Bachelorette 13 - Rachel Lindsay - General Discussion - *Sleuthing Spoilers*

@Ladybug82 Can I ask for a succinct version of what happened exactly? I think I missed some stuff... Its just they that Vanessa and Rachel had a fight in Bimini right?

This is my understanding: We are not sure of the details of what happened. It's speculation. It may not be anything and then maybe it was. Only those involved know.
It is speculated that there was a difference between the two women. Depending on who reports what and how each person is viewed, that is how the magnitude of the situation is reported.
I like to think on a scale of 1-10 with 1 being a yawn and 10 being an act of terror, it was a 1-2. JMO.
I would also like to add that depending on what thread you are in, it is a topic occasionally mentioned and does not rear it's ugly head in only one specific thread. I know. I read them all.

Kashathediva wrote:This is my understanding: We are not sure of the details of what happened. It's speculation. It may not be anything and then maybe it was. Only those involved know.
It is speculated that there was a difference between the two women. Depending on who reports what and how each person is viewed, that is how the magnitude of the situation is reported.
I like to think on a scale of 1-10 with 1 being a yawn and 10 being an act of terror, it was a 1-2. JMO.
I would also like to add that depending on what thread you are in, it is a topic occasionally mentioned and does not rear it's ugly head in only one specific thread. I know. I read them all.

Great thanks @Kasha

The reason I brought it up is because it was speculated her friends from the show said she wants someone who will put her in her place, which I disagree with.

We already know she told someone to get the eff out of there, he probably deserved it, and we know it appears she dropped the word Vanessa from her vocabulary since she didn't wish her good luck, only Nick, she didn't follow V back on SM which is all her right to do so. Plus this post brought over from which IA with @julychild 's comment,

https://www.bachandbachettefans.net/t4136p240-bachelorette-13-rachel-lindsay-sm-media-sleuthing-spoilers-discussion-2

julychild wrote:Rachel has talked about this, but I guess one of the challenges that she might face, this season, is being vulnerable enough for the guys to connect with her. Most men (people) like to feel needed, so I hope she, at least, took that away from her experience on The Bachelor.

Anything you can tell us about this season?

“KOCO has been awesome for us. The show has been received very well in Oklahoma City. Rachel, I think, will be big. We are in the middle of it right now, three and a half weeks in. Rachel is doing good. I will say this -- there was one guy who was not there for the right reason. We took care of it. Actually, she took care of it. She’s a strong woman. A lot of times during The Bachelorette I get a little defensive. I feel like I’ve got to take care of them. She’s a strong, proud lawyer, you don’t have to take care of her at all.”

Source

tells me the last thing she is looking for is someone to put her in her place and the reasons behind my opinion. She's not the first contestant or lead where previous situations are brought up multiple times. That's the nature of our forum which makes for good discussion.

Ladybug82 wrote:This is a general discussion thread so all thoughts are welcome.  Some many tire of the topic and have the option not to read, skip, skim, or whatever necessary to avoid topics they might not want to read about or are tired of hearing about.  No one is forcing anyone to read and post in any thread.  We have a ton of threads, venture out and explore others until the topic changes.  We do not tell others what they can and can't post about.

I didn't tell anyone what they could post about, though. I said I was tired of the references to the "fight," and I am. I think that's as valid a stance as those who want to keep bringing it up to subtly put Rachel down, and in fairness I should be as equally as welcome to express my thoughts. Telling me in so many words to shut up and go read something else if I don't like it seems contradictory to the idea that all thoughts are welcome. But okay!  

Ladybug82 wrote:As for whatever went down between them, no we don't know the details, but that didn't stop the speculation and people taking sides and/or turning on the other during Nick's season.  And since it involved our reigning Ette, its relevant in regards to actions and attitudes, IMO, regardless of how much or little we know.

JMOAA

It was said we have seen how she reacts when called out and we haven't. **IMO**That footage was never shown. We don't know if she was called out or not to begin with. If someone has formed an opinion on Rachel's character based on a secondhand account of that incident, it should be treated as an opinion, not a fact **IMO**. I fail to see how the fight is relevant to Rachel's season, which does not include Vanessa. Seems off-topic. IMO.

That's all such good food for thought.

I can really relate to Rachel, I'm a professional WOC too and I have been called intimidating so many times since I was 13 that I can't even count. And interestingly I used date like assertive, loud guys but the guy I ended up with was the strong, silent but very confident type. In the Vanessa situation, I doubt anyone was right/wrong and therefore it was stupid to air but I think it was made worse by most of the others picking sides. Especially with the "squad".

I think Rachel's journey will be the most interesting when she looks at herself and her ability to be truly open to actually falling in love.

@puppiesandkittens I never told you or anyone else on the board, for that matter, to shut up.  I simply said if one does not like what it being discussed there are plenty of other topics to read or skim threw the posts that have the topic not wanted to be read. Its not as if its an ongoing thing in every thread. Its occasional at best and was referenced for a reason.

Your welcome to your thoughts and opinions and to post them as long as they're within forum rules, same as anyone else here.  However, some may want to discuss it and I would hate posts saying I'm tired of discussing it and hope its not discussed further may deter them from mentioning it in context with something else.  I  don't want any poster to ever feel as if they can not post something become someone else is tried of hearing about it.  But that's JMO, to each their own.

puppiesandkittens wrote:

Ladybug82 wrote:This is a general discussion thread so all thoughts are welcome.  Some many tire of the topic and have the option not to read, skip, skim, or whatever necessary to avoid topics they might not want to read about or are tired of hearing about.  No one is forcing anyone to read and post in any thread.  We have a ton of threads, venture out and explore others until the topic changes.  We do not tell others what they can and can't post about.

I didn't tell anyone what they could post about, though. I said I was tired of the references to the "fight," and I am. I think that's as valid a stance as those who want to keep bringing it up to subtly put Rachel down, and in fairness I should be as equally as welcome to express my thoughts. Telling me in so many words to shut up and go read something else if I don't like it seems contradictory to the idea that all thoughts are welcome. But okay!  

Ladybug82 wrote:As for whatever went down between them, no we don't know the details, but that didn't stop the speculation and people taking sides and/or turning on the other during Nick's season.  And since it involved our reigning Ette, its relevant in regards to actions and attitudes, IMO, regardless of how much or little we know.

JMOAA

It was said we have seen how she reacts when called out and we haven't. That footage was never shown. We don't know if she was called out or not to begin with. If someone has formed an opinion on Rachel's character based on a secondhand account of that incident, it should be treated as an opinion, not a fact. I fail to see how the fight is relevant to Rachel's season, which does not include Vanessa. Seems off-topic. IMO.

The original poster mentioned

I don't think it's fair to hold whatever happened with Vanessa against Rachel when nobody knows what actually happened. I'm so tired of seeing it referenced in her threads, tbh. It happened, it's over, and both women have moved on with their lives. I really hope it doesn't keep coming up through Rachel's whole season.

Ladybug83 mentions it is a discussion thread and so the topic is fair. All discussion is fair in a discussion thread when it follows site rules. SO the response she gave was valid. AND IMO fair.
As far as the second bolded comment by the OP, yes, it happened and as long as site rules in a discussion thread are followed it will continue to be a topic of discussion should it be brought up. Those things happen in discussion threads. It is the right of members.
No one is suggesting the OP's stance is not valid. It's simply saying all stances are valid and there are other options available should one not enjoy the current thread.
As far as this quote,

Telling me in so many words to shut up and go read something else if I don't like it seems contradictory to the idea that all thoughts are welcome. But okay!

I do not even know what to say about this. SO I won't say much. I will let that stand on it's own merit.
Those words quoted and bolded were not used. Nothing close IMO. Those are the same words used in many instances often to let members know there are other areas in the forum to enjoy if the thread is not a happy place.

Tired of seeing it referenced is a direct slam against member's opinions which isn't within the forum rules and actually should have been deleted.

Same as if I said, I'm tired of seeing people stick up for Rachel.

Nothing was stated as fact. I provided reasons for my opinion.

@Ladybug82 Again, I didn't say you told me to shut up. I said that you were telling me to shut up and go read something else in so many words. That's how I took your post, but if that's not what you meant, that's fine. My mistake. Sorry I misunderstood you.

@GuardianAngel I wasn't trying to silence you or anyone who wants to discuss the fight. I thought it was okay to express my opinion that I'm over whatever that was and that since there are no hard facts about the fight, and it wasn't shown on tv, the speculation that Rachel is this horrible person because of it seems rather unfair, IMO. I'm not saying you said that but I've seen a lot of negativity towards her because of it. But of course, everyone is entitled to their opinion. I can't stop anyone from posting about it or feeling how they want to feel. I should have phrased my thoughts differently.

I didn't mean to derail the thread. Awkward.

puppiesandkittens wrote:@Ladybug82 Again, I didn't say you told me to shut up. I said that you were telling me to shut up and go read something else in so many words. That's how I took your post, but if that's not what you meant, that's fine. My mistake. Sorry I misunderstood you.

@GuardianAngel I wasn't trying to silence you or anyone who wants to discuss the fight. I thought it was okay to express my opinion that I'm over whatever that was and that since there are no hard facts about the fight, and it wasn't shown on tv, the speculation that Rachel is this horrible person because of it seems rather unfair, IMO. I'm not saying you said that but I've seen a lot of negativity towards her because of it. But of course, everyone is entitled to their opinion. I can't stop anyone from posting about it or feeling how they want to feel. I should have phrased my thoughts differently.

I didn't mean to derail the thread. Awkward.

The whole fight incident is a non issue to the general audience...as it should. It can be confusing at times, when you spend a lot of time here, but there is what people here think and then there is what Bachelornation (for want of a better word) thinks.

Bottom line, all of those thoughts/opinions do not affect the price of fish!

To all the sleuthers out there.... Sorry if this question has already been answered but I must have missed it then.i know we know Peter was the first one on one but do we know which guys were at the basketball date vs the obstical course date back in episode two. And if so the guys who didn't get dates that first week is it telling or not??ne

And the only thing I will say about the supposed fight/disagreement.between rachel and Vanessa is that when asked during he after the final rose both of them said paraphrasing here "if nick is happy then I'm happy for him." I think that says a lot without saying anything. Neither of them mentioned Vanessa at all. I just didn't get a good vibe about her. There that's my two scenes and im done now .