservice to us when it was all over."

http://www.people.com/article/bachelor-finale-runner-up-becca-reacts-chris-decision-whitney


These are Becca's actual words, which seem pretty strong if it was always going to be Whitney.  JMO.

That's the point I was trying to get across. I strongly believe that he would've chosen Becca if she had given him any indication that she would accept a proposal.imo. This is why I admire her more because a person with weaker convictions would've caved in.

But anyway, it's all done with so I'm excited to see what Becca is going to do next. A lot of opportunities will probably come her way and I'm sure that she will choose wisely. imo.

I'm of the opinion that it wouldn't have changed anything. Becca had quite a few red flags attached. Logistics, lack of love/life experience, Virgin commitment, not knowing what she wanted and age difference. I'm not usually judgey about the age thing (my husband has 7 years on me) but you still have to be in the same hemisphere in life. IMO CH said it best, "He was intrigued by Becca...but you can't be a mature, older man, ready to settle down and have kids with somebody who's never felt the emotion of love; it just doesn't make any sense".