The Bachelorette 11 - Kaitlyn Bristowe - #7 - Media - Tweets - IG - *Sleuthing - Spoilers* - Discussion

stuckinsc wrote:No offense, but I have friends who were having sex with more than one guy.  She wasn't in a committed relationship with any of them, so why not?  Now they were free to do the same and probably were, but on the bachelorette that is just the way it goes.

This guy as a personal trainer, who has some pictures on IG of his hanging out with models and such has probably been in the situation to have sex with more than one girl too.  

No offense, but until she has only chosen one, Kaitlyn has the right to do whatever she wants.  I think that any man who claims to love and want Kaitlyn would understand that to her, she would want to check out the physical aspect of a relationship before making a decision and yes even give it more than one try to make sure.  In real life, would most of us agree to marry someone with having sex first?  Of my friends about 98% would tell you no.

So sorry, but to me, Shawn has nothing to forgive Kaitlyn for.  Now if she lied about it or did after she was only dating him, then I am on board with Shawn being forgiving.

Great point. The truth is most single people in their 20s and 30s are having sex with multiple people, until they enter into a monogamous relationship. It's the reason that apps like Tinder are so widely used.

And, again, this is only a big deal because TPTB are making it a big deal. RS said that many couples on the show have asked for privacy before FS and are given it. We've only heard about Ben, Bob, and Kaitlyn having pre-FS sex but I would be SHOCKED if they were the only ones. Courtney talked about how a producer walked in a bj being given to a lead by a non-winner (which I heard happened on unReal too?). And, I hate to keep repeating this, but pretty much every lead (except Sean and a select few others) have had sex with multiple contestants or have wanted to (like Ali). Unless we are willing to say that they are ALL sl*tty and disrespectful, it's just unfair to say that about Kaitlyn. From what I've seen, Trista/Ryan, Ashley/JP, and Jason/Molly all have their fans. Should their now spouses have left them for doing the same thing that Kaitlyn did?

GypsySarah wrote:Is it bad if I don't want Shawn to be strong? He needs to see K for who and what she is...a woman who puts sex and her lusty feelings above all else. How can you build a relationship on that?

Above what though? The feelings of a guy who she's been on one date with and has no commitment to yet? What about her feelings for Nick? Is she supposed to just ignore those and put Shawn on pedestal before she even knows him? I don't think that's fair and it doesn't mean she's not faithful in an actual relationship.

I can't believe I'm defending polygamous dating, when I'm one of the least promiscuous people on the planet. But that's the format of this show and I don't think Kait's timing makes her any more of a sl*t than any other lead, male or female.

mindless wrote:

GypsySarah wrote:Is it bad if I don't want Shawn to be strong? He needs to see K for who and what she is...a woman who puts sex and her lusty feelings above all else. How can you build a relationship on that?

Above what though? The feelings of a guy who she's been on one date with and has no commitment to yet? What about her feelings for Nick? Is she supposed to just ignore those and put Shawn on pedestal before she even knows him? I don't think that's fair and it doesn't mean she's not faithful in an actual relationship.

I can't believe I'm defending polygamous dating, when I'm one of the least promiscuous people on the planet. But that's the format of this show and I don't think Kait's timing makes her any more of a sl*t than any other lead, male or female.

Haha, SAME! I'm basically a Becca (25 y/o virgin), but I'm so against all the bashing Kaitlyn is getting for doing the same exact thing as pretty much every other lead.

And, I think that people are confusing the present for the past. Kaitlyn is (presumably) in love with Shawn NOW. At week five of filming, she had gone on ONE date with him and had probably spent less than 24 hours with the guy. She was simply not in love with him at that point. She did not owe him her fidelity. She was a single woman who had feelings for multiple men and was trying to figure out who she could develop the strongest mental, emotional, and physical connection with. No different than what 80% of single woman in their 20s do IRL.

emusha wrote:stuck -- my confusion has nothing to do with the act of sex and k doing it at all... i just think that it is very telling that K was all in with nick all the way to sex multiple times. the "edit" of her being head over heels with shawn just isn't real. Shawn is a jealous one -- and based on how he acted with nick coming on board can you imagine how he'd react to her choosing nick over him to have sex with first? I just think it's more telling of her feelings for each guy at this point ...so it'll be very interesting how she gets from this point to the last point of deciding shawn is the guy she wants and how shawn given how *HE* is (not anyone else) could get over it all...
it just sounds crazy to me esp with how intensely both of them were communicating feelings... K had 1-1 date with a lot of guys but chose only nick to have sex with -- that is not at all an easy pill to swallow. K also brought him on the show 4 weeks in when she'd built relationships with the other guys...we saw how shawn reacted to that...

it's the context of the sex (the fact that it's shawn and the fact that K seems to completely leave her worries and inhibitions at the door with Nick) that's significant imo not the actual act of sex and it being had with multiple people
it's very clear preferential treatment which shawn was NOT ok with

BlackHalo wrote:Kaitlyn can sex whoever she wants but if she felt so strongly about Shawn she'd respect their relationship enough not to jeopardizes things. And Nick just got there! She is obviously lying about how close their online relationship was. I think Shawn is a good enough guy to have went along with a proposal so Kaitlyn didn't walk away alone but I give them 2 months tops once ATFR airs. 

I respect both of your opinions, I really do. But Kaitlyn wasn't just in a relationship with Shawn, she was in a relationship with every man left of the show at the time. She was developing feelings for Shawn while having feelings for Nick and possibly Jared and someone else too.

Maybe I am too forgiving, but I have been in love with more than one person before, it is weird and hard to deal with and the whole premise of this stupid show. She is NOT Shawn's girlfriend at the point where she had sex with anyone else. She owes no explanations to Shawn until she has given him the final rose. Kaitlyn is very honest about being a woman for whom sex is important, she doesn't hide that fact from anyone. So until the moment that she says Shawn you are my final one, I want only you, then she can have sex with whomever she wants and it isn't Shawn's business to forgive anything. She has not lied to him, she has not deceived him. Let's say the spoiler is wrong and she is really with Nick, is everything she is saying and doing with Shawn unfair to Nick? Should Nick pout and make Kaitlyn say she is sorry? Nope, because she is not in a committed relationship with any of these men.

I don't sleep around, but once upon a time before my husband, I did go through a period where I was single and having sex with more than one man. So what? I owed no explanations to anyone. I told my hubby all about it when we got back together, but I owed no one any explanations. I was honest with each of them as they were to me.

Kaitlyn has been honest about her intentions and what she is doing hasn't she? Then sorry, but she is doing nothing wrong. If any of the men have a problem with how Kaitlyn behaves they should leave. But they have no right to hold what she does against her if she is being honest.

She belongs to none of them at this point in shooting this show. JMO.

Well reading you all this evening, had me laughing so hard.  MPOV is I give the relationship 6 mths tops.  The way Shawn behave on the show since Nick came, since the show finished he fav'd a tweet saying Nick is secretly dating Whitney knowing it is false, he is not over what happen on the show and when he sees this and if Nick and Kait slept together in the fantasy suite again that relationship is on its last tread, because we can just imagine when the are at the after how CH is going to make things look, wait for it, this is fleiss goldmine believe me CH is going to go for the jugular when the time comes.

emusha wrote:OP -- I have a hard time believing that the "secret" is something to be revealed if it's referring to them both saying they are "Falling in love" also can you imagine shawn "REVEALING" that in a diff way than had been revealed before on this show? like telling the guys? etc... he just doesn't strike me as the type but I guess it's not beyond the margins of possibility that he blows up and says that to the guys?

ETA: I think it has to do with the sex bit...jmho

Regarding the bolded, it's also possible that Kaitlyn already told Shawn that he will be her F1.

good points all around.
I think K can do everything she pleases and just in that way shawn can also do everything he pleases. from what we learnt about him I have a very difficult time seeing him being ok with everything K chooses to do after she's told him what she told him -- I'm even surprised he stuck around till the end and supposedly proposed per RS.
this is partly producer manipulation, partly edit but he was very clearly angry at the whole thing and consistently so

ETA: good point observe2 that's possible!

chasingpavements wrote:All of the final couples that broke up did so because of issues after filming, not sexual activity that occurred before they were in a committed relationship.

You know I mentally went through a checklist of every couple since Jason's season and while some of them married and a lot of them broke up, not one (IMO) broke up because of things that happened during filming the season or airing the season. The one that appeared to be influenced was Brad2 and that was not the issue it seemed to be, and Jason's season itself was a whole other story.

reason wrote:Well reading you all this evening, had me laughing so hard.  MPOV is I give the relationship 6 mths tops.  The way Shawn behave on the show since Nick came, since the show finished he fav'd a tweet saying Nick is secretly dating Whitney knowing it is false, he is not over what happen on the show and when he sees this and if Nick and Kait slept together in the fantasy suite again that relationship is on its last tread, because we can just imagine when the are at the after how CH is going to make things look, wait for it, this is fleiss goldmine believe me CH is going to go for the jugular when the time comes.

Except shawn is no dummy and already knows "everything." They might even breakup before who knows. If they do, TPTB will want him for the next bachelor. Win for us!

E & US saying it's Nick just tells me that they read what RS said or maybe have the same source. They're not always right and I'm not willing to just believe everything they (or RS) says. I guess we'll all know soon enough anyway.

Even if this is true it's early enough in the season that we really can't look at the end result (Shawn being f1) and assume that Kaitlyn knew he was at that time. She obviously has strong feelings for Nick to let him join the season. IMO it would have been better not to have sex at this point with anyone but it happened according to Kaitlyn. No matter who it was, she was understandably freaked out about the other guys after the fact.

Good post albean99
You have talked me off the ledge in a manner of speaking.

I keep forgetting that my code of morals is not Kaitlyns and that is why I have such an issue with what took place (and actually what takes place each season).

I guess Shawn hasn't run away from Kait yet based on the previews like some of us  She just Insta'd this and called herself a creep in the caption.