Rachel Lindsay & Bryan Abasolo - Bachelorette 13 - Discussion - #2

@Chgohighlife

Somehow I feel the implication that if someone stays home and doesn't work outside of the house, that person is of less value.

What if after discussions and planning, they mutually agree Bryan will stay home for the rest of their relationship? Does that make him an unworthy partner to Rachel? Does that mean he's lazy and all his education and training are wasted?
I have a master's degree from a highly ranked college, but I've been a stay at home mom for almost 20 years and even though now my kids are gone to college, I still am not interested in finding a job outside of my home. Does that mean I make less contribution to my marriage, my family? I am positive if you ask my husband and kids, they will say of course not.

This discussion is interesting, imo, because to me, it's more than two people from a reality show, but also it reveals possible gender bias and the implied slight against the stay at home partner. My personal opinion only.

Kolormiblnd wrote:

adf23 wrote:I agree that Rachel does have alot going for her. Rachel is doing all sorts of positive things post show, she has had several awesome opportunities. What Bryan has going for him is Rachel. Imo.

I totally disagree with you about Bryan. He is educated and can make a living, was doing this before he met her. He is not a two bit hustler from Miami without an education or a career, IMO. He is not depending on Rachel for his existence. Not all relationships need two overachievers to be successful, IMO. If I were to ask who Don Gummer is? Maybe a few people would know without a google search. But If I asked who Meryl Streep is? Everyone on this board would chime in. Well, Don Gummer is Mr Meryl Streep but as in the background as he is, he is successful in his own right and they have been married for a long time. Basically what makes relationships work is that the couple find their balance and this couple: Bryan and Rachel appear well balanced to me. All JMHO.

In some circles Rachel is no Meryl Streep or Oprah. And when Rachel comes up, it's in regard to Rachel Maddow of MSNBC.

adf23 wrote:I agree that Rachel does have alot going for her. Rachel is doing all sorts of positive things post show, she has had several awesome opportunities. What Bryan has going for him is Rachel. Imo.

via GIPHY

jmo.

sdmom wrote:Somehow I feel the implication that if someone stays home and doesn't work outside of the house, that person is of less value.

What if after discussions and planning, they mutually agree Bryan will stay home for the rest of their relationship? Does that make him an unworthy partner to Rachel? Does that mean he's lazy and all his education and training are wasted?
I have a master's degree from a highly ranked college, but I've been a stay at home mom for almost 20 years and even though now my kids are gone to college, I still am not interested in finding a job outside of my home. Does that mean I make less contribution to my marriage, my family? I am positive if you ask my husband and kids, they will say of course not.

This discussion is interesting, imo, because to me, it's more than two people from a reality show, but also it reveals possible gender bias and the implied slight against the stay at home partner. My personal opinion only.

100% agree!! Or should I say 1000% agree! I actually think he would be absolutely demonized if he became a stay at home spouse, which isn't fair at all IMO. (I'm also a stay-at-home parent -- with a law degree & went to top schools.)

sdmom wrote:

adf23 wrote:I agree that Rachel does have alot going for her. Rachel is doing all sorts of positive things post show, she has had several awesome opportunities. What Bryan has going for him is Rachel. Imo.

As some have point out, we don't know Bryan's plan. And what if Rachel supports him financially? They are partners, as long as it's a mutual agreement and both are happy, what does it matter, really?

My very good friend is a manager at a Fortune 500 company, she is the main bread winner to her Harvard-grad freelance architect, and they have been happily married for more than 20 years. So I really don't see what's wrong with Bryan and Rachel.

All Jmo.

i really hope she isn't supporting him financially. That idea makes me sick. Many a woman have been been burned by blind trust. Nope, they are not partners til they have walked down the aisle.

adf23 wrote:

sdmom wrote:

adf23 wrote:I agree that Rachel does have alot going for her. Rachel is doing all sorts of positive things post show, she has had several awesome opportunities. What Bryan has going for him is Rachel. Imo.

As some have point out, we don't know Bryan's plan. And what if Rachel supports him financially? They are partners, as long as it's a mutual agreement and both are happy, what does it matter, really?

My very good friend is a manager at a Fortune 500 company, she is the main bread winner to her Harvard-grad freelance architect, and they have been happily married for more than 20 years. So I really don't see what's wrong with Bryan and Rachel.

All Jmo.

i really hope she isn't supporting him financially. That idea makes me sick.    Many a woman have been been burned by blind trust. Nope, they are not partners til they have walked down the aisle.

In that case, Oprah and Steadman are not partners either.

adf23 wrote:

sdmom wrote:

adf23 wrote:I agree that Rachel does have alot going for her. Rachel is doing all sorts of positive things post show, she has had several awesome opportunities. What Bryan has going for him is Rachel. Imo.

As some have point out, we don't know Bryan's plan. And what if Rachel supports him financially? They are partners, as long as it's a mutual agreement and both are happy, what does it matter, really?

My very good friend is a manager at a Fortune 500 company, she is the main bread winner to her Harvard-grad freelance architect, and they have been happily married for more than 20 years. So I really don't see what's wrong with Bryan and Rachel.

All Jmo.

i really hope she isn't supporting him financially. That idea makes me sick.    Many a woman have been been burned by blind trust. Nope, they are not partners til they have walked down the aisle.

IMO as long as they are committed to each other it doesn't matter who is supporting whom. IMO Bryan can support her or Rachel can support him. Totally up to them. Many men have also been burned by blind trust. Perhaps Rachel is mooching off of Bryan??

vacayeveryday wrote:

adf23 wrote:

sdmom wrote:

As some have point out, we don't know Bryan's plan. And what if Rachel supports him financially? They are partners, as long as it's a mutual agreement and both are happy, what does it matter, really?

My very good friend is a manager at a Fortune 500 company, she is the main bread winner to her Harvard-grad freelance architect, and they have been happily married for more than 20 years. So I really don't see what's wrong with Bryan and Rachel.

All Jmo.

i really hope she isn't supporting him financially. That idea makes me sick.    Many a woman have been been burned by blind trust. Nope, they are not partners til they have walked down the aisle.

IMO as long as they are committed to each other it doesn't matter who is supporting whom. IMO Bryan can support her or Rachel can support him. Totally up to them. Many men have also been burned by blind trust. Perhaps Rachel is mooching off of Bryan??

In what way? Last time I checked, Rachel was the more famous/popular of the pair, she's got more SM followers (which is important for shilling) & she's also the one who still has her j-o-b

I don't really think Rachel still has her job. She's technically still working for them, but I think she's basically just closing her cases in preparation for her to leave. She's definitely not doing a 9-5 thing and she hasn't for months. IMO, bryan and Rachel are pretty much in the same boat. They both were likely making six figures pre-show, likely have a good amount of savings, but right now aren't doing much more than what the typical Bachelor couple does (appearances and shilling). IMO.

Aria wrote:I don't really think Rachel still has her job. She's technically still working for them, but I think she's basically just closing her cases in preparation for her to leave. She's definitely not doing a 9-5 thing and she hasn't for months. IMO, bryan and Rachel are pretty much in the same boat. They both were likely making six figures pre-show, likely have a good amount of savings, but right now aren't doing much more than what the typical Bachelor couple does (appearances and shilling). IMO.

I was just about to make this point. They are one mooching off the other-----taking turns.

As long as they are happy with the situation, I guess that's all that matters.
About IDK, 15 yrs or so ago, we got new neighbors across the street. He had just been laid off with the company he worked for and his wife worked as an exec with Time Warner. She kept getting promotions and going up the ladder with other companies. He stays home. The neighbors down the street, she is a pediatrician and he was a house dad. Down the block a similar situation exists with the woman of the home bringing home the bacon and the man being the house husband.
I think a lot of traditional roles are gone and being re-defined. Whatever works is key.